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via http://ift.tt/2mnir4i:
girly-fanatic:
reichenbackdatassup:
wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
“if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich”
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.
To add onto this, I have a friend who’s a doctor. He often does rotations in the ER, which serves a metropolitan area. He said one night, horizontal on his couch after a shift as he often is when I’m visiting, “I got one statistic for ya about domestic assault involving a kitchen knife.”
“Oh?” I said.
“Without basically zero exceptions, every time, you can ask the victim, who is always a man, what did you do to her, and every single time, you will be right to ask it, and pretty much every single time, you’ll be like, man, you deserved it.”
“Really,” I said.
“One hundred percent, the perp is a woman, and the victim is a man who done her wrong,” he said. “The only time the formula varies is sometimes you can’t get him to tell you what he did wrong.” He contemplated the ceiling for a moment. “Which is why it’s not a HIPAA violation for me to tell you this,” he added, “because it’s so goddamn common there’s no possible identifying information in this.”
girly-fanatic:
reichenbackdatassup:
wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
“if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich”
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.
To add onto this, I have a friend who’s a doctor. He often does rotations in the ER, which serves a metropolitan area. He said one night, horizontal on his couch after a shift as he often is when I’m visiting, “I got one statistic for ya about domestic assault involving a kitchen knife.”
“Oh?” I said.
“Without basically zero exceptions, every time, you can ask the victim, who is always a man, what did you do to her, and every single time, you will be right to ask it, and pretty much every single time, you’ll be like, man, you deserved it.”
“Really,” I said.
“One hundred percent, the perp is a woman, and the victim is a man who done her wrong,” he said. “The only time the formula varies is sometimes you can’t get him to tell you what he did wrong.” He contemplated the ceiling for a moment. “Which is why it’s not a HIPAA violation for me to tell you this,” he added, “because it’s so goddamn common there’s no possible identifying information in this.”
