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via http://ift.tt/20dHBhk:
“We have upgraded our collective databanks with additional information but it remains unclear,” BB-8 said, and projected a little hologram of–
“BB!” Poe said. “Where did you guys get porn?” This was what came of leaving the astromechs unattended together overnight in the hangar every night.
“Where didn’t they get it,” Pava said, tilting her head to get a better view of the hologram.
“Stop that,” Poe said, peering out from between his fingers, “that’s in poor taste. You can’t get real information from porn, it’s fictional, we’ve been over fiction, I know you know what it is.”
“Fictional,” BB-8 said, astonished. “This is fictional?” Ey sounded indignant, like perhaps ey felt ey’d been lied to.
“Nobody really fucks like that,” Poe said.
“I wouldn’t know,” BB said a little accusingly, “you never let me watch and anyway, you never do it, which is the entire point of this discussion. Clearly humans would not be so obsessed with this thing if it was not necessary?”
Poe grimaced. “Could you turn that off please?”
“Ew,” Pava said, turning her head the other way as the view shifted.
BB-8 finally turned the holo off. “Necessary,” ey insisted.
“No,” Poe said, “it’s really not. Some people don’t even like it at all.”
“You do though!” BB-8 insisted.
Poe looked over at Pava for support. “Do you let your astromech watch you fuck?” he asked. “I feel like that would be really inappropriate, but is that hopelessly old-fashioned of me?”
“I do not let my astromech watch me fuck,” Pava agreed. “That is not old-fashioned, that is just having healthy personal boundaries. But BB’s right, if you’re a person who likes sex, it’s good to have it.”
“I am never going to hear the end of this,” Poe realized, looking at the curling corner of Pava’s mouth.
“Nope,” she said, popping the P, and got up.
“Jacket Thief would likely let you put your extensions in his ports,” BB-8 said to Poe, very earnest now.
“I don’t know who that is but it sounds like a great idea,” Pava said.
BB-8 refused to use any other name besides Jacket Thief for Finn. Poe covered his eyes with his hand again. “I do not think Jacket Thief wants my extensions in his ports.”
“Everyone wants your extensions in their ports,” Pava said. “That’s like. A universal truth of the Resistance. Everyone wants Poe Dameron to put his extensions in their ports.”
“I am never going to hear the end of this,” Poe said, haunted.
“Nope!” Pava said cheerfully, and walked away.
From the WIP. Currently standing at 47k. More thoughts next post.
“We have upgraded our collective databanks with additional information but it remains unclear,” BB-8 said, and projected a little hologram of–
“BB!” Poe said. “Where did you guys get porn?” This was what came of leaving the astromechs unattended together overnight in the hangar every night.
“Where didn’t they get it,” Pava said, tilting her head to get a better view of the hologram.
“Stop that,” Poe said, peering out from between his fingers, “that’s in poor taste. You can’t get real information from porn, it’s fictional, we’ve been over fiction, I know you know what it is.”
“Fictional,” BB-8 said, astonished. “This is fictional?” Ey sounded indignant, like perhaps ey felt ey’d been lied to.
“Nobody really fucks like that,” Poe said.
“I wouldn’t know,” BB said a little accusingly, “you never let me watch and anyway, you never do it, which is the entire point of this discussion. Clearly humans would not be so obsessed with this thing if it was not necessary?”
Poe grimaced. “Could you turn that off please?”
“Ew,” Pava said, turning her head the other way as the view shifted.
BB-8 finally turned the holo off. “Necessary,” ey insisted.
“No,” Poe said, “it’s really not. Some people don’t even like it at all.”
“You do though!” BB-8 insisted.
Poe looked over at Pava for support. “Do you let your astromech watch you fuck?” he asked. “I feel like that would be really inappropriate, but is that hopelessly old-fashioned of me?”
“I do not let my astromech watch me fuck,” Pava agreed. “That is not old-fashioned, that is just having healthy personal boundaries. But BB’s right, if you’re a person who likes sex, it’s good to have it.”
“I am never going to hear the end of this,” Poe realized, looking at the curling corner of Pava’s mouth.
“Nope,” she said, popping the P, and got up.
“Jacket Thief would likely let you put your extensions in his ports,” BB-8 said to Poe, very earnest now.
“I don’t know who that is but it sounds like a great idea,” Pava said.
BB-8 refused to use any other name besides Jacket Thief for Finn. Poe covered his eyes with his hand again. “I do not think Jacket Thief wants my extensions in his ports.”
“Everyone wants your extensions in their ports,” Pava said. “That’s like. A universal truth of the Resistance. Everyone wants Poe Dameron to put his extensions in their ports.”
“I am never going to hear the end of this,” Poe said, haunted.
“Nope!” Pava said cheerfully, and walked away.
From the WIP. Currently standing at 47k. More thoughts next post.
