witcher 3: looting your nuts
Apr. 26th, 2020 04:36 amvia https://ift.tt/2zxlgJ1
So once the kids went to bed we got some drinks and settled in to watch Dr. Friend play Witcher 3 on Death March Hard Mode. Last time, we got past the tutorial and wandered into an inn, and accidentally discovered that the best healing potion available to you on level 1 is water.
Tonight’s installment led to our discovery that drowners will just straight-up instant-kill you, so that was fun. Also we set ourselves on fire, with Igni, for no reason, so, for the record, you can do that.
Dr. Friend apologized at one point because this is the most boring part of any game, when the player doesn’t know how anything works yet and is just grinding basic shit to level up to like, literally anything, and he’s also doing it on Super Hard Mode so the solution to literally any opponent is to run the fuck away because you don’t yet have the levels to beat any of them.
We did successfully complete the quest where for some reason you have to Aard down the door of a hovel and retrieve the frying pan of an elderly woman who has apparently been standing there in the rain getting soaked through at one in the fucking morning waiting for you to show up so you can go get her beloved frying pan. You get rewarded in experience points, having possibly uncovered the evidence of a plot, and you can loot the house for snacks and also the old lady somehow in her soaked-through skirts also has a trove of fresh-baked snacks with which she’ll pay you. Don’t worry about it, this is how games work.
We also tracked down an arsonist and got him murdered, but not before completely looting his house, which contained mostly dried fruit and nuts, which was great. But like. Why were there so many containers of nuts in his house. “I’m looting your nuts,” Dr. Friend said, before Axiing the fuck out of him so he’d turn himself in.
My very, very favorite part of this entire game so far is how Geralt’s marketing materials and like, inventory screen face is this through-the-eyebrows badass glower, and yet the expression he is making literally every time you can see his face in the game (because of course for all the action shit you’re behind him, and if his face is in frame it’s because he’s talking to someone) is this sort of head-tilt, raised-eyebrow, polite-listening face that is often twisted into a sympathetic cast even when he’s supposed to be saying sarcastic shit.
Tonight’s game also featured two separate incidents of falling off cliffs for no great reason, and we also discovered that just because a thing allows you to take it doesn’t mean you should, like for example if there’s a barrel full of money directly next to a guard, if you take it they won’t be excited about that and might try to fight you, so maybe don’t do that. The second time we tried it a warning appeared, but the first time it did not and was part of the reason why we instantly fell to our doom because we hadn’t really expected that and were doing all of this directly next to a cliff.
I’m saying “we” but really, I mean, I was just witnessing this. i don’t mean to take credit, this is just for storytelling purposes y’know?
Also there were wolves everywhere and probably in Normal Person Mode you’d have some faint chance of doing something to the wolves, but on Death March Mode the wolves will also instant-kill you so we had to run like the fucking wind every time we saw any of them. A pleasant discovery which would have helped in this was that if you whistle at any time Roach just pops up out of nowhere, which is amazing because we definitely left her tied up at an inn like twenty miles away, and having her would have made the fleeing from wolves bullshit a little easier, though it would not have saved any of the random falls from cliffs. (The sound Geralt makes when he dies from impact damage is just sort of… sad, you just feel bad for doing that to him. Poor guy. Sorry. That was dumb. Aww.)
We tried to hunt deer, but you can’t catch them with your sword, we don’t have a crossbow yet, and they’re too quick to dodge an Igni, but purely by accident we Igni’d a sheep instead, and yeah, then you get to loot “raw meat” from the corpse, and sometimes you just randomly are presented with piles of raw meat on the ground that you then add to your inventory and carry around, presumably to eat later, and because it’s a game, that works and doesn’t give you food poisoning. “I really didn’t mean to loot that guy’s sheep though,” Dr. Friend said, sounding, ha, sheepish.
As an aside, as we were doing this,![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
akilah12902 was texting advice like “always pick the nicest possible dialogue option!” and I was not managing to relay it but Dr. Friend was doing that anyway. At one point he even said, “I mean, it could be fun to pick a fight but I feel like this guy would probably say the nicer thing instead so I’m gonna do that.” Aww.
We stopped for the night after we came across a beehive, stood there trying to figure out what one was supposed to do with the weird glowing icon on it, and then I noticed that Geralt’s health was dropping rapidly. “Dude the bees are literally killing him,” I said, and Dr. Friend was like oh fuck and moved away and then instantly, like I mean within a second and a half, got just completely murderated by a drowner. Since his health was like, two percent, the thing just one-shot killed him, I don’t even think it used claws. Just kind of bumped him and that was it.
“I think we’re done for tonight,” Dr. Friend said, loading the saved game at the last checkpoint and then exiting the game.
We then had to gently rouse MathMom, who had passed the fuck out on the couch an hour ago, so that she could go to bed.
So once the kids went to bed we got some drinks and settled in to watch Dr. Friend play Witcher 3 on Death March Hard Mode. Last time, we got past the tutorial and wandered into an inn, and accidentally discovered that the best healing potion available to you on level 1 is water.
Tonight’s installment led to our discovery that drowners will just straight-up instant-kill you, so that was fun. Also we set ourselves on fire, with Igni, for no reason, so, for the record, you can do that.
Dr. Friend apologized at one point because this is the most boring part of any game, when the player doesn’t know how anything works yet and is just grinding basic shit to level up to like, literally anything, and he’s also doing it on Super Hard Mode so the solution to literally any opponent is to run the fuck away because you don’t yet have the levels to beat any of them.
We did successfully complete the quest where for some reason you have to Aard down the door of a hovel and retrieve the frying pan of an elderly woman who has apparently been standing there in the rain getting soaked through at one in the fucking morning waiting for you to show up so you can go get her beloved frying pan. You get rewarded in experience points, having possibly uncovered the evidence of a plot, and you can loot the house for snacks and also the old lady somehow in her soaked-through skirts also has a trove of fresh-baked snacks with which she’ll pay you. Don’t worry about it, this is how games work.
We also tracked down an arsonist and got him murdered, but not before completely looting his house, which contained mostly dried fruit and nuts, which was great. But like. Why were there so many containers of nuts in his house. “I’m looting your nuts,” Dr. Friend said, before Axiing the fuck out of him so he’d turn himself in.
My very, very favorite part of this entire game so far is how Geralt’s marketing materials and like, inventory screen face is this through-the-eyebrows badass glower, and yet the expression he is making literally every time you can see his face in the game (because of course for all the action shit you’re behind him, and if his face is in frame it’s because he’s talking to someone) is this sort of head-tilt, raised-eyebrow, polite-listening face that is often twisted into a sympathetic cast even when he’s supposed to be saying sarcastic shit.
Tonight’s game also featured two separate incidents of falling off cliffs for no great reason, and we also discovered that just because a thing allows you to take it doesn’t mean you should, like for example if there’s a barrel full of money directly next to a guard, if you take it they won’t be excited about that and might try to fight you, so maybe don’t do that. The second time we tried it a warning appeared, but the first time it did not and was part of the reason why we instantly fell to our doom because we hadn’t really expected that and were doing all of this directly next to a cliff.
I’m saying “we” but really, I mean, I was just witnessing this. i don’t mean to take credit, this is just for storytelling purposes y’know?
Also there were wolves everywhere and probably in Normal Person Mode you’d have some faint chance of doing something to the wolves, but on Death March Mode the wolves will also instant-kill you so we had to run like the fucking wind every time we saw any of them. A pleasant discovery which would have helped in this was that if you whistle at any time Roach just pops up out of nowhere, which is amazing because we definitely left her tied up at an inn like twenty miles away, and having her would have made the fleeing from wolves bullshit a little easier, though it would not have saved any of the random falls from cliffs. (The sound Geralt makes when he dies from impact damage is just sort of… sad, you just feel bad for doing that to him. Poor guy. Sorry. That was dumb. Aww.)
We tried to hunt deer, but you can’t catch them with your sword, we don’t have a crossbow yet, and they’re too quick to dodge an Igni, but purely by accident we Igni’d a sheep instead, and yeah, then you get to loot “raw meat” from the corpse, and sometimes you just randomly are presented with piles of raw meat on the ground that you then add to your inventory and carry around, presumably to eat later, and because it’s a game, that works and doesn’t give you food poisoning. “I really didn’t mean to loot that guy’s sheep though,” Dr. Friend said, sounding, ha, sheepish.
As an aside, as we were doing this,
akilah12902 was texting advice like “always pick the nicest possible dialogue option!” and I was not managing to relay it but Dr. Friend was doing that anyway. At one point he even said, “I mean, it could be fun to pick a fight but I feel like this guy would probably say the nicer thing instead so I’m gonna do that.” Aww. We stopped for the night after we came across a beehive, stood there trying to figure out what one was supposed to do with the weird glowing icon on it, and then I noticed that Geralt’s health was dropping rapidly. “Dude the bees are literally killing him,” I said, and Dr. Friend was like oh fuck and moved away and then instantly, like I mean within a second and a half, got just completely murderated by a drowner. Since his health was like, two percent, the thing just one-shot killed him, I don’t even think it used claws. Just kind of bumped him and that was it.
“I think we’re done for tonight,” Dr. Friend said, loading the saved game at the last checkpoint and then exiting the game.
We then had to gently rouse MathMom, who had passed the fuck out on the couch an hour ago, so that she could go to bed.
