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grace-and-ace:
quartermasterd:
Honestly I wonder how many aces with sex drives actually thought they were bi/pan before discovering the term asexual?
I wonder how many aces thought, “huh, sex sounds alright, and I get turned on while thinking about sex no matter the gender of the person, so that must mean I’m bi/pan.”
Because for me, that’s exactly how it was - before I learned what sexual attraction actually was, that having sexual desire for somebody who WASN’T engaged in a sexual act was actually a thing, I thought I was bi simply because sex with any gender was appealing. It was the stimulation, not the person.
Same thing for aromantics interested in life partnerships/QP relationships, who thought that wanting that intimacy with somebody and not caring what gender they were.
That kind of journey of self discovery is just as important as feeling broken before discovering the terms asexuality and aromanticism; don’t let anybody invalidate you because of your past identities, or for having a sex drive/want for a intimate relationship. You’re beautiful and valid and so important!
Yes!!!!! RELATABLE CONTENT!!!
Oh my gosh, this! I’m sort of realizing as I get older that I’m on the verge of being autochrissexual, which is when you’re super into sex but there’s kind of a divide between you and having it? I kind of tend that way. [Don’t get me wrong, I’m super into the sex I actually have! but a high percentage of the sex in my life is in my head! and a lot of the stuff that really revs me up in my head is not stuff I ever actually want to do in real life, even in fantasy/play kind of settings!]
And I know a bunch of bi/pan people– I only know (cis-ish-mostly-ish?) women like what this post is talking about, but, y'know, context and sample size– who have, like me, sort of poked confusedly at the “demi” or “ace” label, and– I really feel like the spectrum that direction is poorly described. I have never really liked the bi or demi labels even though if you squint while reading the description, that’s me, or as close as I’m ever described– but bisexuality is so often very poorly described by people who totally don’t understand it. It’s not the opposite of asexuality at all! It’s absolutely on a continuum with it.
People who aren’t invested in the specifics of their potential partners’ genitals, but are just interested in the connection– that’s bisexuality to a T, but isn’t at all how bisexuality is popularly understood.
I just spent a really long time scrolling to find this post again, because i had to add my inarticulate two cents to it.
grace-and-ace:
quartermasterd:
Honestly I wonder how many aces with sex drives actually thought they were bi/pan before discovering the term asexual?
I wonder how many aces thought, “huh, sex sounds alright, and I get turned on while thinking about sex no matter the gender of the person, so that must mean I’m bi/pan.”
Because for me, that’s exactly how it was - before I learned what sexual attraction actually was, that having sexual desire for somebody who WASN’T engaged in a sexual act was actually a thing, I thought I was bi simply because sex with any gender was appealing. It was the stimulation, not the person.
Same thing for aromantics interested in life partnerships/QP relationships, who thought that wanting that intimacy with somebody and not caring what gender they were.
That kind of journey of self discovery is just as important as feeling broken before discovering the terms asexuality and aromanticism; don’t let anybody invalidate you because of your past identities, or for having a sex drive/want for a intimate relationship. You’re beautiful and valid and so important!
Yes!!!!! RELATABLE CONTENT!!!
Oh my gosh, this! I’m sort of realizing as I get older that I’m on the verge of being autochrissexual, which is when you’re super into sex but there’s kind of a divide between you and having it? I kind of tend that way. [Don’t get me wrong, I’m super into the sex I actually have! but a high percentage of the sex in my life is in my head! and a lot of the stuff that really revs me up in my head is not stuff I ever actually want to do in real life, even in fantasy/play kind of settings!]
And I know a bunch of bi/pan people– I only know (cis-ish-mostly-ish?) women like what this post is talking about, but, y'know, context and sample size– who have, like me, sort of poked confusedly at the “demi” or “ace” label, and– I really feel like the spectrum that direction is poorly described. I have never really liked the bi or demi labels even though if you squint while reading the description, that’s me, or as close as I’m ever described– but bisexuality is so often very poorly described by people who totally don’t understand it. It’s not the opposite of asexuality at all! It’s absolutely on a continuum with it.
People who aren’t invested in the specifics of their potential partners’ genitals, but are just interested in the connection– that’s bisexuality to a T, but isn’t at all how bisexuality is popularly understood.
I just spent a really long time scrolling to find this post again, because i had to add my inarticulate two cents to it.
