terminology question, idk what to tag this
via https://ift.tt/3jrebeu
There should be a concise and succinct term for this identity that I both
am and have encountered many many times. Like, whenever I try to describe
it, i get people coming out of the woodwork to be like âOMG ME TOOâ, to the
point that I think itâs incredibly common. But thereâs no word for it!
Firstly, itâs being demisexual, right, so you generally donât feel sexual
attraction to people, but then when you do itâs like, you sure do, right?
Just, only for specific people.
But also youâre bi, because when you do feel sexual attraction to
somebody, it sure as shit has nothing to do with which parts theyâve got.
Like, it matters that they have parts, itâs not a nonsexual thing at
all, but whatâs actually there? what their actual specific equipment is?
absolutely not relevant, unimportant. what kind of sex do you like? sex
with that person. Thatâs what it is.
And yet to describe this, which is by and large not a particularly sexual
identity, right? you have to use the word sexual twice, and it sounds so
clunky, and it doesnât sound like what it is, you have to have studied all
the relevant spectra to even have a clue what those words are supposed to
mean.
There should be a one-word identity for that. Because those arenât two
separate aspects of what I am, that is all one pieceâ I only experience
sexual attraction for specific people, but specifically it does not matter
where those people are on the gender spectrum.
Maybe I just hate the word âdemisexualâ, which does not in any way sound
like what it is. âGray-aceâ isnât much better. I am a whole person and a
whole sexual person and none of those convey what I am very well. And
bisexual is a venerable and ancient term with which I have no dispute, but
people definitely, definitely assume âbisexualâ means ânot pickyâ when this
is extremely the opposite of that.
I am Specific Person Only Sexual, which means that I only experience sexual
attraction for specific people, but those specific people do not fall into
a category.
(It can be fleeting! I donât have to be In Love with a person to experience
this! i can work up a sexual attraction for fictional characters that then
goes away once Iâm out of that headspace! [i can work up a sexual
attraction for a real person who has some personality aspect that enchants
me that later when i am not in their presence i can be like what the fuck
was I thinking!] yes really! people think demisexual means you have to
fall in love before you magically have the pantsfeelings and thatâs very
sweet but what youâre thinking of is fairy-tale monogamy. maybe thatâs how
it works for some demisexuals but let me tell you, those demisexuals have much
tidier lives than I do. No, for me itâs a sense of humor thing I think,
and like, ok, it doesnât happen at first sight, but that doesnât mean itâs
True Love either.)
(relatedly: the concept of Having A Type is super super super super alien
to me. You know those guys who just date the same woman over and over
again, where you genuinely canât tell their girlfriends apart from their
exes because they all have the same approximate features and shape and
coloring? what the fuck. how does that work. how is that a thing. even
those thirst posts where somebodyâs collected a bunch of similar-looking
celebrities. what the fuck. those arenât the same person. what are you
experiencing from this? i do not understand. iâm not judging because i
literally donât understand. i genuinely cannot tell whatâs going on. oh
relatedly-relatedly: those posts where someoneâs like âah, body partâ and
have a bunch of photos of that body part. what?? is this about?? i donât
get that. no, i⌠have sex with people⌠not their body parts⌠i canât handle
all this like deep questions of the self shit, i just want to get horny
sometimes, what is all this???? I donât get it. LOL. I donât know where
this whole parenthetical aside is going, Iâm just including it because it
seems like it might be relevant or related to my going theory that
Allosexuals Are Aliens.)