May. 6th, 2016

dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/1WcOTTJ:
… is it standard to comment on a fic with characterization notes you didn’t like and close by saying, however nicely, that you hope the author can “edit to fix” the problems? 

Like, apart from whether you have any idea what my overarching plan for the fic was, or whether you have a point or whether I was going somewhere with the character notes I did hit, is it common that authors will go back and substantially change a posted work? 

I don’t. It’s spelling, grammar, maybe small continuity, but even if I change my mind about something, I really hesitate to alter a published work. 

I feel like that’s a really shocking thing to ask for, in a comment on a 65k WIP that the author has repeatedly assured in chapter notes is actually a completed work that’s just being finally-edited for posting.
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/21Cae8c:
wisekrakens replied to your post:… is it standard to comment on a fic with…

I’m a little bit taken aback by the suggestion, tbh. Expressing disagreement is one thing – a thing I’d hesitate to do – but “change the thing I don’t like”? Nah, bro.

I’m not, like, fishing for defenses or whatever, I’m just trying to calibrate my stunned reaction! What the heckie. It’s mostly centered around “A is the main character and B is secondary and that’s not cool”, which, I mean, is, what??

I’m. Well. There’s 65k of this story posted. And 90k more to come. I think I pretty clearly have an arc planned out here? I’m not crazy to think that it’s a really fuckin’ weird thing to ask??
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/1rxs4wM:
I wrote a niceish but sort of crisp response along the lines of “i see you care deeply about these highly specific things, but i can only assure you that i’ve made the choices i have deliberately, and if you want to guarantee a particular thing i’m afraid the only real choice is for you to write it yourself’?

i mean, like, i’m trying not to be a jerk here but i am sort of real goddamn insulted that you think my characterizations were lazy errors or something? i said what i said on purpose, bro, I got a plan. 

I mean. I’m not saying it’s perfect and I’m not saying the plan is rock-solid? So it’s possible at the end I’ll look back and say aw, dang, I never did manage to tie that one up? but like? that’s how art kind of? works? I think? c’mon. Like, I’ll keep it in mind that you think I’m making this character out to be too weak and I’ll certainly make sure to make it obvious that I don’t intend him to come across as weak in the end? but I’m kind of trying to have him be a character in development here so yes, there are some things that are not him being In Charge at the moment, and that’s on purpose. So like. 

Sure, bring it up as like a general thing, like “you plan to resolve this thing right?” but not “it looks like you’ve fucked this thing up, edit it to fix that and I’ll be able to keep reading your story :)” 

Nah bro. There’s tone policing and then there’s just expecting to be treated like a human being who is doing a thing. Maybe if you were paying me, but if you were paying me, I’d’ve turned in the whole thing and had you read it all to see if I resolved your issues, and we’d discuss from there, right? After I cashed the advance.

That’s how this works.
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/24xg2oO:
thehoneybeewitch:

A sigil created to detain and diminish Donald Trump, pulled directly from a dream I had. Feel free to use it as you’d like.
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/21DBdAd:
tumblr will not stop telling me i have a message, but then not showing it to me when i look at my inbox. 

I had stress nightmares i don’t remember and woke up super anxious and thought about how maybe if i fell down the stairs I wouldn’t have to go to work and like, work’s not even that bad so what would i even do if i didn’t go, nothing useful, suck it up. 

unsurprisingly, despite my best efforts (i really did try), my laundry-list fic commenter found my reply condescending and just thinks my characterization of this character is just off in a couple of ways and i just ought to fix it and it’s an unwinnable argument all around.

So like. Here’s the thing. Either you trust the author or you don’t. If you don’t, then you’ve got to part ways. That’s the fundamental thing. if you don’t trust the author, it’s not going to end well. The emotional arcs aren’t going to resonate, the action points aren’t going to have any pop, and the character arcs are just not going to resolve properly. Because you don’t trust them. 

But like. I’m not here to throw a shit fit because someone disagrees with me. I’m not here to police someone’s reactions to my shit. But I just– you either trust me, or you don’t, you can’t come to me and tell me “i don’t trust these elements but if you say these things instead I’ll trust you”– that’s not how this works. 

You can say “these elements are worrying me and I’m afraid you won’t resolve them properly!” and I get it, then– like, these are important things to you, and if I don’t put a ton of thought into how I resolve them, I’ll have broken your trust! That’s a thing!

Maybe I’m just tone-policing then. But I feel like shit and am not really up for much beyond that level of analysis. 

I need an adult. 
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/1ry2B6j:
ineptshieldmaid replied to your post:I wrote a niceish but sort of crisp response along…

Ignore my previous reblog if it shows in notes. Have now observed the comments and they actually seem reasonable. Not that you’re obliged to edit finalized work in response to them, that’s not necessarily how it works: but the comments are contextualised critique which is reasonable to make. I’ve had that sort myself.

If I reframe it in my head as “I am worried you won’t resolve these things” then I can make it seem sort of reasonable? But it’s just– either you trust the author or you don’t, and i do feel that it’s really rude to come and leave a long note that’s like You better fix these things because you’ve handled them poorly! when basically every one of them was something that’s part of a long game? 

I’m super offended and I feel like I’m justified in being super offended, because that’s not the kind of thing you just– say? But maybe I’m being oversensitive after all. I don’t know. I’m just a dude, an anxious dude, who has put a shitload of work into a thing and is crushed by the assumption that I just hadn’t thought about what I was doing. 
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/1T2gfrD:
derekgeephoto:

“No D” Buffalo, NY
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/24xkEv4:
That feel when your unmedicated anxiety is giving you such shit that getting ready for work is a gag-inducing struggle and then your mom group-texts the family about her ankle physical therapy and you know your phone is going to be blowing up for your whole drive into work *sparkly flower gif*
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/1We13f7:
millicentthecat replied to your post:ineptshieldmaid replied to your post:I wrote a…

I don’t think you’re being oversensitive. It seems like a shitty comment to get? When people dispense unsolicited criticism as if their opinions were fact, when they’re unable to distinguish between “my problem” and “a problem,” that’s aggressive. It’s like policing your own rules for good writing onto others. I think the (typical) response is to feel defensive or to feel attacked.

It’s just so hard to filter it through the fucking whatever my anxiety is doing, which is not situational here, it’s a long-term thing, I mean I’ve been alternately catatonic and flipping my shit for at least a week so like, Something’s Up– and it means I just can’t approach this rationally.

(On a rational level I am dimly aware that this whole fucking thing totally sounds like me stirring shit for sympathy and that’s actually the opposite of what I’m actively trying to do but I am sure a big ol’ chunk of my ego would like nothing more than for legions of people to cry out “you poor thing” but then see, the other part of me would be like “that’s not the point” so it winds up not really working out and this is the downside of working at cross-purposes with yourself.)

Defensiveness isn’t a productive reaction, is the problem, even if it’s a justified one. I have emotions: they are injured by this. HOWEVER, this person has some interesting points that could be constructive, if I could approach them that way, but I’m having difficulty doing that, because the thing is framed, to me, like an attack would be. 

But then isn’t that just tone policing? If only you’d said it nicer, I would’ve been able to take it usefully? So really I have no justification; I can feel injured all I want but it doesn’t advance the discourse and so I should,

well,

I don’t know what I should do, and therein lies the problem. 
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/1rycmBs:
ineptshieldmaid replied to your post:millicentthecat replied to your…

You’re allowed to give yourself permission to take _time_ to process it, basically. Especially if your first response is angry defensiveness.

But that’s the problem, when you get locked into one of those anxiety loops– I answered it last night, because I wasn’t going to but then as I was getting ready for bed my head was going around and around writing increasingly-divorced-from-reality rants about how terrible everything is and how nobody should ever do anything ever. 

So it was either respond as calmly as manageable in the heat of the moment, OR not sleep and freak out all night. Them’s the choices.

I feel like I picked the lesser evil but I mean. I’m in an anxiety spiral, so there’s not actually a lesser evil. Everything is evil and we’re all going to die alone, so. 

Believe me, if I could chill out, I would. I wrote an apology too but that’s, I mean. I don’t know how to have normal feelings anymore, and also the world is ending and this is just, you know, the worst thing to happen to anyone in the history of ever. 
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/1STVpZc:
bomberqueen17:

That feel when your unmedicated anxiety is giving you such shit that getting ready for work is a gag-inducing struggle and then your mom group-texts the family about her ankle physical therapy and you know your phone is going to be blowing up for your whole drive into work *sparkly flower gif*

I’m giving myself gold stars for things I didn’t fuck up today and I get a gold star for “DIDN’T DRIVE OFF THE FUCKING ROAD THANKS FOR EIGHTY TEXTS ABOUT MUSHROOMS WHY DO NONE OF YOU HAVE A DAY JOB”
They’re retired, farmers, stay-at-home-moms, or work 8-4, you dumb jerk. But: successfully ignored my phone. Achievement inadvertently unlocked: convince my family I’m dead and/or don’t care about their lives.
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/1STXNz7:
ineptshieldmaid replied to your post:millicentthecat replied to your…

You could try saying ‘I’m not going to edit, and I think a lot of what you raised will be solved throughout the longer arc. I’m too defensive to engage with your points individually in public but I’ll keep them in mind in future’ or something? I mean, even if you decide they’re unwarranted in the long run, you will remember they were raised

I mean, by all means, we can keep brainstorming other ways I could have slightly altered my response to better suit the situation; Lord knows that’s all I’m going to do today anyway, so– I tried getting off the Internet and chilling out but that hasn’t been working out either, so I might as well keep obsessing over this. 

I mean, substantively, that’s what I <i>did</i>, but I’m sure I could have done it better. 
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/26ZZWTw:
Other things today I’ve obsessed/fretted/freaked out about besides my family sending! me messages! through their phones! it’s so much pressure! oh god! and Someone Once Asked Me A Question Too Hard On The Internet:

nobody but me does the maintenance on the machines in the department I haven’t worked in for several years

i am not The Best, it turns out, at a specific technical task at which I used to be The Best, even though I no longer work in that department

the baby fawn who was outside two days ago has not been back and that’s good but it was so tiny and cute and I am worried for it

I hissed at a stray cat to warn it away from my yard so my cat didn’t try to fight it and I think I probably hurt its feelings

that BMW SUV didn’t put its blinker on so when I changed lanes I cut it off because I didn’t know it was also changing lanes because it didn’t put its blinker on and THAT IS TERRIBLE FOR EVERYONE INVOLVED he looked so annoyed

I have mis-handled every conversation I’ve had today, I’m pretty sure, and I just cried at my computer thinking about socks

I am suuper going to get spoiled for Civil War because I wasn’t going to a midnight showing last night and I won’t see it until tonight or maybe tomorrow it might sell out, and I’m just so annoyed about that

I should get off the Internet, but as the above indicates, the real world is actually *worse*, it turns out, and everything is terrible

I have apparent Superpowers Of Observation but only about bad things, why can’t I use those powers for useful things?
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/1WNZlzr:
Good things though, or neutral things:

I did the machine maintenance so at least they’ve been cleaned like once this year

it is normal and natural for baby deer to move from place to place when they are small, it is how they remain safe from predators, if it had stayed it would have been a bad sign because that would mean its mother had abandoned it. It is surely thriving elsewhere.

I bought plus-size lace tights from sockdreams because they are sweet and will send me things. That will be really nice.

I will get to see Civil War, I asked Dave to go and he thought it was hilarious that I was so annoyed about the possibility of spoilers, and he said he really doesn’t mind going to movies, it will be okay

for a bit there I thought this was going to turn into an asthma attack but it hasn’t, and that is wonderful, because I ran out of rescue inhalers and they’re $60

everything is probably going to be okay

if not, well, i mean, nothing is ever really okay so it doesn’t matter
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/1VMH2M9:
A better distraction:

The courtship of Kes Dameron and Shara Bey. Here’s the opening scene. I’m still working on where to end it, but I think it’s done, and if it is, I’ll post it up soon. 

Shara Bey had seen a lot of things in her twenty-two years in this galaxy. She’d been a pilot since she was a kid, she’d grown up mostly shipboard and she’d lived on dozens of worlds, and she’d always steered her own destiny, she and her papa together against the world.

Now she was out on her own, but that was only temporary– she’d go back to her papa when this gig was over. But for now, she was on her own and she’d been enjoying living it up. There were a lot of opportunities available for a skilled pilot, especially one with a steady gig like this– and it was a flashy gig, sweet and prestigious, flying courier runs for rich folks. Flashy livery, real sweet ships, she’d flown more yachts now than she could even count. And it paid well, so of course she was socking most of it away for the lean times, but there was plenty, for once, left over for her to keep a private room and eat good food and wear nice things.

And go out drinking and dancing and find exciting people to hook up with, at least once in a while, to keep the loneliness at bay.

So she’d seen a lot of things, and she wasn’t real impressed by much.

But this boy. How stupid was she, that her head was so turned by this boy?

She’d seen him earlier, loading cargo– a wrench in his back pocket to hammer on the loading droids with, grease on his hands, his shirt clinging with sweat across a nice broad back, a capable grease-stained hand wrapped around a datapad with the loading manifest. The kind of person she saw every day in this kind of place, as much a part of the scenery as the vertigo-inducing sweep of space outside the shielded entryway to the port. Though, to be fair, he was a little more scenic than most— young, long-legged, broad-shouldered, with clear golden skin and a broad white smile.

She’d only really noticed him because he’d called out– “Hey, there!”— in Iberican, and she’d thought at first he was talking to her, but he’d been yelling at his coworker. “Can’t you fucking read?” he’d asked, and his accent had been so thick, so crisp and Homeworldy, she’d smiled despite herself. His friend had answered him, indistinct and defensive, and he’d rolled his eyes, shaken his head, and had caught her looking at him. “What kind of loser is hung-over at noon?” he’d said conspiratorially, still in the mother tongue, and it was so long since she’d heard a pure accent like that, she couldn’t help but smile at him even though she never smiled at boys.

“I don’t know,” she’d answered him in Iberican, “maybe he was just trying to live his best life.” And she’d let her gaze linger just long enough to see the delight cross his pretty young face– there weren’t many Ibericans in this sector, let alone this spaceport– before she’d turned away as she kept walking.

And here he was in this little club, in a different shirt that was clean now but still tight enough that she could see how nice his back was, and she recognized him in profile, that same gorgeous jaw that had caught her eye out on the street. He had his head tilted to listen to his friend. His friend had tattoos on his face, and Shara set her mouth; they were definitely gang tattoos, but that was about the only reason there were ever any Ibericans around here. The Fronteras had formed a union of sorts when it came to cargo-loading; they were master logisticians, and across the galaxy if you had a complicated cargo that you needed well-handled, you dealt with whichever dock space the Fronteras controlled at that spaceport– but it all intertwined with protection rackets, just like everything the gangs did, and it was only worth it some of the time, and of those times, a lot were drugs or smuggled goods.

It wasn’t that the Fronteras hadn’t helped Shara and her father out a time or two. They weren’t strictly a race-first group, but if you were Iberican they were generally friendlier to you than not. An Iberican papa and his little girl could at least count on hitching a ride somewhere, or being spared the protection fees. But they’d both been careful never to involve themselves too closely to the gang or any of its subsidiaries.

But her boy, the one who’d caught her eye, he didn’t have any visible ink. His shirt only had sleeves to the elbows; there were no markings on his forearms or hands, or on his face or neck. So she decided to chance it; he might be like her, relying on the gang’s protection to get work, but not a member himself.

“Is this you living your best life?” she asked him.

His face lit up before he even saw her, and he turned and grinned at her like she was a long-lost old friend. He was really unfairly beautiful, strong white teeth and lovely bone structure, and Shara already resented him a little for how many feelings he was making her feel despite herself. “Well,” he said, not even the slightest bit coy, and it startled her how fucking refreshing that was, “I am now!”

“You know her?” the friend said, surprised. Shara looked at him more closely; she didn’t know him but the markings on his face were familiar enough, clan affiliations within the Fronteras. She’d worked for his clan before.

“I do now,” Pretty Boy said, and extended his hand. “Kes Dameron.”

“Shara Bey,” she said, taking his hand. His hand was big and callused, and he held hers with a gentle firmness as he smiled at her. He was so tall and well-built and his deep-set hooded eyes were a dark velvet brown and his face was so perfect she wanted to smack it. What a jerk.

“She’s a pilot,” the friend said. “Worked for us before. Real hot-shot.” He winked at her. “I’m Etto.”

Shara nodded at him, and got her hand back from Kes, and it was warmer than her other hand now. “I think we met,” she said. “My papa’s still flying freighters for your bosses.”

“Oh, yeah, ol’ man Bey,” Etto said, with a spark of genuine recognition. “Well, be careful, Kes, the thing about pilots is that they fly away, yeah?”

Kes fixed him with a polite stare, impressively compelling, and Etto rolled his eyes and melted away into the crowd. He turned back to her, milder and slightly amused. “It’s not my first time off-world,” he said. “Are you thirsty?”

Oh, Shara thought, I’m thirsty all right.
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/1UFz9XF:
The only thing that could make me miss the anxiety is that it’s been replaced by this super-despair-y bone-deep feeling of worthlessness.
So now I’m still pretty sure the world is ending only now I’m also suuuuuper-embarrassed that I pointed that out earlier. Also everything I have ever said is terrible and I have surely offended everyone I’ve ever spoken to, plus this morning’s marvellous performance of being a waste of human space which surely makes it clear to anyone who ever maybe thought I was cool that I am Not.
So that’s fun. I just figured I should maybe pop in to prove I didn’t actually explode or anything, you just might not hear from me for a little bit while I try to forget.

Also I’m seeing that movie tonight so I hope it’s not terrible.

So uh. *slinks off, deeply mortified*
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/1WOK9ly:
dgleesonsource:

Domhnall Gleeson on watching Ex Machina
dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
via http://ift.tt/21FCZkv:
I had a really bizarre record-to-memory lapse for the last like 30 minutes of my day at work. I don’t know what that’s called. I knew I was doing stuff, and everything seemed normal and in fact fairly cheerful; I packed up a thing with its invoice and boxed it up and went about my business, but then later, the invoice was on the printer, and the item in question was still under the desk, and my coworker was like, what’s in the box then, and I checked and it was a totally different much more expensive item, and he’s like whoa that’s not good.

And here’s the thing, i am one hundred percent sure he handed me that item. He was present when I boxed it up, and he doesn’t remember that, but I am sure of it, I am sure, because a third person also was present and had to go get me the tape gun and we all three joked about it. I am sure. But I don’t remember exactly. And they all think I’m crazy, but, I would swear this, he handed me the thing. 

So I unboxed it and said, as I opened the box, “ha, there’s the invoice, I told you. Must’ve printed a second copy.” I pulled out the wrong item, handed it back, dumped out the packing peanuts, put the right item in, put the packing peanuts back in, and… “Where’d the invoice go?” Now, coworker didn’t see me with the invoice. I pointed it out and it was still in the box with the item. But it wasn’t among the packing peanuts I’d just dumped, wasn’t in the box, wasn’t with either the old or new items. Gone.

Either coworker is a massive troll, is more insane than I am, or I am completely batshit.

So I was so flustered I just left for the weekend without my scarf, coat, sweater, or wallet, so that’s really rad. 

Thank heavens I don’t live alone.

Now, off to get Iraqi food on the way to the movies. I’m just trying to survive until I can get to bed tonight.

Profile

dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
dragonlady7

January 2024

S M T W T F S
  1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 2627
28293031   

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated May. 12th, 2026 10:43 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios