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Oct. 16th, 2002 12:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7I don't know whether this is a victory or a defeat, but I just broke down, looked up an easy workout online, and actually followed it. It was a wussy 30-minute all-purpose one, but I was just feeling so ... icky, dumpy, and thoroughly lacking in muscle tone... that i had to do something, and there was no way I was going for a jog in Jersey City on a rainy cold day in the middle of a Latino/black ghetto. (Dave, his landlord, and the old lady downstairs are the only white people in the neighborhood, except for Latinos who somehow know their own but I can't tell the difference with most of 'em until they start talking.) Don't get me wrong, it's not as bad a place to live as Dave would have you believe when he's in a glum mood; I like it fine, I'm just not going to go out in it in a white t-shirt that will then get wet, and shorts, and doing something that will by its very nature make my boobs jiggle even in my Super-Duper-Uber-Constricting-Sports-Bra-For-Huge-Breasted-Women. Nope, no, uh-uh, not me. It's not the kind of neighborhood where I wouldn't be safe, mind you. I'd just get yowled at a lot. It's hard enough to walk to the Light Rail in jeans (there's a construction site there, and they're very, very friendly)-- I don't mind that, but when I'm out for a jog I'm in pain and hate the world and do NOT want to be sociable and friendly and pointed and laughed at.
So, I wimped out, and looked up a wussy workout linked to from AOL, of all places. Hell, they've got so many readers they HAVE to be reputable. That's what they do! They're like, Internet, only cleaned, sanitized, edited, free of any deep or emotional content, and with the actual functioning bits removed for your own protection.
So anyhow, I did such baroque monstrosities as leg lifts and tricep dips, and now I'm virtuously eating peanut butter crackers. Hey, man. Peanut butter with crackers or bread forms a complete protein, and costs nearly nothing. If you do it right you can live very well on it.
I just... I noticed that my favorite pair of underpants fit tighter than it used to, and yesterday my knee hurt all day, and I thought, God damn it, I'm getting old and fat, and I'm not even a quarter-century old yet. I cannot stand to go up a clothes size, not at this point in my life. No more fencing means I have to do something...
Well, we'll see. Living with a 6' 3" hybrid piranha/stick insect isn't helping me any. He has to eat massive quantities of food to preserve his metabolic equilibrium, and then sits completely motionless (except for mouse finger) for hours at a time to preserve energy. If I emulate him, I'll become Jabba the Hutt. And while he assures me that tummy flab is cute, I think it's kind of like alligators-- only cute when little. I don't fancy haunting any sewers.
So, victory or defeat? I don't know. More... pyrrhic than anything else.
Oh great. you know what's happening? It's just making my appetite increase. Stoppit, I can't afford any more food! Don't make me want to eat all the time! Live off those reserves! Dammit, that's why I have them! Watch it, missy, or I'll keep feeding you plain oatmeal. There's more where that came from. Yargh!
We interrupt this livejournal post to inform you that the author has just gone insane and will be summarily locked in the closet with the winter coats until she calms down.
So, I wimped out, and looked up a wussy workout linked to from AOL, of all places. Hell, they've got so many readers they HAVE to be reputable. That's what they do! They're like, Internet, only cleaned, sanitized, edited, free of any deep or emotional content, and with the actual functioning bits removed for your own protection.
So anyhow, I did such baroque monstrosities as leg lifts and tricep dips, and now I'm virtuously eating peanut butter crackers. Hey, man. Peanut butter with crackers or bread forms a complete protein, and costs nearly nothing. If you do it right you can live very well on it.
I just... I noticed that my favorite pair of underpants fit tighter than it used to, and yesterday my knee hurt all day, and I thought, God damn it, I'm getting old and fat, and I'm not even a quarter-century old yet. I cannot stand to go up a clothes size, not at this point in my life. No more fencing means I have to do something...
Well, we'll see. Living with a 6' 3" hybrid piranha/stick insect isn't helping me any. He has to eat massive quantities of food to preserve his metabolic equilibrium, and then sits completely motionless (except for mouse finger) for hours at a time to preserve energy. If I emulate him, I'll become Jabba the Hutt. And while he assures me that tummy flab is cute, I think it's kind of like alligators-- only cute when little. I don't fancy haunting any sewers.
So, victory or defeat? I don't know. More... pyrrhic than anything else.
Oh great. you know what's happening? It's just making my appetite increase. Stoppit, I can't afford any more food! Don't make me want to eat all the time! Live off those reserves! Dammit, that's why I have them! Watch it, missy, or I'll keep feeding you plain oatmeal. There's more where that came from. Yargh!
We interrupt this livejournal post to inform you that the author has just gone insane and will be summarily locked in the closet with the winter coats until she calms down.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2002-10-16 11:50 am (UTC)Well, I'm not getting any more work done today...
Seriously, though, the single easiest thing you can do to lose weight and not have an appetite is to drink lots and lots of water, especially if you're going to be exercising. Cannot overstress the water drinking. Eight cups a day, or more, no bull.
Re:
Date: 2002-10-16 11:59 am (UTC)Phooey.
no subject
Date: 2002-10-16 12:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-10-16 12:26 pm (UTC)You've never seen one of these things. They're scary. And they... they're scary! And yet-- and yet-- they don't WORK!!
My sister Ann's track workouts are a source of never-ending entertainment for the entire boys' varsity soccer team. I don't like to think just how never-ending....
eugh.
and she's only a D! I'm two more D's on top of that. It boggles my mind that we can put a man on the moon but can't come up with a better way to keep a well-endowed woman from knocking her own teeth out should she ever need to move faster than a walk.
no subject
Date: 2002-10-16 12:55 pm (UTC)Jessica Rabbit: You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.
Eddie Valiant : You don't know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do.
no subject
Date: 2002-10-18 06:24 am (UTC)i haven't seen roger rabbit in years. i think i might've been too little to get the joke when i saw that movie last.
:-D
ha HA, I'm responding even tho' I'm not a LiveJournal User!!
Fiona
Re: ha HA, I'm responding even tho' I'm not a LiveJournal User!!
Date: 2002-10-18 06:23 am (UTC)Uh. It was in a more recent entry than this one. If you notice, I wrote this before I talked to you.
So, skip ahead two entries, and that's the entry that you're in. (You're behind a cut. Click the link and the entry continues.)