haiku as consolation...
Jul. 11th, 2003 08:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7OK, the following is the summation of an entire day exchanging haiku via email. I've added explanatory haiku in [square brackets] where they're not evident. Otherwise, haiku with a > in front of each line are by me, and those without are by Dave.
Brett's gone to let in
catamaran repairman.
Dave unproductive.
Nobody cares if
this documentation is
written. Bored to tears.
@method, @abstract, and
@discussion tags are coming
out of my poor ears.
I should probably
return to BBEdit:
bringer of dismay.
....
Mission accomplished.
Noodge-fu is strong with this one.
Brett's writing docs now.
> Heh heh heh heh heh.
> Brilliant noodge you are indeed.
> Congratulations.
Brett turns to me, says:
'Don't know what my code does here.'
I don't know either.
________
[I packed lunch for Dave:
metal Superman lunchbox.
A special lunch treat.]
Superman Kleinschmidt
opens Superman lunch box,
sees what Lois packed.
'Yum!' says he, 'Roast beef!
...with horseradish and cheddar!
Super appetite.
'Gosh, Miss Lane is great,'
thinks Clark Kent, downing Cheetos,
opening pop can.
Our hero perks up.
He hears distant cry for help!
An emergency!
Up, up and away!
Superman will save the day!
Hero on the scene!
Who's this we see
menacing Metropolis?
Jameson himself!
'Get back to work,' says he.
'But how did he find me out?'
Thinks protagonist.
He looks down and sees
a three-piece suit and not tights!
Forgot phone booth stop!
Hanging head in shame,
Clark Kent returns to his work.
And the pop is flat.
[i express distress:
such a sad ending, surely
Superman's flat pop.]
Superman cares not
that the Orangina is flat.
Intestines of steel.
____________
> throw out three months' work
> despite total compliance:
> my boss is crazy.
Fuck your crazy boss!
His mere presence oppresses
proletariat!
> An amen to that
> but no good can come of it:
> see, my boss is nuts.
>
> dispiritedly
> I watch iTunes playcount stats,
> pondering escape.
>
> my brain so far gone
> I don't know what's really true
> and what they just say.
>
> surely the real world
> is not solely made up of
> incompetent twits.
Take heart, Grasshopper.
The job may be miserable,
but the pay is good.
> is the pay that good?
> i now have no self-esteem,
> and can't pay my bills.
>
> as pay mounts, cost mounts.
> if they give me a pay raise,
> i'll be on the street!
>
> miserable job
> saps will to live, enjoy;
> see, my boss is nuts.
A recurring theme:
Boss is manic; you're depressed.
So you both need shrinks.
> if he had a shrink
> and some freakin' medicine
> my troubles would leave.
Put shrink in duck blind
behind [boss]'s ficus tree:
subliminal help.
> lack of a ficus
> dooms that plan right from the start:
> can't wish nut better.
Dress shrink as ficus
so [your boss] gets assistance
ficological.
>ficological?
>it may not be sufficient;
>the madness runs deep.
....
> my consolation:
> a cute, bright, funny boyfriend
> who writes me haikus.
Cute, bright, funny guy
poses, cape flowing in wind,
then gets back to work.
> adorable boy:
> a sole point of light in an
> otherwise gray week.
> Will you really pose for me in a cape?
No majestic wind,
no cape, no rippling muscles...
Alas, no grand pose.
> a window's box fan,
> a securely wrapped towel:
> slender Superman.
That's a special treat.
We'll see what I can do, then,
if you're a good girl.
>i'm such a good girl
>so exemplary, even;
>please don't deny me.
[side note: he denies.
no love for a patient girl.
Hang head in sadness.]
Brett's gone to let in
catamaran repairman.
Dave unproductive.
Nobody cares if
this documentation is
written. Bored to tears.
@method, @abstract, and
@discussion tags are coming
out of my poor ears.
I should probably
return to BBEdit:
bringer of dismay.
....
Mission accomplished.
Noodge-fu is strong with this one.
Brett's writing docs now.
> Heh heh heh heh heh.
> Brilliant noodge you are indeed.
> Congratulations.
Brett turns to me, says:
'Don't know what my code does here.'
I don't know either.
________
[I packed lunch for Dave:
metal Superman lunchbox.
A special lunch treat.]
Superman Kleinschmidt
opens Superman lunch box,
sees what Lois packed.
'Yum!' says he, 'Roast beef!
...with horseradish and cheddar!
Super appetite.
'Gosh, Miss Lane is great,'
thinks Clark Kent, downing Cheetos,
opening pop can.
Our hero perks up.
He hears distant cry for help!
An emergency!
Up, up and away!
Superman will save the day!
Hero on the scene!
Who's this we see
menacing Metropolis?
Jameson himself!
'Get back to work,' says he.
'But how did he find me out?'
Thinks protagonist.
He looks down and sees
a three-piece suit and not tights!
Forgot phone booth stop!
Hanging head in shame,
Clark Kent returns to his work.
And the pop is flat.
[i express distress:
such a sad ending, surely
Superman's flat pop.]
Superman cares not
that the Orangina is flat.
Intestines of steel.
____________
> throw out three months' work
> despite total compliance:
> my boss is crazy.
Fuck your crazy boss!
His mere presence oppresses
proletariat!
> An amen to that
> but no good can come of it:
> see, my boss is nuts.
>
> dispiritedly
> I watch iTunes playcount stats,
> pondering escape.
>
> my brain so far gone
> I don't know what's really true
> and what they just say.
>
> surely the real world
> is not solely made up of
> incompetent twits.
Take heart, Grasshopper.
The job may be miserable,
but the pay is good.
> is the pay that good?
> i now have no self-esteem,
> and can't pay my bills.
>
> as pay mounts, cost mounts.
> if they give me a pay raise,
> i'll be on the street!
>
> miserable job
> saps will to live, enjoy;
> see, my boss is nuts.
A recurring theme:
Boss is manic; you're depressed.
So you both need shrinks.
> if he had a shrink
> and some freakin' medicine
> my troubles would leave.
Put shrink in duck blind
behind [boss]'s ficus tree:
subliminal help.
> lack of a ficus
> dooms that plan right from the start:
> can't wish nut better.
Dress shrink as ficus
so [your boss] gets assistance
ficological.
>ficological?
>it may not be sufficient;
>the madness runs deep.
....
> my consolation:
> a cute, bright, funny boyfriend
> who writes me haikus.
Cute, bright, funny guy
poses, cape flowing in wind,
then gets back to work.
> adorable boy:
> a sole point of light in an
> otherwise gray week.
> Will you really pose for me in a cape?
No majestic wind,
no cape, no rippling muscles...
Alas, no grand pose.
> a window's box fan,
> a securely wrapped towel:
> slender Superman.
That's a special treat.
We'll see what I can do, then,
if you're a good girl.
>i'm such a good girl
>so exemplary, even;
>please don't deny me.
[side note: he denies.
no love for a patient girl.
Hang head in sadness.]
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no subject
Date: 2003-07-11 06:40 am (UTC)My two favorites have to be
Superman cares not
that the Orangina is flat.
Intestines of steel.
and
Fuck your crazy boss!
His mere presence oppresses
proletariat!
Nothing like cursing your boss in haiku ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-07-11 09:07 pm (UTC)