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god help me why am i wondering about the sanitary facilities on x-wings? and the probable side effects of the stimulants you’d have to take for a multi-day mission, and how you’d definitely experience GI side effects?
“So um.” Finn had not contemplated the logistics of being in an X-Wing for more than a few hours. He knew they wore compression gear under the flight suits, to keep circulation to their extremities even without gravity. But he hadn’t really thought about anything beyond that.
“There’s no lavatory,” Poe said. “You gotta wear a piss bag. It’s not as glamorous as it looks in the holos.”
“Four days,” Finn said.
“You don’t want to know what my digestive system’s like after all these years,” Poe said. “I don’t know that I really want to have this conversation in the nominal presence of food.”
“Holy shit,” Finn said.
“It’s really not,” Poe said.
[…]
Poe grabbed one of Finn’s hands with both of his, and his hands were freezing cold and shaking. “Hey. Hey, it’s okay, man. I do this a lot. It’s– I’ll let you know if anything happens that isn’t totally normal. I’m gonna– I’m gonna go to the shitter now. You can go on about your day. If you want, come check on me in like an hour. I might have passed out in there. Okay?”
“I could come with you,” Finn said.
“You don’t want to be anywhere near this when it happens,” Poe said. “It’s sweet of you to offer.”
“I’m a stormtrooper,” Finn reminded him, “we have literally no notion of privacy. I cannot tell you how weird it is for me to go into a room by myself to shit. I’m used to doing that socially. We had, like, schedules.”
“Don’t make me laugh,” Poe said, giggling helplessly. “Oh– oh no, don’t make me laugh.”
“I’m dead fucking serious,” Finn said. “If you want me to come hold your hand while you take a monster shit that is not in any way weird to me and it weirds me the fuck out that it is to you. Stormtroopers never went through that shit alone. Literally. You were never alone.”
“Shit,” Poe said, “if you make me laugh any more I’m not going to make it.”
Finn stood up and held out his hand. “I will get you there,” he said.
god help me why am i wondering about the sanitary facilities on x-wings? and the probable side effects of the stimulants you’d have to take for a multi-day mission, and how you’d definitely experience GI side effects?
“So um.” Finn had not contemplated the logistics of being in an X-Wing for more than a few hours. He knew they wore compression gear under the flight suits, to keep circulation to their extremities even without gravity. But he hadn’t really thought about anything beyond that.
“There’s no lavatory,” Poe said. “You gotta wear a piss bag. It’s not as glamorous as it looks in the holos.”
“Four days,” Finn said.
“You don’t want to know what my digestive system’s like after all these years,” Poe said. “I don’t know that I really want to have this conversation in the nominal presence of food.”
“Holy shit,” Finn said.
“It’s really not,” Poe said.
[…]
Poe grabbed one of Finn’s hands with both of his, and his hands were freezing cold and shaking. “Hey. Hey, it’s okay, man. I do this a lot. It’s– I’ll let you know if anything happens that isn’t totally normal. I’m gonna– I’m gonna go to the shitter now. You can go on about your day. If you want, come check on me in like an hour. I might have passed out in there. Okay?”
“I could come with you,” Finn said.
“You don’t want to be anywhere near this when it happens,” Poe said. “It’s sweet of you to offer.”
“I’m a stormtrooper,” Finn reminded him, “we have literally no notion of privacy. I cannot tell you how weird it is for me to go into a room by myself to shit. I’m used to doing that socially. We had, like, schedules.”
“Don’t make me laugh,” Poe said, giggling helplessly. “Oh– oh no, don’t make me laugh.”
“I’m dead fucking serious,” Finn said. “If you want me to come hold your hand while you take a monster shit that is not in any way weird to me and it weirds me the fuck out that it is to you. Stormtroopers never went through that shit alone. Literally. You were never alone.”
“Shit,” Poe said, “if you make me laugh any more I’m not going to make it.”
Finn stood up and held out his hand. “I will get you there,” he said.
Tags:
- crosspost,
- finn,
- i like realism in my fiction,
- i swear i'm not into this kind of shit,
- i'm not even kidding,
- it's the novel nobody asked for,
- never alone,
- poe dameron,
- poop tw,
- someone has to wonder about these things,
- star wars,
- sw: tfa,
- this is probably going to make the final,
- this is probably not going to get cut
