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dragonlady7via http://ift.tt/2fBgkDO:
am up mega-early and at work mega-early because of taking a relative of Dude’s to the airport. i work near the airport, it’s just easier for me to do it and go in early. but it means i woke up an hour before my early alarm and lay there worrying about the State of the World.
a friend i hadn’t heard from in a while texted yesterday just to catch up, and express horror, and i said oh there’s all kinds of stuff about mobilizing to action and calling your reps and stuff on the internet, and he was like oh, can you send me some links? i just don’t know where to start. so i started collecting information to compile and sweet Christ, I’m instantly overwhelmed. I’ve had a good Let’s Resist brave face on but it’s not real at all.
So I lay in bed for an hour this morning getting increasingly inwardly frantic. (We need a leadership for the resistance. we need to stop panicking. we need to stop reacting and start pro-acting. we need better marketing! how did the fucking nazis get a slick cool ‘alt-right’ label and get lauded for their fucking fashion sense by fucking mother jones. what the fuck. how did being a decent fucking human being become so deeply uncool? oh god oh god. and there are a lot of good resources but also a lot of formless outrage and I am mostly just freaking out.)
I managed to drop dude’s auntie off at the airport all fine and dandy, on time even, no untowardness. Dude’s mom’s flight gets in at 10:30 pm tonight, so he’s got that errand to run.
I’m just totally overwhelmed by like, everything. I Avoidance-Coped last night by discovering the ¾ of a novel I wrote in December of last year, which I never published anywhere; I sent excerpts of it to a couple of people, and then told myself I’d file the serial numbers off it and make it an original novel and so I’ve had it sitting in the back of my mind as a thing that’d be really great to work on once my Shit Is Together. So I reread it last night, after almost a year away from it, which is great.
And I mean. For a first draft, it’s great. But. I don’t think it’ll be worth anything with the serial numbers filed off, and the main point of it is the plot climax which, of course, me being me, I hadn’t worked out, so. Mostly it’s. It’s not really that great. So. I greatly enjoyed the rereading; it has a great sense of atmosphere and a good characterization and some solid and concrete character moments. But. It’s not as great as I remembered it being.
So. Anxiety and disappointment, that’s me today. And Retail Hell Season has officially started; we’re deluged with bullshit and stress, and there’s no end to it, and that’s just how it’s going to be for the rest of 2016.
Ughhhh somehow I have managed to have too much and not enough coffee, at the same time.
am up mega-early and at work mega-early because of taking a relative of Dude’s to the airport. i work near the airport, it’s just easier for me to do it and go in early. but it means i woke up an hour before my early alarm and lay there worrying about the State of the World.
a friend i hadn’t heard from in a while texted yesterday just to catch up, and express horror, and i said oh there’s all kinds of stuff about mobilizing to action and calling your reps and stuff on the internet, and he was like oh, can you send me some links? i just don’t know where to start. so i started collecting information to compile and sweet Christ, I’m instantly overwhelmed. I’ve had a good Let’s Resist brave face on but it’s not real at all.
So I lay in bed for an hour this morning getting increasingly inwardly frantic. (We need a leadership for the resistance. we need to stop panicking. we need to stop reacting and start pro-acting. we need better marketing! how did the fucking nazis get a slick cool ‘alt-right’ label and get lauded for their fucking fashion sense by fucking mother jones. what the fuck. how did being a decent fucking human being become so deeply uncool? oh god oh god. and there are a lot of good resources but also a lot of formless outrage and I am mostly just freaking out.)
I managed to drop dude’s auntie off at the airport all fine and dandy, on time even, no untowardness. Dude’s mom’s flight gets in at 10:30 pm tonight, so he’s got that errand to run.
I’m just totally overwhelmed by like, everything. I Avoidance-Coped last night by discovering the ¾ of a novel I wrote in December of last year, which I never published anywhere; I sent excerpts of it to a couple of people, and then told myself I’d file the serial numbers off it and make it an original novel and so I’ve had it sitting in the back of my mind as a thing that’d be really great to work on once my Shit Is Together. So I reread it last night, after almost a year away from it, which is great.
And I mean. For a first draft, it’s great. But. I don’t think it’ll be worth anything with the serial numbers filed off, and the main point of it is the plot climax which, of course, me being me, I hadn’t worked out, so. Mostly it’s. It’s not really that great. So. I greatly enjoyed the rereading; it has a great sense of atmosphere and a good characterization and some solid and concrete character moments. But. It’s not as great as I remembered it being.
So. Anxiety and disappointment, that’s me today. And Retail Hell Season has officially started; we’re deluged with bullshit and stress, and there’s no end to it, and that’s just how it’s going to be for the rest of 2016.
Ughhhh somehow I have managed to have too much and not enough coffee, at the same time.
