teashoesandhair:teashoesandhair:Nothing says ‘vici

does look JUST like this only with white on her chest

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teashoesandhair https://teashoesandhair.tumblr.com/post/636215472654811136 :

teashoesandhair https://teashoesandhair.tumblr.com/post/612286127045541888 :

Nothing says ‘vicious hunter’ quite like loudly watching a pigeon from the comfy vantage point of a sofa and hitting yourself in the eyeball repeatedly with your own tail

Simply devastated that this now has 13,000 notes and no-one knows that my little idiot cat is named Poo

oh gosh i’m up at 5 by myself and my cat Chita, who looks exactly like this, is sitting on the desk with me, and i saw this video and unmuted it for her and she noticed it and FREAKED OUT and checked behind the monitor for the rest of the cat.

A++ would recommend, also sorry Chita for blowing your tiny walnut mind but I so sorely needed that giggle.

(She has forgiven me and is purring to herself on the corner of the desk.) (Your picture was not posted)

arnovictor:#he protec, he attac, but most importantly he cares

caring too much and it's incurable

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arnovictor https://arnovictor.tumblr.com/post/190951119191/he-protec-he-attac-but-most-importantly-he :

he protec, he attac, but most importantly he cares

(Your picture was not posted)

Geralt’s drama-dowsing dick

3, aiden lives, geralt of rivia

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astroloquacious https://astroloquacious.tumblr.com/ replied to your post Fic Update: New Work https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/638352500044496896/fic-update-new-work-dusty-corridors Still 100% here for the accurate younger-brother-dragging-older-brother roasting of Geralt’s amazing drama-dowsing dick.

😂 drama-dowsing dick yes that’s it, that is exactly what all of Geralt’s Protagonist Shit looks like from the perspective of everyone who knows him .

Anyway I figured a reply-reply would be more entertaining than a daytime reblog of my new fic post. I posted it super late last night because my poor has-holes-in-it brain was taking forever to choogle* through the process of coming up with a title and tags and I’m still not sure I tagged it right.

Dusty Corridors https://archiveofourown.org/works/28276716 is what I eventually titled it, on AO3, and probably if you were going to read it you know about it, but– you know, if you were thinking about reading it but were like “ah I never played Witcher 3 I won’t know what’s going on,” I am here to tell you that this chapter features several paragraphs of Lambert disorganizedly and distractedly recounting the events of the last several years to his boyfriend Aiden who has been in a dungeon for three years and has no idea what the fuck is going on, and Lambert’s… not right exactly but he’s not wrong either, so if you’re a Netflix fan but have been eyeing some good good Witcher 3 fic to tide you over I’ll humbly self-rec myself here because it’ll give you the general gist, but distractedly and from the vantage point of sitting in Aiden’s lap and crying.

I’m just saying. Then you could probably read a bunch of real juicy stuff. Once you take that lil plunge. I’m just saying, LOL.

I have officially made 2020 surpass my fic output of 2015, and that’s keen, and in 9k more words I’d be past 2014 too, but there’s Yuletide reveals and such and I don’t participate in Yuletide so IDK for sure how it works or when but I know people will be busy with Bespoke Obscure Shit and also real-life holidaying but I might post more shit to AO3 anyway because time isn’t real and I Need Some Fuckin Serotonin and suchlike and whatnot, so I’ll see y’all if I see y’all.

(Geralt will be in the next chapter, too, if that’s an enticement. LOL.)

official-lucifers-child:mtndewbajablast:what emotion is this supposed to make me feel because...

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mtndewbajablast https://mtndewbajablast.tumblr.com/post/636641951788171264 :

what emotion is this supposed to make me feel because goddamn this is a lot of emotions and i cannot tell what they are (Your picture was not posted)

new work: Shorts

don't even know anymore

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so this is kind of a crackfic I wrote in a fugue state this morning and it’s not seasonal but like whatever man. I think it’s probably funny but I’m not a great judge of that at the moment. Apologies if it’s super fucking weird. I wasn’t gonna post stuff today but here I am.

It’s technically part of a series that has no other works in it yet so I’m not tagging it with anything. Also the specifics of the A/U aren’t relevant, so for this purposes, it’s just sort of a generic modern A/U.

The plot is that Ciri has outgrown her gym uniform, and her gym teacher said something shitty about it, so Aiden’s wearing it, because his skinny lanky ass fits into it and it’s hilarious. That’s it, that’s the story.

on AO3: Shorts https://archiveofourown.org/works/28297152

Aiden was wearing sneakers and mid-calf athletic socks, and then there was an unreasonable expanse of bare leg, pasty-white from lack of sun with an uneven kind of halo of blond hair standing out all around, and he was poured into the tiniest shorts Geralt had ever seen on an adult man, and then there was an expanse of pasty-white torso, and then stretched across his ribcage and nearly bursting under the strain of his shoulders was a shirt Geralt vaguely recognized as Ciri’s. It was pink and had sequins emblazoned across the front and said, in script, Cutie.

“Ah shit,” Aiden said, and then collapsed into paroxysms of helpless laughter.

“Hi Dad,” Ciri attempted, but it came out in a strangled shriek as she broke into laughter as well.

“What the fuck,” Geralt said, staring in bafflement.

[cut for sadness]

So like two hours ago Mom texted us a photo of Dad’s urn on the dining room table with the caption Dad’s home for Christmas and I have been so fucking sad ever since. I’m so fucking sad you guys. I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sad. :(

update: farmsister just texted a photo of mom resignedly cheers-ing the camera with a cocktail, and captioned it “first Manhattan she’s had to make herself in years”, because Dad was super into hospitality and always, always, always mixed the drinks. 😭

This fucking sucks. (Your picture was not posted)

whew

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man sorry guys i got real Bad for a while this afternoon (she’d put the urn! at his place at the table! MOM WHY well i can’t blame her) but i feel much better. watching some_stars https://tmblr.co/m0l4iDjxkB7VuWm6d1vXtOQ stream Witcher 3 on Twitch helped a bunch, eating a lot of cheese and some Tater Tots helped a bunch, getting a spate of lovely comments from people who were willing to spend some of their Christmas Eve (or Thursday night, whichever) reading my shit helped a lot, and the hefty two-ounce pour of bourbon helped a lot. Lots of things.

Tomorrow will be fun, Dude’s family (ok his mom, who is lovely, and her sister, who is extremely entertaining, 82 and from Old Country), and her niece, who is like 50 and dryly witty, and the niece’s dog, who is a german shepherd mix with A Lot Of Energy. All of us have been extremely isolated and are coming briefly together to mingle our pod and then going our separate way– i’m the only one who’s been out of the house basically at all, and i haven’t had my mask off inside another person’s house since thanksgiving. so.

And then Saturday I can go see MM and DF and the BABIES who are of course not babies, and then Sunday I can see my mom. Zoom funeral NYE. We’ll make this work. It’ll be a thing. It’ll be okay. (Your picture was not posted)