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Self. Self, self, self. Listen. You have 62 works on the AO3 alone, and that is not your first rodeo. You have been publishing shit on the Internet since the early 00′s. It is 2016. That is a long time, my guy. So don’t freak out.
Cut for whining and self-talk.
Just on AO3 you have 1099793 words. You just cut-and-pasted that though because you don’t understand numbers that big. Put some commas in it.
1,099,793. Is that a million? I think that many commas makes it a million. Look at your stats. You have like ten thousand kudos! That’s a lot. For that many words maybe not but we’re not calculating percentages, because we’re actually incapable, so it’s okay. A million words.
That’s a lot. So chill out. Chill the fuck out! It’s okay! You had to just sort of hit “post” on the chapter because you freaked yourself out. There might be some formatting errors! You’re only about 85% sure that’s actually the most recent draft that made it in there, some of your corrections might have gotten overwritten. That’s okay. You might have said something you didn’t quite mean to. Somebody might call you on it. It’ll be okay! It’ll be okay. You might’ve said something you meant to but didn’t think through all the way, and somebody might call you on that, too, and that’s also okay. Horrible, but okay. You should go and answer the comments on the last chapter, that would probably not freak you out.
Or, you know, you’re at work, you could, you know, work, although discovering that two $1500 orders currently enroute to the Ukraine with no interrupt option were PayPal fraud (how did we not notice one dude ordering the same thing twice what is wrong with us) is not really what you needed in your life either right now and the guy who’d know what to do is, of course, freshly departed for vacation. COOL. You called the warehouse to try to stop the packages leaving, that’s all you can do until the boss shows up, God knows when, nobody works 9-5 but you and they all act like you’re an asshole for wanting to leave at 5 but that is not your problem and you need to stop worrying about them.
You know what, you brought a seam ripper and a too-small jacket so maybe you should just do that for a while. Unpick some seams. That might make you feel better. Look busy but you don’t have to look all that busy, the only person who knows what’s going on is on vacation, which is like half the problem but is also the ad-hoc solution, all in one.
Oh, self. I guess you’re the only me I’ve got, so you have to be good enough, you get that? You’re adequate because you’re the only option, so whatever you do is good enough. It’s circular but it’s true. It’s okay because there’s literally no other choice but to be what it is, which is therefore okay. Okay?
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