dragonlady7

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Haha my worry is not about not being compliant with Witcher canon but rather uhhhhhh perhaps uhhhh revealing too much of uhhhh coughs nervously some dark corners of my id cough

I mean, standard erotica-writer disclaimer: I’m into stuff in fiction that I’m not into in real life, whatever sex I may or may not have in my actual life has little bearing (not none! but little) on what kind of sex I write about, and so on, and so forth. Really dudes, I’m not out here making boys somewhat-masc-aligned people cry all the time. But maybe uh. Maybe that needs to happen a lot fictionally. Don’t judge me.

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SHRIEK

ok the circumstances make this much more hilarious, honestly (I’ve been away from computer all day and Tumblr eating the ask and such)

and like, in one of my friends groups at one point the concept of fisting was a punchline as, like, the most Hilariously Kinky Thing Ever

hence the shriek

anyway that is hilarious

and not actually a bad idea. I am still thinking about the contents of Geralt’s Cheesy Romance Novels, y’all– I have not had time to work on that scene and also uh I’ve accidentally been working a little on that modern A/U I was supposed to not be doing  so I’m still like, pondering it.

Anyway that’s hilarious as a punchline and I’m sorry I don’t have time to make this a funny post but I am so tired and so extremely amused by all of this I can’t even convey it.

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No, although I did kick myself for taking one more dose– I’d felt funny and had started getting hives and my solution was to take another pill, like a dummy. But fortunately I wasn’t reacting so violently; I woke up the next morning looking horrifying, and promptly called my doctor and was given an immediate appointment and when the nurse saw me she full-body recoiled away, which was– gratifying but terrifying?

They didn’t give me a shot in the butt, either, but I got a Z-pack of steroids and a full course of another antibiotic. I only had two pills left in the first set, and I saved them for a while, thinking it would be funny to like encase them in resin and make them into earrings, but I never did. 

I’ve never before or since made a nurse literally recoil in horror from my visage, I tell you what.

It gives me something to do now, when medical professionals ask me if I have any allergies. “Sulfa!” and they’re always like “ah yes” because everyone knows you don’t just spontaneously know about an allergy, there’s always at least an element of The Hard Way in there.

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OOOOOH that’s a good one! No, I hadn’t yet worked out if I was going to have Aiden appear anywhere in the series, though I do have a Lambert POV scene that’ll be in the next Ancient Sea update (which is coming… i promise… eskel is taking his sweet fucking time falling into triss’s bed which i hadn’t thought would be quite such an epic scene but you know, choreography, and ya boy is shy it turns out though once you finally get him started he does get there) — 

but you’re right, i could throw in a flashback scene of that. 

Man Eskel really is the glue holding this family together, and Coen knows it but literally nobody else does. (Well, maybe Vesemir does, I have not at all in the slightest discovered anything from his POV yet and I am just not sure what he does or does not know about or realize.)

I’m excited to include Aiden and am also delighted that given the relative timelines of everything, I am under exactly 0 obligation to address literally the only canon event for him in the game timeline (which is dying). As far as I’m concerned, that never happens, but I also don’t have to come up with any alternative because I’m just not going that late in the timeline. 

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[Tumblr crosspost of me answering an anonymous ask containing the title text]

You know, I would, even now, except. I slowed down on PF when they were like “oh our definition of unacceptable pornography is that we’ll know it when we see it”, which like, literally everyone who’s been on the Internet more than about a damn week is like wow that’s a bad call, and then I stopped altogether when they had some TOS update that kind of crystallized that, but I’d go back and post the spiders story just for old time’s sake. But. 

 I literally can’t remember my login. Like… blank space in my brain where it should be, staring at the login window like. welp. 

I’m taking that as a sign. 

Sorry, PF. You were a great idea, and I tried, but then you decided to be weirdly super Anti about Problematic Content (we don’t need hard-and-fast rules, we’ll just rely on torches and pitchforks whenever anyone gets upset! this always works and is never weaponized against the marginalized among us!) and my in-between-X no-generation-name ass is too old and tired for that kind of bullshit. Enjoy y’all’s drama. I genuinely would have leapt in with both feet ten years ago but I have Seen Too Much and Don’t Have The Time anymore.

 I am not even being an ass, I am whole-hearted and genuine in this. I know a community is what you make it and listen I have toiled in those mines and I know from bitter experience, it doesn’t fucking matter how hard you work to build a community, if you are not ironclad about best practices for your TOS there will be bad actors who come in and mean-spiritedly co-opt the whole thing and you will have absolutely nothing you can do about it (I mean, hell, they’ll do it anyway, they do it to everything eventually, it’s just that you’ve got to have a TOS that can withstand it, and PF does not), and everything turns to ashes and a whole bunch of people get hurt and if you’re lucky you get to save the decade or so of work you put into it as little isolated files on your computer minus all hyperlinked content and images and minus all the people you loved so much, and if you’re unlucky it’s just all gone and that’s that, thanks Warriors for Innocence or whatfuckingever it is this time. 

They’re going to come for you, and I’m sorry, the path you’ve chosen isn’t going to save you.

I am genuinely sorry. But I am also cutting my losses. 

I’ve archived everything on Dreamwidth. It’s not sexy and nobody uses it much but it’s also survived and has a solid and transparent TOS that’s withstood bad-faith challenges repeatedly already. 

(It wasn’t that long ago I went through my DW friendslist and manually deleted the read permissions of all the LJ friends it auto-imported who went silent ten years ago now, and I literally cried at how many of them I have never found again anywhere else on the Internet. I’m sorry, Maggie, I love you, Julie, I miss you, Hannah, I don’t know if you survived, Meg, I’ll never know what happened to you but you were so important to me for so long, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.)

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I’ve heard a lot of theories– it could be for a vending machine, a storage unit, a motorcycle or bike lock, etc.

I have no way of knowing what it’s to! Only that it’s almost certain that what happened is that this same person rummaged a bunch of cars in my neighborhood, probably stole that keychain out of another car, and discarded it in mine, either on purpose or by accident.

There is no way I’m going to be able to find that keychain’s owner. And so whoever it is, whatever poor schmuck it really belongs to, that person is going to have to make a very expensive call to a locksmith.

I was going to call the cops and ask about it but I just don’t have time and let’s be real, I can’t make a phone call to literally save my own life, I once got arrested for not being able to Adult properly. I am not calling the cops because I found something in my car that someone might want back, on the off-chance that they too will call the cops. I’m just not.

So I’m stuck with this bitter certainty that this thing I possess is something some other poor innocent badly needs back, but I have no way of reuniting it with its owner.