dragonlady7

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Not to be gross, but uh. You don’t uh. Dysentery doesn’t make you cough. 

[https://www.who.int/topics/dysentery/en/]

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[a reblog with the formatting fucked, apologies]:

The differences under the ace umbrella




This analogy is good, and even easier to understand once you think of this “urge” as being hungry. 

Asexuals are never hungry. Demisexuals aren’t usually hungry, except sometimes they walk by a donut shop they’ve become familiar with over time and there’s a chance that they find themselves hungry. Grey-asexuals sometimes get hungry, sometimes not.  

Some aren’t sure whether they fall under the ace umbrella or where on the spectrum they’re on, because they think they might’ve felt hunger before but they’re not really sure if it was really hunger or if their stomach was just upset or what, so they’re still figuring things out.

None of them choose to not be hungry. 

Sex-repulsed aces don’t like/hate donuts for different and valid reasons. 

Sex-indifferent aces don’t mind donuts. Some will maybe eat some, but most times they probably wouldn’t go out of their way to go look for donuts to eat.

Sex-positive aces like donuts. They’re not hungry when they eat donuts and they’re not eating donuts to stop being hungry, but they like eating donuts, so they do.

I really like how OP mentions that celibacy is the same as going on a diet, because that really shows how different asexuality is compared to celibacy. Generally speaking, celibate people will still go hungry but they choose to not eat. With asexuals, we don’t get hungry, period.

I think of sexual attraction more as appetite, and sex drive being like hunger. So for aces with a sex drive it’s like you might be hungry but nothing ever looks good.

anon this is probably the best explanation I’ve found.

I’ve always liked this analogy, but the hunger/appetite distinction makes it even better.

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[b's response:] One tiny quibble, though– for me and a lot of demisexuals I’ve spoken to, the analogy above is precisely why most of us assumed we weren’t demisexual for a long time, because that doesn’t really describe any of our experiences at all except on a very at-a-glance level.

The OP graphic is reasonably correct, but the longer-text explanation below is completely incorrect. It seems to make sense, if you’re not demi, but if you think you might be, you’re going to say “ok no that’s not me” and spend several more years struggling to explain just what the hell you are, and failing, so. Not to be mean to that commenter, but I’m going to correct you, because it’s wrong.

Demisexual, as far as everyone I know who eventually has come to identify with that label describes it, does not mean “sometimes sexual” as in “occasionally gets the urge with someone we know really well”. It’s not like, a halfway thing. Like, mostly we’re asexual but on a rare blue moon when the stars are aligned and our soulmate– no. I don’t know anyone for whom this is the most apt description. (They may exist. But I would say this is probably better described as an ace person than as a demi person. This might be what a gray-ace is? I don’t actually know, because the explainer posts are rife with this kind of thing where someone is trying to explain the whole spectrum but really only understands their part of it.)

Instead, more commonly, it’s a conditional thing. I am basically just asexual most of the time in most situations with most people, sure. But I have a partner with whom I am basically allosexual. I am not sometimes-sexual with that person, any more than anyone is– of course nobody is constantly having sex, and people’s appetites wax and wane with life situations and all kinds of things. But I am no more or less sexual than any given allosexual person, with this partner. (And occasionally I have similar feelings for other people, lest anyone fall into the Oh Demisexuals Are Just Super Monogamous fallacy, which I’ve addressed before [ha, I found the post: What Demisexuality Isn’t]; I have to make my own deal with expectations of fidelity just like any allosexual person would, though perhaps more rarely.)

It’s another axis of bisexuality, for most of us– again, this is what I’ve just come up with over years of talking to other people who say “Oh! I thought I was the only one!” who then describe exactly this. Many, many of the demis I know are bi as well, or pan, or something along those lines.

It seems like a contradiction– a demi-bi-sexual– because demis fuck almost nothing and bis fuck just about anything, right? Except that, again, literally everyone I know who has eventually come to use those labels has pointed out that this is not true in the slightest for them, on either aspect of it, and in fact, they’re both part of the same thing:

For those of us this describes, the axis of who we’re attracted to is a) extremely individual and b) completely without regard for social gender or biological sex, and c) if those things align then our sexual appetites are completely along the lines of whatever “normal” means for allosexuals. 

So basically, we didn’t get what the fuss was about doughnuts until we found out about this one specific doughnut that’s amazing, and we’ll only buy it from one shop because it’s not worth eating from anywhere else, but boy oh boy, we will eat the hell out of that one doughnut because it’s really great.

(And honestly from our point of view we get really confused by the people who come in and order something different every week because how does that work???? And allosexuals who form habits are like “but you’re just like us? what’s the difference I get the same kind every time too” and we’re like no because when you’re hungry and these ones are gone you’ll eat the other doughnuts but for us if this kind’s not there we genuinely don’t want any, we’re not being virtuous we’re just really not hungry.)

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kryptaria:

thesaltofcarthage:

forineffablereasons:

forineffablereasons:

crowley saves aziraphale from a prison and from a church and if that isn’t a fucking queer mood 

hang on i gotta expand on this because i can’t stop thinking about it: 

the prison scene is the only scene where crowley suggests aziraphale change something about himself - his appearance, his clothes, his presentation - and it’s for his own safety. it’s so that he can exist safely out in the world, where it might be punishable to be who aziraphale is - not an aristo, but flamboyant, in his way. this is essentially about staying closeted for personal safety. it’s okay!! you don’t owe anyone your coming out, for any reason but especially where personal safety is concerned. this relates back to aziraphale’s relationship with the homophobic-coded heaven, and aziraphale’s struggle to come to terms with his own thoughts and feelings as they are contrary to heaven’s “the way you should think and feel” codes. crowley understands what it is that aziraphale has to lose - he’s shown repeatedly regretting and struggling with his own fall, and only comes to terms with it in the last few moments of the apocalypse. crowley’s patience for aziraphale throughout the show is based in this: he gets it. he understands what it is to be cast out. he understands what aziraphale is going through whenever aziraphale goes against heaven.

this leads us exactly into the church scene. although this is happening in a church, there’s nothing holy or sacred or divine going on. it’s just a bunch of nazis sitting on an altar plotting to rob and murder a queer person. there were certainly nazis up to that kind of business in the 1940s, and there are certainly nazis up to that same kind of business now today. this isn’t subtle!! this is right-wing religious fanatic fascism in a nutshell!! so then crowley shows up and importantly, crowley doesn’t actually save aziraphale. crowley gives aziraphale the opportunity to save them both. aziraphale has to save himself. aziraphale is the only one with the power to save himself, and in doing so, he saves them both. 

this is the core of the whole show’s arc: aziraphale (the queer person), struggling to be what heaven (the traditional, homophobic family) wants him to be, even though he can see and feel that heaven is wrong. crowley (the out & cast out queer person), patiently standing by and helping aziraphale where he needs it, but ultimately leaving the decisions to aziraphale as to how or when to move forward, right up until crowley thinks they’ve run out of time and have to either run or be destroyed or separated; when he tries to force a decision on aziraphale, their relationship falls apart. it’s only restored when aziraphale finally, on his own, comes to terms with the idea that heaven’s way isn’t the way he wants to live. he doesn’t want to fight. he doesn’t believe in it. he believes in something else now, and he’s finally ready to make that choice. he ultimately turns heaven’s own logic in on itself to stop armageddon and uses love to help adam defeat the devil (aziraphale and crowley offering their love, their support, and their hands to adam, who in turn defeats the devil by denying him power where he has not done the same). 

then at the bus stop, crowley offers aziraphale to stay at his place. aziraphale’s gut reaction is to fall back in heaven’s line, and crowley say, we have to choose our faces wisely. this isn’t about body swapping to save themselves!! this is about rewriting paris 1793! this is about choosing, finally, now that they are on their own side, now that they have chosen their own rules, to be who they really are. aziraphale has rejected heaven, but he needs that last little boost to reject heaven’s rules. rejecting heaven and rejecting a lifetime of ingrained habit and expectation are two different things. rejecting heaven and rejecting shame and fear are two different things. when crowley says, we have to choose our faces wisely, he is saying, we have to choose whether to hide, or whether to be who we are. and aziraphale gets on the bus with him, and sits next to him, and goes home with him. that’s aziraphale’s coming out. that’s aziraphale, quite quietly and quite bravely, finding the strength to be who he is - who heaven didn’t want him to be. to choose crowley over everything he has held onto that made him hesitate to choose crowley. to choose himself over everything other people told him to be. 

and then aziraphale goes to hell for crowley and faces the fear he held onto for so long: what would happen if i fell? and here they are: weak, cowardly, pathetic. aziraphale is stronger than hell in every sense of the word. and at the same time, crowley goes back and faces the family who cast him out, the family he has wondered about for so long - did he really deserve it? and he finds after all this time that they are cruel, cold, unloving. he doesn’t want them. he has freedom: he has love. 

it’s a fucking queer mood babey! 

>>and then aziraphale goes to hell for crowley and faces the fear he held onto for so long: what would happen if i fell? and here they are: weak, cowardly, pathetic. aziraphale is stronger than hell in every sense of the word. and at the same time, crowley goes back and faces the family who cast him out, the family he has wondered about for so long - did he really deserve it? and he finds after all this time that they are cruel, cold, unloving. he doesn’t want them. he has freedom: he has love. 

OH MY STARS AND GARTERS, THIS IS IT, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY IT, YOU ARE SO RIGHT, THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT

This is so brilliant, I suddenly find myself experiencing the one time in my life when this statement fits perfectly, so allow me a moment to savor it.

HOLY HELL.