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Jul. 23rd, 2011 07:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7My cousin doesn't live in Oslo anymore. I spoke to my Mom last week and he's up in the Finnmark, and the other two are still living in Bergen. I think. I think.
I'm trying not to think about it too hard right now.
I'm not reading anything about what happened in Norway because I can't think about it. Selfish, maybe. I'm not going to send any frantic messages or anything, because I know none of my family was in Oslo, or anywhere near it.
I hope.
Yesterday I bit the inside of my mouth so hard that there's a bruise visible on the outside of my cheek. I've never heard of that ever happening before. I tried to get a picture but it just looks like a shadow. It's a deep blue bruise. It's noticeable when I talk to people, because several people have innocently told me I had some dirt on my face. No, it's a bruise.
It hurts a lot, but more than the pain, it just feels wrong. Ugh. I bit right through the lining of my mouth, I think. I didn't know that would happen.
I worked today, which was an excruciating mix of boredness and stress. I don't know why. I just think I really need a break. It didn't help that it was 82 indoors. I'm really, really glad for the air conditioning at Z's mom's house. I am trying to be gentle with myself. I don't know why i need so much tenderness at the moment. I've been annoyingly delicate all year. Like really literally all of 2011. Maybe even beyond that. It's annoying.
I am taking some meds, the tiniest baby dose of Citalopram. The doctor doubled it last month, so it's like a twin-baby dose now. I had no response to the first batch of it-- any easing in my depression I figured was more likely to be due to a relief of stress after the end of the derby season and a much greater exposure to sunshine. And there was some easing, sure, but not really much. The only thing I've noticed now on the higher dose is that I definitely am having some of those sexual side effects they talk about. Boo, that's not pleasant. Minor so far, and sorry if that's TMI, but I feel like I should mention them, since this is after all a journal.
I did have a lovely day yesterday, though. Liesl visited, and we spent the day crafting. First we dyed a number of things different shades of blue, which was fun. I managed not to dye my fingernails until the very end, so they're just the palest shade of blue underneath right now. It doesn't look too bad. Then we drank beer and I drew an incredibly involved stencil of the Kingdom of Aethelmearc's escarbuncle logo, which Liesl cut out with impressive Exacto dexterity. (It looks like this.) Also got a lot of sewing done. Gotta see how much I can get done before Pennsic... I'm hopeful that I'll be well-prepared. I'm guessing it's going to be a hot one.
Ugh I think I might go ice my face to see if that helps this! Bummer, I didn't intend this post to be quite so whiny. Oh well, I gotta do what I do, I guess.
I'm trying not to think about it too hard right now.
I'm not reading anything about what happened in Norway because I can't think about it. Selfish, maybe. I'm not going to send any frantic messages or anything, because I know none of my family was in Oslo, or anywhere near it.
I hope.
Yesterday I bit the inside of my mouth so hard that there's a bruise visible on the outside of my cheek. I've never heard of that ever happening before. I tried to get a picture but it just looks like a shadow. It's a deep blue bruise. It's noticeable when I talk to people, because several people have innocently told me I had some dirt on my face. No, it's a bruise.
It hurts a lot, but more than the pain, it just feels wrong. Ugh. I bit right through the lining of my mouth, I think. I didn't know that would happen.
I worked today, which was an excruciating mix of boredness and stress. I don't know why. I just think I really need a break. It didn't help that it was 82 indoors. I'm really, really glad for the air conditioning at Z's mom's house. I am trying to be gentle with myself. I don't know why i need so much tenderness at the moment. I've been annoyingly delicate all year. Like really literally all of 2011. Maybe even beyond that. It's annoying.
I am taking some meds, the tiniest baby dose of Citalopram. The doctor doubled it last month, so it's like a twin-baby dose now. I had no response to the first batch of it-- any easing in my depression I figured was more likely to be due to a relief of stress after the end of the derby season and a much greater exposure to sunshine. And there was some easing, sure, but not really much. The only thing I've noticed now on the higher dose is that I definitely am having some of those sexual side effects they talk about. Boo, that's not pleasant. Minor so far, and sorry if that's TMI, but I feel like I should mention them, since this is after all a journal.
I did have a lovely day yesterday, though. Liesl visited, and we spent the day crafting. First we dyed a number of things different shades of blue, which was fun. I managed not to dye my fingernails until the very end, so they're just the palest shade of blue underneath right now. It doesn't look too bad. Then we drank beer and I drew an incredibly involved stencil of the Kingdom of Aethelmearc's escarbuncle logo, which Liesl cut out with impressive Exacto dexterity. (It looks like this.) Also got a lot of sewing done. Gotta see how much I can get done before Pennsic... I'm hopeful that I'll be well-prepared. I'm guessing it's going to be a hot one.
Ugh I think I might go ice my face to see if that helps this! Bummer, I didn't intend this post to be quite so whiny. Oh well, I gotta do what I do, I guess.
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Date: 2011-07-24 01:55 am (UTC)(And if hugs aren't welcome, then I'll think of something else.)
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Date: 2011-07-24 03:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-24 05:37 am (UTC)You did a good job on your cheek! If you have a vitamin k Sup lying around, take some! It will help! If you have arnica that will really help!
We used to give people bruises like that at the dentist from time to time, ice might make it feel better. More beer Will!
My Nethers was dry as a desert when I was on celexa, KY was helpful but olive oil was better! Hugs and sorry for the TMI!!
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Date: 2011-07-24 09:46 pm (UTC)I don't really have that particular problem with my nethers, so I'm very grateful for that at least-- oh, don't be sorry for the TMI, I brought it up! At least I can still enjoy what's going on, and i still have an appetite for it, I'm just not quite as... reactive to it as usual, but oh well, it could definitely be much worse than it is.
I'm not drinking beer but I am converting some of the simple syrup I just made into a whiskey sour, so I am definitely not in a complaining mood anymore. :)
no subject
Date: 2011-07-24 06:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-24 12:16 pm (UTC)I hope some sense comes of all this. What an awful thing. I'm so glad at least you-all are safe, for what that's worth.
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Date: 2011-08-01 12:50 pm (UTC)I think I am the person that updates Aleksander on his family in the states from what I read on your blog. He always claims that I know more about you guys than he does (which is silly because he has his own LJ, but he refuses to use it).