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dragonlady7via http://ift.tt/2gve1Gm:unsureprincess replied to your post “my drafts folder is a fucking nightmare. oh my god. it’s like 1500…”
Just so you know I have ADHD and I have over 18k posts in my drafts. It’s a struggle.
i’m still only at like… I’m down to 1200ish, but. You can’t go back any appreciable amount of time, there’s no way to categorize things, if you scroll long enough Chrome just crashes. And the draft folder is just one symptom. The state of my house is another. I don’t know what that is, but if you give me a pile of like, fifteen objects, I will maybe figure out what to do with one of them, and then the other fourteen I will obsessively sort into categories, then shove back into one pile and push back to the back of the desk, because I don’t know what to do. Repeat that times every single flat surface in my home, and you get my life. I don’t know if you can fix that, I sure don’t know what else to do about it.
My gdocs folder is similarly amazingly awful. It’s really really really bad. I don’t know how to use the folders feature on there so everything is just– in the main folder, and they all have descriptive titles like “chapter 9″… bitch I have fifty WIPs, I don’t know chapter nine of what, but that’s actually better than the alternative. I should post a screenshot of the titles because it’s fucking hilarious.
jay-linden replied to your post “lurkingteapot replied to your post “my drafts folder is a fucking…”
Psychiatrist. Yes. Do it. So worth it. My journey to ADHD diagnosis story is probably too long to fit in a reply, but the short version is once I actually saw a p-doc and got properly diagnosed and medicated, my life changed. The previous 30 years of my life all of a sudden made sense, and things got better because I had a diagnosis which meant I got to have a PLAN. So if it’s possible for you? Do it. I’d put money on you not regretting it.
Does medication even really help, though? Is there medication that can help? I sometimes feel like this is all just– me, though, and there’d be no other way for me to be. I can behave differently in different circumstances for short periods of time, but any time I am in one place for any amount of time, it becomes a disaster around me just like everything else. And i mean, virtual places, real places, my car, my wardrobe. I don’t wear jewelry anymore because finding a set of it is too hard. I wear the same four outfits over and over because I can’t find anything else.
Sure, I used to be better, but not much. Maybe I wasn’t, I just felt better about it.
I got medicated for depression, and everyone said I should, and it sort of helped? i sort of felt like maybe? it was a little? no? Not really. No, it didn’t really do much, in the end, and then my prescription ran out and I cold-turkeyed myself off it, ill-advisedly. All it did was make me gain 30 pounds irreversibly and then really suck when I stopped taking it (I got the dreaded brain zaps, they were unpleasant as fuck). I didn’t really feel any better, at any point. And maybe it’s that I didn’t have depression in the first place, it was all just ADHD complications? But I still felt like it should have done *something*. And maybe it did but it was so subtle, I can’t see how that was worthwhile.
But maybe if there was some kind of plan. I just. I don’t know what to put in a plan because I don’t know what I want because I don’t really want things, that’ just not– a thing that happens to me, anymore. It’s extremely hard to pull oneself up by one’s bootstraps when one a) doesn’t have boots with straps and b) isn’t sure which direction is really up? and c) is unclear on what is supposed to be accomplished by this.
Sorry, this is really dumb whining, but I’m trying to get my thoughts out and look at them because if I don’t write them down I forget i had them and then it’s like I’ve constantly just woken up from a nap with incredibly vivid dreams I’ve forgotten, so I’m still in this mode of intense emotion but I have no idea why. I literally live my life like that, moment to moment, always still reacting to something I’ve forgotten, so it’s very high-stakes but there’s never any resolution.
Just so you know I have ADHD and I have over 18k posts in my drafts. It’s a struggle.
i’m still only at like… I’m down to 1200ish, but. You can’t go back any appreciable amount of time, there’s no way to categorize things, if you scroll long enough Chrome just crashes. And the draft folder is just one symptom. The state of my house is another. I don’t know what that is, but if you give me a pile of like, fifteen objects, I will maybe figure out what to do with one of them, and then the other fourteen I will obsessively sort into categories, then shove back into one pile and push back to the back of the desk, because I don’t know what to do. Repeat that times every single flat surface in my home, and you get my life. I don’t know if you can fix that, I sure don’t know what else to do about it.
My gdocs folder is similarly amazingly awful. It’s really really really bad. I don’t know how to use the folders feature on there so everything is just– in the main folder, and they all have descriptive titles like “chapter 9″… bitch I have fifty WIPs, I don’t know chapter nine of what, but that’s actually better than the alternative. I should post a screenshot of the titles because it’s fucking hilarious.
jay-linden replied to your post “lurkingteapot replied to your post “my drafts folder is a fucking…”
Psychiatrist. Yes. Do it. So worth it. My journey to ADHD diagnosis story is probably too long to fit in a reply, but the short version is once I actually saw a p-doc and got properly diagnosed and medicated, my life changed. The previous 30 years of my life all of a sudden made sense, and things got better because I had a diagnosis which meant I got to have a PLAN. So if it’s possible for you? Do it. I’d put money on you not regretting it.
Does medication even really help, though? Is there medication that can help? I sometimes feel like this is all just– me, though, and there’d be no other way for me to be. I can behave differently in different circumstances for short periods of time, but any time I am in one place for any amount of time, it becomes a disaster around me just like everything else. And i mean, virtual places, real places, my car, my wardrobe. I don’t wear jewelry anymore because finding a set of it is too hard. I wear the same four outfits over and over because I can’t find anything else.
Sure, I used to be better, but not much. Maybe I wasn’t, I just felt better about it.
I got medicated for depression, and everyone said I should, and it sort of helped? i sort of felt like maybe? it was a little? no? Not really. No, it didn’t really do much, in the end, and then my prescription ran out and I cold-turkeyed myself off it, ill-advisedly. All it did was make me gain 30 pounds irreversibly and then really suck when I stopped taking it (I got the dreaded brain zaps, they were unpleasant as fuck). I didn’t really feel any better, at any point. And maybe it’s that I didn’t have depression in the first place, it was all just ADHD complications? But I still felt like it should have done *something*. And maybe it did but it was so subtle, I can’t see how that was worthwhile.
But maybe if there was some kind of plan. I just. I don’t know what to put in a plan because I don’t know what I want because I don’t really want things, that’ just not– a thing that happens to me, anymore. It’s extremely hard to pull oneself up by one’s bootstraps when one a) doesn’t have boots with straps and b) isn’t sure which direction is really up? and c) is unclear on what is supposed to be accomplished by this.
Sorry, this is really dumb whining, but I’m trying to get my thoughts out and look at them because if I don’t write them down I forget i had them and then it’s like I’ve constantly just woken up from a nap with incredibly vivid dreams I’ve forgotten, so I’m still in this mode of intense emotion but I have no idea why. I literally live my life like that, moment to moment, always still reacting to something I’ve forgotten, so it’s very high-stakes but there’s never any resolution.
