dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
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I am having the weirdest pain, and it’s recurring, but it’s not… severe? so I don’t know what to do about it.

I had it the other day, after a busy full day I sat down and knew I was sitting with poor posture and had to get up but I was so tired I didn’t, and then my back started hurting but not my lower back which is where I usually have trouble, it was more my middle-back, like just under where my ribcage ends. And it was sort of radiating and hard to define, so I started thinking maybe it was actually a tummyache? My sister told me it was probably gas, and I thought that likely, but it put me off my dinner something awful. I took ibuprofen and it resolved and I forgot about it.

But it came back yesterday; I was out and about and doing, and it was starting to bother me, like a backache except it didn’t matter if I stood or sat.

I went to bed early but stayed up reading, and as I was reading I kept flopping around trying to get comfortable, everything seemed to hurt my back, and i wished I had a comfy chair in the yurt. (I had one in my car, that I was moving for my sister, and I thought… hmm… that could live in here for a bit.. but I wasn’t going to go get it at ten pm.)

I finally tried to go to sleep and discovered to my distress that there was literally no position in my bed that was not painful. Flat on my back, I could feel my heartbeat in my back muscles and it was a throbbing kind of ache. On either side, I had to twist, and it wasn’t comfortable. The yurt’s mattress is not ideal, it’s too firm and that means my back ends up kinked when I sleep on my side or my front or my back, because of the various protrusions I have on my sides or back or front (hips, butt, boobs. alas, my butt is mostly flat but not all.) So that was miserable, and I wound up getting almost no sleep because of it. I would have taken advil or something but had none in the yurt; the closest bottle was in the barn first aid kit, and it was two in the morning and I was not going to trek out there in the wind and the cold and taking my yurt door all apart to get out. (Closing the windproof, heatproof, and waterproof layers all make rather a production out of entering and exiting the thing at night.)

It’s been bad today, too, and I haven’t wanted to take anything for it because I don’t understand what’s causing it. It could be my stomach, it could be my back muscles, I just don’t know, and it doesn’t hurt any more or less whether I stand or sit, stay still or move. I did sit-ups, to no effect either way. It gets more noticeably sore when I stand a long time, but sitting down doesn’t relieve it.

The thing is, it’s not bad, and I can work through it, but it’s distracting and the longer it goes on the more frantic it makes some little part of me. My heart was just racing last night, and I couldn’t slow it, because I was just in such distress. It’s probably no more than like a 3 or 4 on the pain scale, but it’s so constant and unrelieved– ugh!

My heart goes out to anyone who has any kind of chronic pain, I’m such a wimp about this I can’t even stand it.

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dragonlady7: self-portrait but it's mostly the DSLR in my hands in the mirror (Default)
dragonlady7

January 2024

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