Jan. 1st, 2017

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Aw this is the cat at the Shaker Heritage Society, who back in the day, my grandmother used to take home with her when the facility was closed on holiday breaks and such. 

Gram’s been gone for years, and I have actually been to visit the place fairly recently. 18 years, not bad for a kitty; couldn’t believe he was still around.

Goodbye, Chief Mouser! He was a lovely big boy who was a major pain in the ass to get into a carrier. 
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Sort of liveblogging A New Hope. I wrote this on my phone while we watched the ORIGINAL 1977 THEATRICAL RELEASE.

It does not contain any very great revelations, but it is, I hope, mildly amusing.

I forgot how wooden the opening is. Also the wipe transitions.

*The Jawa ship thing full of droids is giving me LIFE. Look at them! Dude in a garbage can! I love this.
* Obi-Wan is so full of shit! He told me he wanted you to have this! When, bitch? Even if you admit that Lucas hadn’t really written Ep 3, or something, when was Anakin going to have had the time to say something like that?? The whole thing’s a crock?
*Luke is like nine years old holy shit
*That speeder totally has greenscreened wheels. None of the supposedly hovering craft ever lift off or set down, ever ever. They just– exist. 
*WOW cutting a dude’s arm off in a bar fight is super low key Ben! What a great way of problem-solving, when you just demonstrated you can make people change their minds! Yikes man.
*HANDIwork hah great pun there Han
* Huh not only did Han shoot first but Greedo didn’t shoot at all
*Suddenly they have radios! Sorry commlinks.
* Say “where could he be” a couple more times Luke
*I had completely forgotten what Obi-Wan was supposed to be doing. Why are the controls for the tractor beam on a weird pillar you have to tiptoe to access while hanging over a random death chasm? What kind of design sense does that make? Galen clearly had a lot of issues he was working through as he laid this whole thing out.
* They just used the same shot of Leia three times in a row. She ducks out of the doorway to shoot the Stormtroopers, they show the Stormtroopers reacting, cut back, the shot repeats, three times. Amazing.

* The kiss for luck makes zero sense narratively or character-wise or– anything

*OK Luke and han totally banged
*OK R2 and 3PO totally banged

*Thanks, Wedge

* They came from– behind hell of a last line my guy

*Darth Vader flying the tie looks like he’s unscrewing a bottle
*Seriously the whole scene he’s uncapping a flask or something
* “I can’t shoot these little fuckers for shit I’m just gonna drink fellas”
* “Yeah I got a respirator on but there’s an attachment so I can just pour booze straight into my gullet, you don’t think i’ve been sober a day in my life do you? Not since the Lava Incident”

* This movie mostly doesn’t make sense? You just kind of – get the idea?

Leia’s reactions are great in the scene where they destroy Alderaan. Arguably that’s the only acting that takes place in this entire fucking movie. The rest is just bewildered people reacting. 

Alec Guinness clearly hated this entire movie.

Han was written so incredibly casually misogynistic, it’s sort of– astonishing really. I guess it was the seventies. I guess we’ve come a long way. It’s so interesting to me, though, that they clearly cast Carrie because she was so mouthy– that was exactly what they needed! A cute, strong-featured, lip-glossed, shiny-haired honey with a really powerful voice and the presence to believably blow the shit out of a bunch of extras with a blaster. She’s such a good character– and there’s so little support for it in the script that she could’ve gone badly wrong. I dunno, I really feel like Carrie did a lot with what she had.

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Omg you mean Y Tú Mamá También is still in your future for the first time? You lucky duck! That film was so formative for me. The first time I had the inkling that people could be bisexual. A really cool snapshot of a very specific place and time. And Maribel Verdú has been, like, life goals/wife goals since I was 14.

see this next year is looking up already!
I don’t know when I figured out that people could be bisexual. I know for a long time I hated the word and wouldn’t use it because I’d only heard it used unkindly…
I wish hot dudes making out had been my intro to it!
But it’s never too late for that sort of thing.
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(Have you watched the Diego Luna mezcal interview?)

whaaaaat noooooo???

(is this now a diego luna appreciation blog? you guys i’m demisexual i’m not really even sure what sort of attraction i have for diego luna i sort of just want him to tell me things earnestly and like, not actually look at me at all. He would probably be really fun at a quiet house party. sometime i should get tipsy and talk about my weird relationships with attraction especially as it pertains to attractive celebrity types. it’s so much easier to just be like “yes me too” when other people tag pictures with things like “would put in mouth” and “wish he would [x] me” but that’s almost never what it is! )

(more parenthetical asides, somewhat tipsy, under the cut, since it is not particularly relevant to the actual point of the post but my brain connected it)

(For example, I mostly just want to go to a party Oscar Isaac is at and witness him animatedly telling a story; in my racier moments I consider what it might be like to touch his hair. My deepest fantasy involves speaking directly to him, and that’s about as far as I can take it. John Boyega, I mostly just regard in a state of baffled awe that such a conglomeration of anatomy and razor wit and sunshine can exist in one human. I have no desire to touch him or to have him touch me, which is the case for pretty much any attractive celebrity.)

(Except Salma Hayek. I would have incredibly thorough sex with Salma Hayek. This is not usual for me. I definitely think about putting my [x] on her [x] and [x]ing. I imagine that her skin tastes fantastic. Then I get really confused because I don’t know what to do with those feelings.)

(Funny, no, given how raunchy and actively filthy some of the porn I write is? And I do have a perfectly fine and probably quite normal sex life! I just have a huge disconnect when it comes to actually considering, like, actual strangers touching my body, or vice-versa, like, with their actual physical self, I don’t– no thank you?)

(Sometimes I feel like a walking personification of the “that sounds fake but okay” meme.)
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I’m so glad we have different and diverse latino characters inside the rebellion. Like even though Cassian and Poe are generations apart. Disney and SW could have given us the same sort of idealism in both rebels. Instead we have the same thread of “there is light and there is dark, and we must strive to keep hope alive” but in different vehicles.

Poe and Cassian both grew up with the Rebellion on their backs. Poe is canonically one of the finest Rebel pilots in current time (squad leader and known enough to be captured and tortured by Ren and The First Order) and Cassian is an Intelligence Officer (and I’m assuming a high ranking one given the sensitivity of the mission.) But they approach their duties so differently.

Poe taking Finn to Leia and saying hey he has information. He defected and helped me out and I think we could use him.


Cassian with Jyn who is a means to an end, who in normal circumstances (not against a freaking rumored planet destroying weapon) would not trust her at all beyond the job.

Even comparing their first scenes!! Poe with BB8 telling the droid to go and keep the plans and they’ll meet again (the clear affection and priorities to the rebellion on keeping the info safe) and then getting captured and the “do i go first do you?” Mouthing off scene.

Cassian in the same position, getting compromised by stormtroopers with his source of info and shooting him while pulling the wool over the dude to calm him down before escaping???

What a contrast. And yet, Cassian still had his priorities in order. The information leak wouldn’t survive beyond him. He got what he needed for the good of the rebel alliance by doing something unsavory. And it was his first scene!! A purposeful set up to introduce him and the story as a more serious wartime story of rebellion without giving up on that hope that SW keeps pushing.

Also!!! One with an accent and the other without!!!!

Even their droids! Yeah, they’re both pilots and depend on their droids to make navigation easier but ohmygod. BB8 having a custom paint job and whizzing by to greet Poe when they reunite versus K2SO, a reprogrammed imperial droid who looks just like any other (and i mean they highlighted that with Jyn shooting one in Jedha) who has a sort of snarky affection is deep but not really ‘shown’ relationship with Cassian.

I’m just really grateful to whoever is making these casting decisions. Hopefully we get some latinx women next.

(Next up: Leia, Chirrut and their homes destroyed without properly being grieved. And romance?)

This is so important honestly: it’s like the whole Brooklyn 99 thing, where one of the blessings of having more than one latinx character or one black character, is that each one doesn’t have to represent all things to all people of that ethnicity. 

Cassian and Poe are both great characters and good people fighting for what they believe in, but they’re in such different places in their lives and come from such different backgrounds, and honestly to have them grouped together into the “hot latino pilots in Star Wars ayyy” thing is so baffling to me – the differences are fascinating and important. 

(Plus, incidentally, this is why I don’t think Cassian would be a particular hero of Poe’s growing up – just because they’re both latinx, doesn’t mean Poe has to look up to him. Clearly he’d respect the sacrifice and the difficult choices Cassian had to make, but their personalities and ideals are just fundamentally distinct – there’s a reason why we’ve got Poe canonically idolizing his mother, the daring pilot, his father the “bravest and kindest soldier” he’s ever known, and Leia, who represents the ideals of the New Republic and justice and democracy, etc. Those are things Poe’s been shown to value – doing what you have to do and sacrificing your morality in the name of saving the galaxy hasn’t really been part of his story, yet. 

I think as Poe’s journey progresses, maybe, and the Resistance faces a more difficult time when more questionable choices have to be made in the name of the greater good, that’s when he might have a need for the story of Cassian Andor. )

#sorry to hijack your post op#it’s a great post!#i just felt like rambling a little too#poe dameron#cassian andor#tfa#(also not to get too much into these weeds but)#rogue one#cassian is played by a mexican actor and poe is played by an immigrant kid#when we talk about their accents being different and their stories being different#their stories are even somewhat reflective of that as well#cassian is fighting corruption and supremacy and has been involved in a street level rrevolution since childhood#poe dameron is like – a kid who grew up with stability and hope and the expectations of parents who fought to give him all of that#and is now finding it threatened from without and within#the latin american experience vs the latin american immigrant experience have commonalities but are not the same EXACTLY#so when we’re talking about one having a latin accent and the other not that’s not so much a flaw w/r/t poe#it’s a symbol of how different their stories are via @morethanonepage
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Can you show us the bullet journal? I’ve been sort of in awe of people who even attempt that for ages, it seems like Next Level life skills somehow.

I saw things about it in passing and was like “that seems precious” and also “I love to-do lists on paper and doodle a lot so maybe I should do that” but I also was pretty hardcore like “I would obsess over that for a week and then abandon it” so. That last thing is about 100% likely to happen. 

I don’t know. I have trouble understanding the descriptions as people talk about the ways they do it. Everything has to have a jargony name, and I can’t really follow most of the discussions. 

And even though everyone says “it doesn’t have to be perfect!” clearly the biggest demographic talking about it online are people who are doing it for Instagram likes, so literally every image is of the most excruciatingly fastidious hand-lettered layouts by people with phenomenal handwriting and fifteen $10 pens neatly arranged on their desk. 

Bro. I can hand-letter, sure, if you give me an example font and like 20 minutes, but my natural handwriting looks like I’m in the midst of a seizure, and not in any of the quirky-cute ways that the Instagram-precious seem to idolize. Also I have hardcore OCD about wasting paper, and can’t fucking handle the all-white-space layouts a lot of these people favor. No way. When I was in elementary school one of my teachers took to folding sheets of paper and telling me I wasn’t allowed to cram answers tightly: each question had to be answered in its own square between the folds. Because otherwise I’d just jam everything up into a corner illegibly. And I could not handle it. There were tears. There were meltdowns.

(When I graduated college my mother confessed that she’d always known I was learning-disabled but never pursued diagnosis because she felt like it would discourage me from achieving. Fucking thanks, Mom, you know there are tools I could have been using this whole time, but no, I’ll just never get anything done ever in my life because I can’t get my shit together because you were worried I’d be discouraged in fucking high school.)

So far there’s not much to look at, but I lost my shit slightly doing calendar layouts. I did just– three pages, four months on each page, of a grid calendar-style, and a problem I always have with calendars is that say the 1st is on a Saturday, there’s this whole line of blank squares that are the previous month? I can’t reconcile those with the previous month.

So, I ran the calendars together. So they’re all one grid. No weird repeated half-weeks.

I hate it. I can’t follow it either. 

The problem is really that I can’t understand calendars.

ANYWAY. This is all going to be a massive experiment in just how learning-disabled I really am, because a lot of this shit I can ignore or compensate for or just work around in daily life, but when you lay it out in one place like that, you can’t help but notice: I’m really fucking learning-disabled. Holy shit.

So I have a feeling I’m not going to be getting the usual self-introspection things out of this.

I need to find an eraser and get rid of the massive wad of pencil lines I used to figure out how to make grid layouts, but after I do that, I’ll post some pictures. 

My attempts at this are definitely not going to be Next Level anything, but I come home from work every single day with literally five or six half-sheets of paper upon which I have scribbled to-do lists that I never follow up on ever, so maybe at least I can put them into a book and if nothing else re-read them the next day instead of writing the same things on the lists?
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Carrie was an utter gift.

I normally don’t like to add to posts, but this is just one of my favorite things about her. I guess Carrie Fisher just carried glitter everywhere, because she did the same thing at Indiana Comic Con when she was there in 2015. She actually kinda got in trouble because she was taking so long with each person who came for autographs because she wanted to “baptize them” with her glitter. She wanted to make sure that everyone who saw her got some glitter.

tldr; she was truly a gift and i sobbed at work when i got a notification that she passed, and i’m crying now as i type this.

So what if we all picked a day and wore glitter for her? 

Next May the 4th seems appropriate.  Dedicate Star Wars day to the original princess?


I am so on board with glitter for Carrie day.

She talked about how her therapist (I think it was in her book Shockaholic but I can’t check right now) always knew when she was having an ‘off’ time in her head depending on how much glitter she’d show up wearing to appointments. It was her way of making the world sparkle and shine even when it felt dark. It made her feel better. Evidently she wanted to share that with others.

I purposely went out and bought glittery body dust in her honor. I’m going to welcome in 2017 lit up like a firework. Ain’t none of y'all going to ever be able to hug me ever again without getting covered in glitter. It’s on. We’re doing this. And on May 4th we’re going to make the world shine.

For Carrie.


It’s gonna be a long time before I’m okay about losing her. :(

I want to put more glitter in my life to honor her, and this ethos, but I don’t want to get shit about shedding glitter everywhere so I’m just going to real quick share this thing I learned a while back.

Here’s how to put glitter on things you own so that it won’t come off. So, if you want glittery shoes, or a glittery handbag, or a glittery pencil case or something. In situations where you can’t put glitter onto your person, or where you know you’ll never have the spoons to reapply, this is a way to make sure you have some goddamn light in your life. Do this to an object you frequently have with you, and you’ll never be without. (I fully support body glitter etc., I just know I can’t commit to cosmetics, they just never get applied and then I feel bad.)

Mod Podge. Which is basically just Elmer’s Glue and water– PVA glue, is the key thing. Get a film canister or other resealable small container. (The little containers takeout sauces sometimes come in will work, though they won’t stay good as long.) Mix equal parts glitter and glue/Mod Podge in the little container. Mix it really well with a paintbrush or stick. Apply it well to your object. Let dry between coats. More coats means thicker layer means gap-free coverage. Finish by putting a coat of just glue or Mod Podge over the top. Let dry well. For things that might get wet, there are formulations that dry and become waterproof; I have little experience with these but plan to try one.

I did this to my rollerskates some years back, and wore them for derby, and they held up (that’s a low-moisture, high-friction environment, to put it lightly). No shedding. I’ve done this to leather surfaces, plastic, metal, vinyl. Haven’t tried fabric– probably too absorbent/flexible.

Do this, then clean up and let it dry, and you now have a super-fabulous no-shed glittery thing. If you want to do a pattern or stencil or something, just apply masking tape and try not to totally cover the tape with a lot of glitter, then peel it up.

(I suggest you mix in a resealable container because then you can close it while the coats dry, and you can keep the extra for touch-ups. I’ve had mixes last six months plus in a film canister; takeout sauce containers are good for like, a week, maybe.)

I plan to do A Lot of this. My best effects have been achieved by getting both large and small glitter and combining them, or alternating coats of them, so you have shimmer and bling. 

If you want to add rhinestones, E6000 is the one True Glue. I have applied rhinestones to pantyhose and worn and washed them with minimal lossage. E6000 is the way to go. (I once bedecked some old opaque tights with googly eyes. Hand-wash only, but fabulous regardless.)

That’s my 2017 resolution: more fabulous. 
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Oh, I haven’t finished it yet. It’s the next chapter of the Epilogue to the Giant Fic of Doom I spent 2016 writing. 

I am thinking, though, that when it’s finished (just that scene is about half-done, the rest of the chapter is about ¾ done) I might see if I can polish it into a standalone and put it on Tumblr, because there should be more fics where General Leia Organa gets exactly what she wants in bed. 

Kes gave Leia a long-suffering look as she ruffled his hair again, and she laughed, but desisted. “I guess nothing’s off the table,” he said. “On my end, anyway. I would like to put in a request, though.”

“Oh?” She was expecting something about his hair, maybe that she stop messing it up, although it was short enough not to have been noticeably disarranged by her attentions.

“I would like,” he said, gaze going indirect with shyness again, “to spend, um, as long as you’ll let me, going down on you.”

She laughed. “As long as I’ll let you,” she said. “Do people usually ask you to stop?”

“No,” he said, and his cheeks had gone hot against her hands.

“I’m not going to say no,” she said.

“Request number two,” he said, cutting his eyes sideways to look up at her. “In bed?”

She laughed. “I won’t say no to that either,” she said.

“In that case,” he said, and stood up, picking her up with a hand under each thigh.

She managed to suppress her shriek of laughter, and just squeaked against his neck instead. “You,” she said, and he carried her over to the bed and carefully dumped her onto it.

“You’re so little,” he said. “I have always wanted to do that to you and I figured you’d murder me.”

“I would have,” she said, laughing breathlessly. “I still might!”
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Return of the frittater-totta, featuring leftovers from the Christmas Eve cheese plate. @zobar2 says “This may be the first known collaboration between tater tots and Camembert?” I doubt it but had never before encountered it, so, possibly.
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TFA Covers | Home Out In The Wind | 89k

Poe gave up a lot of things when he defected to the Resistance, but there’s always more to lose. War is an expensive lifestyle. You’ve got to keep your affairs in order and do the best you can with what you have. He owes this former Stormtrooper a life-debt, and beyond that he knows the kid’s exceptional, so he’s going to do everything he can to get the kid a fair start in this messy business.
Finn wakes up and has no idea what to do beyond joining the Resistance, but he knows he’s got to keep up with Poe somehow.

BB-8 really just thinks the two of them should go ahead and do that thing that biological organisms seem to spend so much time thinking about where they rub themselves on each other, already, because clearly that needs to happen.

I was seeing all those end-of-year fic roundup posts and thinking, like, uh, I don’t really– have anything else to post about, except parts of this epic.

But then I found that I still had this open in a tab, and there was a link to a Tumblr entry, and I can reblog that! So–

here’s my 2016, and I am so excited about this beautiful cover for it. I love the X-wing silhouettes!!!! And the moody pine forest, which is so totally the setting for part of the second story in the series… What an atmospheric little rumination this is. 
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New Years resolution: less bitter more glitter

but why not both
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@bomberqueen17 replied to your photoset: noo yair noo hair! well, same hair, with the usual…

i’m gonna cut my hair in a minute too! not much but just a little bit off the end. by myself, in the sink. :)

best way to get haircuts, right? i haven’t paid for a haircut in like… four years, probably, because when i started getting vague genderfeels i couldn’t really find a stylist who would make my hair unfeminine in the ways i wanted, so i made do. i could probably find someplace now, but it turns out i really like the way i can make my own hair look, a lot better than i’ve ever liked how other people think my hair should look. and it’s free!

on the other hand shaving my sides has somehow made my top-hair thicker, or at least made me aware of how thick it is, and i’ve spent the last four months whining to SO about how i have so much fucking hair, what the hell. so, chop!

I have a combination of reasons that I don’t go to a hairdresser, total lack of executive function when it comes to making appointments or leaving the house as like, #1. But since I decided at 14 to grow my hair out, I’ve realized that hairdressers really really really don’t know what to do with very long hair, like, at all. It’s been more or less long enough to sit on since about 1996, and invariably they try to handle it like shoulder-length hair– dunk it in the sink, swish it around, yank a plastic-toothed brush through it starting at the roots. Holy shit. My mom hated combing my hair and still did better than that.

I went in for a “trim” in 2003, “please just take a couple inches off, just the dead ends” and she was like “sure” and cut off about a foot. I was horrified. 

I’ve been back one time, because a derby teammate was a hairdresser, and I got eleven inches cut off on purpose, because she could donate it. My dude and I did it together, and she packaged them up and they matched, it was very cute. I don’t even care where she donated it.

(With hair that long you can’t sit in the hairdresser’s chair, you have to stand up for them to cut it. What’s the point if you can’t sit in the comfy chair??)

Apart from that, though– I know they’re professionals, but they’ve never seen hair like mine, so I do a better job, and it’s free, and I don’t have to have pants on. The scissors were ten dollars and I got them at the grocery store. I trim when my hair starts having tangling problems. 

(I have the easiest hair in the world to work with. It’s flat thin fine straight white lady hair. It takes zero skill to know how to brush hair like that. It’s amazing.)

(I have like, no hair. I don’t dare do an undercut or anything because first off it’s like 45 inches long and would take forever to grow back, and second off, as it is I have the thinnest pigtails ever, I can’t imagine having *less* hair in it.)

(I should buy myself some false hair so that I have enough to do Princess Leia styles, in her memory. But they don’t make false hair in the length I need; most of it’s ~27 inches long, and I need at least 40 to blend it in. Maybe I can just braid ribbons in to bulk it up and do the crown braid style… The cinnamon buns look like a pain in the ass so I probably won’t bother with them.)
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K-2SO says, “There is a ninety-five per cent chance I will outlive you.”

“Gee,” says Cassian, “thanks.”

K-2SO has a comprehensive knowledge of human idioms and linguistic quirks: he knows precisely what sarcasm is.

He’s a little shit. He pretends he doesn’t.

“You’re welcome,” he says.

Keep reading
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I couldn’t help myself. Galen Erso/Bodhi Rook, pre-canon.

Summary: Bodhi Rook is steady, unremarkable, and though his every action is designed to escape notice, Erso has noticed him. Worse, Erso is kind, and Bodhi remembers home.

…also, cameos by Chirrut and Baze because I couldn’t keep them out if I tried. 



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