six months

[dragonlady7]

via https://ift.tt/2UlMsVv

tomorrow’s six months since dad died and i’m super sad folks. just super sad. it’s a bummer. i don’t recommend this.

and every time someone complains about their shitty dad i’m like struck with this thing i can’t express, about how sad i am for them, but also for me, because my dad was not shitty, he was a great dude, and i’m just real fucking sad, and i have not one time managed to express precisely what bums me out so much about that, because– i guess– it’s not fair that your shitty dad is shitty and is there being a shitty dad, and mine is not here but he wasn’t shitty. and i am completely fucking inarticulate about this and haven’t managed to explain myself at all, but that’s all i have, so. sorry.

it’s gonna be another few months until we get to even have a funeral or anything and i just feel like it’s not real but at this point i know it is. it’s not even like a funeral would help. i dunno.

anyway. F minus, do not recommend, zero stars, don’t do it, don’t lose your dad. (Your picture was not posted)

Comments

[harpers_child]

hug?

[minoanmiss]

it’s not fair that your shitty dad is shitty and is there being a shitty dad, and mine is not here but he wasn’t shitty. and i am completely fucking inarticulate about this and haven’t managed to explain myself at all, but that’s all i have, so. sorry.


It's not fair at all. I hear you.

[armadillo1976]

Hi!
I'm right there with you, so first of all, hugs. My dad died last July 27, so we're coming up on the first anniversary. And last summer, when he died at the height of Covid here (though not of Covid), we held a pathetic gathering of like 5 people, frightful and distanced in our yard, such a completely inappropriate funeral for my dad who had so many friends and students and co-workers. But we kept saying, on the first anniversary, we're going to hold a proper gathering to commemorate him. And we might? Maybe? But it will not in any way make up for the non-occurrence of a proper funeral at the time when he actually died. I know that now. Sad, yeah, that's the only word for it. So - just know that I know what you feel, and hugs. So many hugs.

[dragonlady7]

we did a zoom thing. we're hoping to do an interment in october. ha mine also was in the midst of covid and not *of* covid. i genuinely don't know whether a funeral will make a darn bit of difference but it's so unhappy to have to wonder that.

[sabotabby]

*hugs*

I'm so sorry about your dad. He sounds like he was awesome. You've completely explained that well.

I have a biological father who was shitty and dead, and I have a stepdad who was awesome and is also dead. Father's Day is never going to be a good time.

[musesfool]

I'm so sorry for your loss. *hugs* It's hard. My dad died four years ago and it's still hard and probably always will be.

[oracne]

*hugs*

It's too late to take you advice.

[redstapler]

*snug*

The first year of holidays/birthdays/etc is always the rawest. I promise it gets easier, but that particular conversation never does.

I will never forget getting yelled at by someone in the comments because I posted I was sad my Mom died and her Mom sucked, how dare I? I'm still trying to figure that one out.