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updates from the middle-aged
May. 27th, 2020 05:27 pmvia https://ift.tt/2yBXV8L
ok so
either hose water has gotten WAY COLDER since I was a kid (unlikely)
or I am WAY LESS TOUGH than I ever was as a tot
because holy FUCK
we just filled a kiddie pool and I was like “hey kids I’m gonna do a science experiment about fluid displacement” and I stood in the pool and my feet went numb. “oh weird,” I said to myself, but like, i’m doing this for science, so I got down on my knees. My lower legs went numb. “Dang,”I said, and then, because I am a GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT, I proceeded to SIT MY ELEPHANTINE ASS DOWN and overflow the half-full kiddie pool, like I’d planned all along
“AH HA HA CH- CHE-CHECK TH TH TH THAT OUT KIDS” I said, as my jaw locked up and my entire lower body went totally fucking numb
OK OK OK OK OK I thought, and then was like, I don’t know if I can get up, and then was like, how the fuck do kids play in these pools, and then
well I made it, and then I hosed myself off the rest of the way because I hate a half-wet bathing suit, and THE NOISES I MADE
how TF did I EVER run through a SPRINKLER of that shit on PURPOSE and like, for HOURS
I don’t know man, I don’t know, it was brutal
but all my fat reserves are chilled through which means I’ll be comfortable the rest of the day, thanks. :)
ok so
either hose water has gotten WAY COLDER since I was a kid (unlikely)
or I am WAY LESS TOUGH than I ever was as a tot
because holy FUCK
we just filled a kiddie pool and I was like “hey kids I’m gonna do a science experiment about fluid displacement” and I stood in the pool and my feet went numb. “oh weird,” I said to myself, but like, i’m doing this for science, so I got down on my knees. My lower legs went numb. “Dang,”I said, and then, because I am a GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT, I proceeded to SIT MY ELEPHANTINE ASS DOWN and overflow the half-full kiddie pool, like I’d planned all along
“AH HA HA CH- CHE-CHECK TH TH TH THAT OUT KIDS” I said, as my jaw locked up and my entire lower body went totally fucking numb
OK OK OK OK OK I thought, and then was like, I don’t know if I can get up, and then was like, how the fuck do kids play in these pools, and then
well I made it, and then I hosed myself off the rest of the way because I hate a half-wet bathing suit, and THE NOISES I MADE
how TF did I EVER run through a SPRINKLER of that shit on PURPOSE and like, for HOURS
I don’t know man, I don’t know, it was brutal
but all my fat reserves are chilled through which means I’ll be comfortable the rest of the day, thanks. :)
