A streaker ran onto the field during the Saints-Bills game and everyone made the same joke

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oh christ.

this is my former derby team captain’s little brother.

On the one hand, bro wtf. on the other hand though… 

If anyone could get 100 yards on that field, naked, it’d be Señor Wiener, who learned to skate derby by letting his big sister’s entire team beat the shit out of him and went on to a pretty illustrious career skating for Toronto’s men’s derby league. He’s agile as fuck and from those photos, is still in really great fuckin’ shape. 

(That was the “same joke” everyone was making that the article headline referred to. The Bills did incredibly shitty but this kid got almost twice the yards they did.)

I expect there’ll be a GoFundMe for his bail and fines though. 

I wonder if anyone I know had a press pass to shoot the game… I’ll find out tomorrow at work if they did. (The store manager often shoots Bills games for the AP wire.)
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I went and checked on the streaker on Facebook.

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I went and checked on the streaker on Facebook. He’s not posting anything yet, but I looked up his mom instead– the whole family were so involved in our derby league, I know her well, she’s stayed at my parents’ house and ridden in my car and is one of the best people in the world.

She says she’s not mad at him, it’s the kind of shenanigans you can’t really be cross with someone about, but he’s been charged with trespass and indecent exposure so there’ll likely be fines. The entire Buffalo and Toronto derby community are all lined up to chip in, though.

And if you look at those photos– damn, kid. I guess he was out of derby for a little bit with a knee injury but you can’t tell from the 100-yard dash he did. He was probably pretty drunk and feeling no pain, but. His form is excellent, great posture, no sign of a limp.

Oh good it’s on youtube. This recap makes a lot of mention of the so-called Bills Mafia, i.e. rabid Bills fans who are, justifiably, far more into the tailgating aspect than the actual football aspect of the game. For a good time, look them up; there was a trend last season of setting oneself on fire and flipping through folding tables that has to be seen to be in any way puzzled out. That just sounds like word salad but I promise it’s true. 

Anyway, the best photo of the night: Bro nice abs.

The single best part of this photo is the face of the Saints player standing behind him. Just zoom right in there on that guy and laugh your ass off.

Ahhh. Thanks, man. This has made me tune into precisely enough recaps to know what’s going on with the Bills so I can now make polite conversation for the rest of the season. That’s Rust Belt survivalism right there… 
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idiopathicsmile: people talk about the danger of violen

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idiopathicsmile:

people talk about the danger of violence or overt sexuality in children’s entertainment, but i swear that nothing, nothing fucked me up as badly as the totally family-friendly, g-rated trope of “woman who is not traditionally attractive flirts with our male lead; aren’t her romantic and/or sexual desires inherently disgusting, and thus hilarious?”

and like, at least when i was growing up, it was everywhere: disney movies, saturday morning cartoons–i think it was maybe even more common in stuff aimed at kids, because when you’re not allowed to go blue, there are fewer ways to get a lazy, cheap laugh.

i was freckle-faced and chubby as a kid (both, of course, common cartoon shorthand for “this girl is hideous”), and i literally cannot remember being too young to feel bad about how i looked. i’m sure my baby fat didn’t bother me when i was an actual baby, but my body issues are at least as old as my conscious memory. thank god i had access to feminism and cultural criticism from a comically young age; it rarely protected me from pain but at least i’d heard that it was wrong to send a message that beautiful princesses are protagonists and ugly girls are punchlines.

(as if we have to earn the right to even just want romantic love, to even just feel something for somebody else, as if we have to cash in tiny noses and perfect lips and tiny bodies like fucking arcade tokens before our heartsong is anything but a mean joke)

and granted, there were other issues at play; i’m not pinning all my baggage on, say, that part in aladdin where the fat lady with a gap in her teeth catches him while he’s running for his life and sings that she thinks he’s “rather tasty” and aladdin’s face is all “UGH, OH NOOO,” but i swear i didn’t start to internalize “no decent human being would be grossed out by your romantic interest, or even just find it so ludicrous as to be funny” until about six years ago

and i am five fucking days away from turning thirty
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Ah ha ha ha ha the store manager was indeed at the Bills game shooting for the AP wire, and did...

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Ah ha ha ha ha the store manager was indeed at the Bills game shooting for the AP wire, and did indeed witness the streaking. “I had no shot, though,” he said, “I was shooting the team celebrating, so they were between me and him– but I looked over and he ran by and I was like wow that guy sure is naked.”

“OK so the news story said very naked man,” I said, “and how is that different from just a regular naked man?”

“Oh,” store manager said, “I’ll show ya,” and pulled up a photo on his phone, and

“Oh,” I said. “Yes, that’s the difference.”

[Regular naked is just a naked guy. Very naked is an excited naked guy.]

“I can see how he felt like he’d have nothing to lose,” Store Manager said contemplatively. “I mean, nobody’s gonna make fun of him for that.”

“I can’t ever unsee that, though,” I said. “I mean. I know his mom.”

Store Manager shrugged. “I can’t unsee it either,” he said, “so, welcome to the club.” Then he laughed. “He rushed for more yards than the Bills did in the whole game, though!”
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"We owe a debt to third world women theologians who

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“We owe a debt to third world women theologians who have noticed the similarities between Mary’s life and the lives of so many poor women even today. Giving birth in a homeless situation; fleeing as a refugee with your baby to a strange land to escape being killed by military action; losing a child to unjust execution by the state; our newspapers yield up these icons of suffering even today. Mary is sister to the marginalized women who live unchronicled lives in oppressive situations. It does her no honor to rip her out of her conflictual, dangerous historical circumstances and transmute her into an icon of a peaceful, middle-class life robed in royal blue.”
- Sister Elizabeth Johnson, “Mary of Nazareth: Friend of God and Prophet”
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I only ever embroider happy shiny things.

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A post shared by Bridget Kelly (@bomberqueen17) on Nov 13, 2017 at 3:53pm PST

I only ever embroider happy shiny things.
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