(no subject)

[dragonlady7]

ok, no thesis comments. that's... depressing.

but somewhat trivial.

i cried myself home from Elmira after learning from my sister that my dad does indeed have prostate cancer.

This isn't happy.

I'm so tired.

Fiona forgot to give me my digital camera. I brought her $50 worth of groceries, and made her dinner, and we hung out and had a great time, and I potted her water-soaked jade plants for her, and then... forgot to get the camera I'd just driven 200 miles for.

Endless frustration.

So I'm forseeing a night of crying myself to sleep.

It's one of those times where I don't want to cry myself to sleep alone. It's times like this when i really really miss having someone to hold me and remind me I'm not the only person in the world.

But dammit, it's been three years now and more since I had anyone like that, and we weren't even allowed to spend the night together then.

So any of you who have someone that you get to sleep next to every night, or at least that you can count on to be there when you call crying on the phone, remember how lucky you are.

my whole head hurts.

not my most cheerful post.

hm... I did get a very nice postcard from Max today thanking me for the postcard stamps. So that's something. Something very nice. Very nice. I wonder where he is.

Comments

[vfc.livejournal.com]

Sometimes having someone in my bed a only few nights a week makes every day without all the worse. Yet I always feel as if I'm the only person in the world when I go to sleep, alone or not. But, I know how you feel and I'm sorry you feel that way.

Re:

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

at times like this i'm never sure whether i'd be better off not knowing what i'm missing.
not even sexually.
but once in my whole life i had a best friend who loved me and was always there and believed in me and now I know what I'm missing and I'll never have that again.
and in times of stress the lack is more noticeable than other times.

[vfc.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've been feeling particularly best-friendless lately. I find myself bottling everything up because I don't have that one go-to person to call and vent my problems on. This is new territory for me, as I've never been the bottle-it-up type.

By the way, hope you don't mind me butting in. I was bored today and was clicking random LJ sites. Usually I just find lame kids who can't spell or who are really into boy bands and video games. I was happy to see that sometimes a random search will yield quality journals and celebrated by adding you to my list.

Re:

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

i've been having that bottling-up problem lately too.
hence the amazing length of my earlier journals. i only started in early july.
yes, i once clicked the random journal thing, and spent several hours doing so, and i found a huge number of journals by 'gurlz' who couldn't spell and had boy troubles. so usually i go through friends pages and friends of friends and friends of friends of friends, and i find that i get a better general quality that way. ^.^

Poor thing...

[buschibaby.livejournal.com]

Sweetness, don't cry. I wish I could be there for you.

I know I'm lucky. I can't believe that you won't ever have that again. You're too good and sexy a person to not find someone to adore you.

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I don't know what else to say.

I love you.

from Liesl

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry, Bridie. ::hug::

[eggplantia5.livejournal.com]

i'm sorry about your dad sweetie.
but hopefully they caught it pretty early, and all will be fine shortly. i suck at this comforting stuff. i always say the wrong things, or i'm just an awkward mess. but i'll try to be there for you. and you have a large and great family who will totally help your dad out.

[crakor.livejournal.com]

sorry to hear about your dad :-(

Re:

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

he'll be fine. i'm sure he will be. fiona makes everything seem so much worse than it is. she's just like that.

[crakor.livejournal.com]

ahh, well thats a good thing I suppose.