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For anyone considering reading the dang SW novel I’m working on– well, I guess this is a little spoilery so don’t read if you hate that, but actually it’s just a tagging thing– I’m just now finally writing the threesome bit, so– if I tag it Poe/Rey/Finn, you gotta keep that in mind, I’m 120,000 words into it.
But it IS happening, which I hadn’t really been sure it would, so–
tl;dr: This is a little incoherent, but I wanted to make some words about it. My Rey isn’t ace and this is why.
Although I could have saved writing this whole blathery thing, below, and just banged on the table and yelled THREESOME, THREESOME because fuck, I love writing threesomes.
(the above two paragraphs were at the end but then I decided to put them here instead because they’re all you need to know. Longform reasoning is below the cut. Mostly incoherent. It’s early and I’m trying to write.)
I’m a little concerned because Rey starts out the story kind of asexual and I was really torn, I thought it would be cool if she stayed ace, and didn’t do the Finding The Right Dick Will Fix You trope, but– the thing is, that’s my story. That’s what happened to me. I don’t know the proper label, but I had that exact arc. And I recently saw someone talking about how anyone with anything but the most “normal” assumed-basic hetero-cis-blah sexuality kind of feels this internal pressure to never change, to always be sure, because so many people will say ‘I told you you’d change your mind’ otherwise– and I thought, I want to tell this story because it’s a true story and sometimes you DO change but not at all the way those people think. So I am. And I’m sincerely sorry that she doesn’t turn out ace and stay that way because I do have so many ace friends and I do see the lack of good stories for and about them. She’s– whatever I am, if it’s demisexual or gray-A or something. She experiences sexual desire but not attraction to other people except in rare circumstances.
And people assume that’s Asexual Until Magic Dick Fixes It, but that’s not what it is at all. (For the record, it wasn’t a magic dick that “fixed” me, it was a very funny and sweetly charismatic lesbian, and later an awkward and funny dude, and in between I still thought I was broken and did all kinds of stupid things to fix it, and I’m still not sure what my deal is but at least I’m mostly happy.)
I also feel like I’ve seen a lot of Ace Rey that was cute and all but it also was pretty transparently to get her out of the way of the slash ship, which is fine and I like reading that sometimes but in romantic-focused plot lines, if you make a character ace you’re sort of– writing them out. And i don’t want to do that. so if I can ever get off my ass and write a non-romantic plot line, that’d be the place to write my great ace character. (Like, in MCU, how many people found it convenient to make Sam ace? In a story or two it was great but like, after a while it was such a preponderance of the stories, and like– this is how you get the inconvenient third person out of the way in your slash, and that’s not really that positive a representation, in the end? I’m not being controversial, there were a lot of great stories that went this way, but it was, like, *all of them* for a while there. And I’m starting to sometimes get that feel– and it’s nice, in SW, that at least you’re not writing out the black dude, but instead it’s getting rid of vagina cooties, you know? When representation is all in scraps every little thing is like, The Death Of Social Justice, and I’m bored of that.)
My point is not oh, I should check off tickboxes. But I’ve just found– if you really consider these things instead of just going with whatever is “normal” in your head, you wind up with a richer story that’s more considered. So. My point is. I considered these things, and I’m not making characters fall into bed in the most expedient way possible. I’m trying to tell different stories. I feel like that’s what fiction is about for me, most compellingly– different stories. Some people can make it be beautifully telling the same story with minor variations– and I do enjoy reading that– but that’s not what it is for me.
For anyone considering reading the dang SW novel I’m working on– well, I guess this is a little spoilery so don’t read if you hate that, but actually it’s just a tagging thing– I’m just now finally writing the threesome bit, so– if I tag it Poe/Rey/Finn, you gotta keep that in mind, I’m 120,000 words into it.
But it IS happening, which I hadn’t really been sure it would, so–
tl;dr: This is a little incoherent, but I wanted to make some words about it. My Rey isn’t ace and this is why.
Although I could have saved writing this whole blathery thing, below, and just banged on the table and yelled THREESOME, THREESOME because fuck, I love writing threesomes.
(the above two paragraphs were at the end but then I decided to put them here instead because they’re all you need to know. Longform reasoning is below the cut. Mostly incoherent. It’s early and I’m trying to write.)
I’m a little concerned because Rey starts out the story kind of asexual and I was really torn, I thought it would be cool if she stayed ace, and didn’t do the Finding The Right Dick Will Fix You trope, but– the thing is, that’s my story. That’s what happened to me. I don’t know the proper label, but I had that exact arc. And I recently saw someone talking about how anyone with anything but the most “normal” assumed-basic hetero-cis-blah sexuality kind of feels this internal pressure to never change, to always be sure, because so many people will say ‘I told you you’d change your mind’ otherwise– and I thought, I want to tell this story because it’s a true story and sometimes you DO change but not at all the way those people think. So I am. And I’m sincerely sorry that she doesn’t turn out ace and stay that way because I do have so many ace friends and I do see the lack of good stories for and about them. She’s– whatever I am, if it’s demisexual or gray-A or something. She experiences sexual desire but not attraction to other people except in rare circumstances.
And people assume that’s Asexual Until Magic Dick Fixes It, but that’s not what it is at all. (For the record, it wasn’t a magic dick that “fixed” me, it was a very funny and sweetly charismatic lesbian, and later an awkward and funny dude, and in between I still thought I was broken and did all kinds of stupid things to fix it, and I’m still not sure what my deal is but at least I’m mostly happy.)
I also feel like I’ve seen a lot of Ace Rey that was cute and all but it also was pretty transparently to get her out of the way of the slash ship, which is fine and I like reading that sometimes but in romantic-focused plot lines, if you make a character ace you’re sort of– writing them out. And i don’t want to do that. so if I can ever get off my ass and write a non-romantic plot line, that’d be the place to write my great ace character. (Like, in MCU, how many people found it convenient to make Sam ace? In a story or two it was great but like, after a while it was such a preponderance of the stories, and like– this is how you get the inconvenient third person out of the way in your slash, and that’s not really that positive a representation, in the end? I’m not being controversial, there were a lot of great stories that went this way, but it was, like, *all of them* for a while there. And I’m starting to sometimes get that feel– and it’s nice, in SW, that at least you’re not writing out the black dude, but instead it’s getting rid of vagina cooties, you know? When representation is all in scraps every little thing is like, The Death Of Social Justice, and I’m bored of that.)
My point is not oh, I should check off tickboxes. But I’ve just found– if you really consider these things instead of just going with whatever is “normal” in your head, you wind up with a richer story that’s more considered. So. My point is. I considered these things, and I’m not making characters fall into bed in the most expedient way possible. I’m trying to tell different stories. I feel like that’s what fiction is about for me, most compellingly– different stories. Some people can make it be beautifully telling the same story with minor variations– and I do enjoy reading that– but that’s not what it is for me.
