dragonlady7 | Dec. 17th, 2017

Dec. 17th, 2017

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man my sweet angel baby cat is having a great fucking day. I feel good for her, like I’m making up for the Monstrousness of taking her to the vet Wednesday.

Firstly, we fed her early this morning because it was a weekend. Then she napped on a heat vent, which was great. Then, for no reason, I opened a can of tuna and gave her some, which never happens but which she inexplicably expects every time a can opener is operated in the house. (The puzzling part is that her cat food cans are pull-tab, so we don’t use the can opener on cat food. But, when my sister’s cat lived here, she taught Chita that tuna cans are the Most Amazing Thing. It’s the only human food Chita cares for at all, and now she thinks all cans that you open with an opener are tuna. I often present her the tomato paste or bean can I just opened, and this does not deter her from reacting the same way every time.)

Then she napped, and then my dude took a nap so she could sleep on his arm, which was great, snuggled right up by his face. And then, and then, get this, he got up and I took a nap, so she was able to move onto my arm and sleep on my face. She lay with her chin in my hand for a very long time, purring quietly.

Then she got out of bed and went into the living room and found my dude, who was sitting on the couch, and climbed up onto his belly and did a trust-fall onto his arm, and slept like that for another hour.

Maybe she’s feeling poorly from the antibiotics but I really think she’s just having a great fucking day, for real.
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Man nothing like a real bad cold snap to make you feel like 27 degrees and fluffy-snowing is a “beautiful” day but it sure was beautiful today.
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lazaefair replied to your post “Again, I’m not going to publish an anon ask that’s mostly just…”

Oh good, so they’ve been sending those asks to someone other than me, too. I’m a little jealous, I didn’t get the distinction of Chief Racist in their tirade against me.

Oh, I made it into a title, they were just saying it was all my fault and I was the source of it.

Like, I get that it would be super gross to dismiss people’s reasonable complaints of racism, but I honestly haven’t seen any? Not major ones? Minor stuff, which I’ve agreed with, but overall the shit people have hated about the movie was largely not primarily race-related?

I haven’t looked deliberately for critiques, though, and it’s perfectly possible that I wouldn’t have picked up on something, but there are so many people whose opinions I respect who absolutely would not miss something major pertaining to that issue, and that’s part of the reason I have the follow list I do, to make sure I would have seen something like that? I mean, at least to the point that I would have been aware of it to be making a point of going against it and dismissing it and trying to silence it by expressing my contrary opinion. Which was the apparent argument. (Leaving aside the question of how I, a sub-1k-follower blog on the tunglr dot com, expressing an opinion on my interweb blog, would actually have any kind of genuine silencing affect on a contrary opinion?)

I don’t devote a ton of time to haters, per se, seeking out contrary opinions to get mad about, and such. Some people really will bend themselves into knots finding something to get mad about, that’s just a thing, and in many cases that’s how that person’s mind works, it’s not like they’re doing it maliciously. I do have a few people like that I keep tabs on because if they get bent out of shape about something there’s often an underlying real issue that’s super important to be aware of. I get it.

Other times, it’s a perfectly reasonable thing that everyone else is just brushing off, that is genuinely Problematic and actually hurtful.

But a while back a group of people went hardcore after a couple of FinnPoe writers, and as far as I could tell went the absolute hardest after the most dedicated fluff writers, and it really silenced a big chunk of the FinnPoe fluff fandom. Which sucks, because (among other things) then people look at stats and get super upset that there are so many more Kylux than FinnPoe fics, and–

well, it comes down to what anon’s argument seems to have been in that last ask, which is that media shouldn’t have representation because it’s going to be racist.

So if you trace all of it back to that source, that’s the fundamental premise of it, and…

no, I can’t really abide that.

So I can’t really engage in any further productive discussion about it.

So, block, and move on. I love a good-faith debate, but #1 good-faith debates don’t open asks with “Bitch” and close with “fuck you”, and #2 I can’t accept the fundamental premise, which is that daring to include characters of color in my work makes me racist, and praising works that include characters of color is my racist way of silencing viewers who would criticize it. There can’t really be an agreement there, so I can’t continue a debate in good faith.

(I am terrified that I’m getting it wrong. I am. I reread some of my stuff and cringe, because I know how I meant it, and mostly readers were there with me, but yeah, I could do better– given infinite time and attention, you can always do better. But either I stop trying or I move on, and moving on is what I’m trying to do. You just have to believe that you’re telling a good story and doing more good than harm while you’re learning. I have to believe that, or I wouldn’t have anything.)
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thesacredreznor replied to your post “Caturday”

i’m so happy or you and chita! a very good cat day!

ughhh she followed it up by spitting out the second pill so I had to cram it down her gullet

and the miscalculation i made was to let Dude be the one to restrain her

he’s six three

so he held her up against his shoulder and then my five foot six inch ass is trying to basically slam-dunk like a basketball down the tooth-filled gullet of an angry cat

it did not go well until i literally made Dude kneel on the floor so I could reach the cat’s mouth

but we made it

we’re trying again by mushing the pill up into her food better. before i just drenched it in tuna water and buried it and she picked it out to ignore.

ha ha dude just mushed the pill up into her food and now she won’t touch the food.

Sigh. I guess this is going to be Disasterpiece Theater after all.
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sugarspiceandcursewords replied to your post “Again, I’m not going to publish an anon ask that’s mostly just…”

Dear gods, who is this incoherent anon? I just don’t understand people sometimes.

I think that’s kind of the *real* sticking point of all of it, is that I’m trying to forensically reconstruct what on earth the real argument is, because the ask was mostly the f-word over and over again, interspersed with the word “racism” and I believe the phrase “how dare you” at some point.

Like, I’m not going to say you can’t have an argument except in perfect grammar, that’s just dumb and classist and so on. But I do need to be able to tell what your actual point is.

So anyway that was my best guess as to what it was all about. I wasn’t going to publish the asks themselves because they were just abusive language and I know I, a fairly non-traumatized person, tend to find that shit kind of triggery and I get upset when I see other people’s abusive anon asks published, so I wasn’t going to pay that forward, as it were.
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A post shared by Bridget Kelly (@bomberqueen17) on Dec 17, 2017 at 9:23am PST

This is the view I have of my sewing machine. She’s so Helpful. I guess I’m either forgiven for the whole pilling ordeal, or this is her Revenge, I’m not sure. I did startle her at the end though, which was pretty funny.
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aimmyarrowshigh replied to your post “Again, I’m not going to publish an anon ask that’s mostly just…”

i somehow bet that i’m considered the Chief Racist by some because i write poe/rey and got called the k-slur for it in 5 separate asks (all clearly by the same anon though) last week

oh, no, it might be you, I did attempt to beta a story by you that got posted recently, it could be that. I’ve had so little involvement in fandom lately beyond posting assorted of my own crap, it’s perfectly likely because that’s basically the last thing I did where I attempted to be useful to anyone, pretty much.

Oh no I am super bummed for you. Ohmigod, block, baby, block IPs, block all the IPs. Ugh.

Well, that laid to rest my last worry that this might be a person with any kind of legit beef though. I mean, incoherent people might still have something genuine underlying the problem, but if there’s not even anything underlying it more than a fucking ship preference, I got no time for that.

I wish I’d done a better job beta-ing that story and I wish I had time to reread it! I haven’t read anything over like 2k in for goddamn ever. That was the weirdest part for me about that ask, because I am so uninvolved in fandom, I am so bad about reccing other people and beta-ing and even reaching out for readers for my own stuff, I wish I were closer with so many people, not least you! I’m just not all that outgoing and have no real gifts for making connections and giving back to fandom in useful ways, you know? And it’s winter so most of my brain has crawled down a hole and it’s easier to feel sorry for myself than try to, you know, reach out.

I almost wrote back at first, “Bitch, you think I have friends, you give me way more credit than I deserve” but that would have been so dismissive of the people who’ve been good enough to read and rec and comment on my stuff, when I’d only be meaning it as a self-burn.

Still, though. The fact that my first thought was, “they think I have friends, OMG” indicates to me that I really, really, really ought to try to reach out more and be more generally useful in the fandom, so. Maybe there’s a New Year’s Resolution for me.
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This is the bag tutorial I’m following to teach myself how to insert zippers etc. and just to get something done– I know enough about sewing that none of the stuff here is like, revolutionary, and I ostensibly could figure it out on my own, but having a kind of sew-along really helps me not get bogged down in things like “how big should it be” and “can i turn it inside out and if so which part do i leave open” , and it minimizes things like “oh shit i just made these pants into a tube by sewing the wrong two surfaces together why am i dumb”.

I also sort of feel like I can do an end-run around my total inability to get things done on my own. if I follow instructions on a website it’s almost like having someone working with me, and then I can do it and not second-guess myself. (Seriously, me doing major projects on my own often ends with me sitting motionless in the middle of a room strewn with debris, mentally reduced to wondering why do i exist, just for having the audacity of thinking I could do a multi-step process toward an uncertain outcome without a bulletproof plan and reason why. To say that I have failures of motivation is to severely understate matters.)

haha ha this sat in my drafts for two months and now i’m down to the wire and misplaced the zipper i was gonna use for the one, and finally finished the embroidered panel for the other, and tbh i just don’t even know. let’s try it. let’s make this work. please, brain, let me finish this fucking project.
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We’re not on the hyperthyroid meds yet. I have some hope that those tiny pills will go down easier, but I dunno.

These are antibiotics, and they’re large “flavored” pills she’s theoretically supposed to not object to. But, even soaked in tuna water and covered in fish oil, she just licks them off and won’t eat them. So I have a feeling that flavored pills won’t do it for her.

She’s not exactly picky, but– she won’t even eat cat treats reliably, she just isn’t very adventurous.

She’s currently on hunger strike entirely, it seems; her bowl is full of crunchies, but coincidentally it’s a new kind– we buy the 3.5-lb bags, and each time, Dude buys a different kind, rotating through three different flavors, because she seems to like a change now and then. (He does the grocery shopping more often than me; I would not have done the same in his place but he’s here more, he’s sort of in charge of her food, I didn’t think to question him.) But we’re not sure she’s had this one before. She’s never objected to new crunchies before, but the bowl is sitting there untouched and she’s spent the day yelling at us.

Is it the antibiotics making her lose her appetite, or is she sincerely telling us that this new food is Unacceptable?

Either way it’s really unfortunate timing, I feel like if it were me I would not have opened that bag but would have gone out and gotten another of the one she’s used to, but. It wasn’t up to me, and I didn’t forsee a problem either.

Oy. Cats. No big deal, until they are.
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You would think I’d be inspired to write some TLJ fic and beat the rush or whatever, but instead, when I open up a document, all I want is to continue Lost Kings, because I’ve finally hit the point she’s joining the Rebellion.

Shara breathed, looked into the holomirror. It didn’t matter. None of the people here needed to know that. She wasn’t a hormonal mess of new motherhood who missed her baby so much it was like a constant stab in her gut. She wasn’t a bereaved woman who’d finally found a family and lost it. She wasn’t a little girl farther away from her father than she’d ever been before, and in much more danger. She wasn’t an anxious wife whose husband had been tortured with hallucinations of her face and was far away facing danger of his own.

None of that mattered. None of these people needed to know that.

She was Shara Bey, daughter of Sento, and she’d been a pilot for ten years now, and she was the best goddamn pilot currently flying, and a bad bitch besides. Nobody could fuck with her and nobody was going to try. She’d been going into new places and earning her way by pluck and skill for a decade now. This was no different.
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amiddleearththemedbarinhogsmeade:

You know what I wish we talked about more? How difficult it is to exist in nonnormative ways. We’re always talking about how awesome it is that we get to be creative and find ways to do things better that fit and work for us better - and that’s true! But it’s also so damn difficult, y'all

Like it’s that whole “you can’t be what you can’t see” thing where yeah that’s more or less true, but you’re not strictly limited to the set of scripts other people have made available; you can make up your own, but that level of creativity requires a lot of time and effort and goddamn work

Like, my gender nonconformity didn’t just effortlessly materialize in the form of clothes and shoes and a haircut that actually fits and works for me. It took a lot of damn work to get here. A lot of energy and thought poured into this creative process and more than a few cries in various dressing rooms.

My relationship with the person I’m dating who is also a-spec doesn’t just happen. We’ve had to communicate a whole helluva lot about where our boundaries are. Which like, yeah, sure, you should do that in any relationship, but I don’t think it’s widely understood the Level of communication this requires. You don’t just get to use the pre-written scripts on how to be in a relationship and show affection for the person you like - you have to evaluate each and every goddamn one of ‘em to see if they fit and work for the two of you personally.

And what’s more! Is that it’s not just communicating boundaries, but also you gotta figure out where the fuck even are your own boundaries??????? Which is so fucking hard, goddamn. Like. I literally cannot tell whether I actually honest-to-Jesus want to kiss them sometimes or whether that’s just my brain trying to follow the script I’ve read and watched hundreds of thousands of times. Because lemme tell ya, my feelings may be confused, but I know damn well that this is the part where you’re supposed to kiss the person you’re dating. (And not just in a sexual, making out sort of way. Like. Little kisses to show affection, say goodbye, say hello, that sort of thing. It’s all weird for me, and it’s really! Hard to determine why that is!!! Esp when you’re not actively repulsed but also not super into it either! When it’s somewhere on the spectrum between neutral and good, it’s so. damn. hard. to tell when it’s leaning good bc you like it and it feels good or it’s just that you want to want it because you know you’re “”“”“”“supposed to”“”“”“” like it)

And anyways, shout out to all my nonconforming babes who are working their asses off figuring out how to be themselves and just. Fucking exist. It’s hard as hell out there when you go off script, and like. I see you. And you’re doing great
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