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dragonlady7via http://ift.tt/2flINkr:
HOO BOY don’t go look at my Twitter feed. Currently I’m fighting with the Square Cash app and praising the USAA app. One, I’m trying to use to pay a debt, the other, I’m waiting for Roadside Assistance to get my keys out of my locked car.
(I put this in drafts, I was writing it this morning, and in the interim I made a shitload of holiday wreaths because the greens came in today so I’m crack-a-lackin’ on the holiday decor for $$$, man. I also made a pan of brownies, so today was a win. But, behind the cut is the Saga Of Locking My Keys In My Car And Almost Crying Over Broccoli, with Bonus Material About Pork.)
So. Fourteen pigs got processed at the end of october. The way it works in NY State, you need a USDA slaughterhouse process to sell individual parts, but if you do it as whole or half animals, you’re basically raising an animal for someone and having it slaughtered for them, then you can use a much less complicated/expensive process. So that’s how we do it, and we like it because the non-USDA slaughterhouse can actually kill the animals on the farm. So they literally never have any idea what’s happening, they don’t have to be loaded onto a truck for the first time in their lives and leave the farm where they were born, they don’t ever have a bad day, it’s the kindest possible way for them to die. (They get shot with a rifle, as it happens, wherever they happen to be, and the guy is really good and lines up the shot really well and the other pigs don’t get what’s going on really. It’s so quick and there’s not even an instant of realization. Just– happy pig, then bam, then meat.) They then cart the carcasses offsite and take a couple days cutting them up and getting the hams cured and such, and then we get them back in cardboard boxes.
And then customers come pick them up, but we had to subdivide them first. Only two people were getting whole hogs; everyone else was getting either halves or quarters, so we had to get some tubs and split each hog (the boxes were labeled with numbers) into a fair share (and, like. Customer A doesn’t want hot italian sausage, Customer B *only* wants hot and no sweet, Customer C wants half breakfast sausage and half hot, and also wants some lard (which we don’t charge for but also don’t give if not requested, Customer D wants no cured meats. That kind of shit). There was some confusion, it took us all morning, and it involved carrying a lot of 50-70-lb boxes around. There’s also no freezer onsite big enough, so we were using the walk-in cooler, which is only 40 degrees or so, so we were worried about the meat defrosting. ANYWAY.
My dude and I bought a quarter of a pig, and I meant to bring a check but forgot, and didn’t have enough cash. They could take a credit card but it takes a percentage, I’d rather do cash. I tried to use the SquareCash app, which Dude has and uses and swears by. And it refunded my payment in the middle of the night, after my sister had accepted it, so that was shady and annoying and obnoxious, and I had no recourse, there was no further information given. Lots of times things will be like “this looks shady, we refunded it, undo?” and you have some option. This had nothing, just a cheerful screen that says For your protection, we undid the thing you did, yay! I was so mad.
So Dude sent a payment from *his* app instead, and it forced my sister to download the app, and then the payment wasn’t in her app, and she couldn’t get it, so she was a little frustrated. I lost my shit on Twitter and sent them like five support requests. The app’s entire design premise is like, there’s only two buttons on this screen and if you don’t want to do either of those two things, fuck you. It’s INCREDIBLY frustrating. It’s probably super simple and easy if you want to do the expected thing! But it sucks fucking lukewarm donkey shit if you have an issue or question.
(Update: they *did* get back to me, but only to reiterate the uninformative error message, so I said, well, if you can’t tell me why it didn’t work, I can’t use your app, because if I make a transaction I expect it to happen, not to randomly be refunded. Tell me what I need to tell the thing, and I’ll do that, but don’t just decide for me whether my money ought to go where I sent it or not. Either your security measures are adequate, or they are not.)
MEANWHILE. I’m going to run errands yesterday, I’ve got a shitload of stuff to do. I go to my car. B-I-L had borrowed my car, and of course, when he’d locked the doors it had locked all of them and then when he unlocked them it only re-unlocked the driver’s door. I hate that about my car, but I can’t figure out how to change it. I put my purse in the backseat like, every day, and I always have to get my keys back out to unlock the back door, it’s fucking stupid, but whatever. So I ran out to my car to grab my raincoat out of it so I could go get some broccoli out of the field, my first errand– my eventual destination being my mother’s house, where I had been asked to bring broccoli to contribute to the meal. I go to open the back door, it’s locked. Ugh. Keys are on the front seat, which is standard farm practice– there are so many vehicles, and often they need to be moved, so you just leave the keys in them.
So I grab the keys from the front seat, mash the “unlock” button a couple of times– I swear to Christ I LOOKED, and made SURE it was the “unlock” button. Toss the key on the seat and shut the front door to walk around to the liftgate. Door shuts, beeps.
Why did the door beep.
It is locked. I locked the car. I used the Unlock button, and the car decided that meant I needed it locked. (I BLAME FAIRIES.) (WHAT THE FUCK THO)
However, I do have roadside assistance. So I waited until today, and called the number, and they sent a guy within an hour, and he showed up and was done so fast I didn’t have time to figure out what was going on really. It was impressive.
Oh my god I have been running around nonstop since early this morning and my whole body hurts. My smartwatch has a pedometer in it and when I’m in buffalo I average like, a pathetic amount of steps in a day. it’s like. Three thousand or something. Out here if I don’t make ten thousand steps it’s because I was standing in one place working all day and it didn’t count my shifts from foot to foot.
I’ll have to write a separate post about making wreaths, I think. This’ll do for today.
I’m just journaling now, sorry to anyone who thought I was going to be super interesting. Oh, the other thing that happened today was castrating the baby boars, I’ll definitely have to tell that story too. Some other time.
HOO BOY don’t go look at my Twitter feed. Currently I’m fighting with the Square Cash app and praising the USAA app. One, I’m trying to use to pay a debt, the other, I’m waiting for Roadside Assistance to get my keys out of my locked car.
(I put this in drafts, I was writing it this morning, and in the interim I made a shitload of holiday wreaths because the greens came in today so I’m crack-a-lackin’ on the holiday decor for $$$, man. I also made a pan of brownies, so today was a win. But, behind the cut is the Saga Of Locking My Keys In My Car And Almost Crying Over Broccoli, with Bonus Material About Pork.)
So. Fourteen pigs got processed at the end of october. The way it works in NY State, you need a USDA slaughterhouse process to sell individual parts, but if you do it as whole or half animals, you’re basically raising an animal for someone and having it slaughtered for them, then you can use a much less complicated/expensive process. So that’s how we do it, and we like it because the non-USDA slaughterhouse can actually kill the animals on the farm. So they literally never have any idea what’s happening, they don’t have to be loaded onto a truck for the first time in their lives and leave the farm where they were born, they don’t ever have a bad day, it’s the kindest possible way for them to die. (They get shot with a rifle, as it happens, wherever they happen to be, and the guy is really good and lines up the shot really well and the other pigs don’t get what’s going on really. It’s so quick and there’s not even an instant of realization. Just– happy pig, then bam, then meat.) They then cart the carcasses offsite and take a couple days cutting them up and getting the hams cured and such, and then we get them back in cardboard boxes.
And then customers come pick them up, but we had to subdivide them first. Only two people were getting whole hogs; everyone else was getting either halves or quarters, so we had to get some tubs and split each hog (the boxes were labeled with numbers) into a fair share (and, like. Customer A doesn’t want hot italian sausage, Customer B *only* wants hot and no sweet, Customer C wants half breakfast sausage and half hot, and also wants some lard (which we don’t charge for but also don’t give if not requested, Customer D wants no cured meats. That kind of shit). There was some confusion, it took us all morning, and it involved carrying a lot of 50-70-lb boxes around. There’s also no freezer onsite big enough, so we were using the walk-in cooler, which is only 40 degrees or so, so we were worried about the meat defrosting. ANYWAY.
My dude and I bought a quarter of a pig, and I meant to bring a check but forgot, and didn’t have enough cash. They could take a credit card but it takes a percentage, I’d rather do cash. I tried to use the SquareCash app, which Dude has and uses and swears by. And it refunded my payment in the middle of the night, after my sister had accepted it, so that was shady and annoying and obnoxious, and I had no recourse, there was no further information given. Lots of times things will be like “this looks shady, we refunded it, undo?” and you have some option. This had nothing, just a cheerful screen that says For your protection, we undid the thing you did, yay! I was so mad.
So Dude sent a payment from *his* app instead, and it forced my sister to download the app, and then the payment wasn’t in her app, and she couldn’t get it, so she was a little frustrated. I lost my shit on Twitter and sent them like five support requests. The app’s entire design premise is like, there’s only two buttons on this screen and if you don’t want to do either of those two things, fuck you. It’s INCREDIBLY frustrating. It’s probably super simple and easy if you want to do the expected thing! But it sucks fucking lukewarm donkey shit if you have an issue or question.
(Update: they *did* get back to me, but only to reiterate the uninformative error message, so I said, well, if you can’t tell me why it didn’t work, I can’t use your app, because if I make a transaction I expect it to happen, not to randomly be refunded. Tell me what I need to tell the thing, and I’ll do that, but don’t just decide for me whether my money ought to go where I sent it or not. Either your security measures are adequate, or they are not.)
MEANWHILE. I’m going to run errands yesterday, I’ve got a shitload of stuff to do. I go to my car. B-I-L had borrowed my car, and of course, when he’d locked the doors it had locked all of them and then when he unlocked them it only re-unlocked the driver’s door. I hate that about my car, but I can’t figure out how to change it. I put my purse in the backseat like, every day, and I always have to get my keys back out to unlock the back door, it’s fucking stupid, but whatever. So I ran out to my car to grab my raincoat out of it so I could go get some broccoli out of the field, my first errand– my eventual destination being my mother’s house, where I had been asked to bring broccoli to contribute to the meal. I go to open the back door, it’s locked. Ugh. Keys are on the front seat, which is standard farm practice– there are so many vehicles, and often they need to be moved, so you just leave the keys in them.
So I grab the keys from the front seat, mash the “unlock” button a couple of times– I swear to Christ I LOOKED, and made SURE it was the “unlock” button. Toss the key on the seat and shut the front door to walk around to the liftgate. Door shuts, beeps.
Why did the door beep.
It is locked. I locked the car. I used the Unlock button, and the car decided that meant I needed it locked. (I BLAME FAIRIES.) (WHAT THE FUCK THO)
However, I do have roadside assistance. So I waited until today, and called the number, and they sent a guy within an hour, and he showed up and was done so fast I didn’t have time to figure out what was going on really. It was impressive.
Oh my god I have been running around nonstop since early this morning and my whole body hurts. My smartwatch has a pedometer in it and when I’m in buffalo I average like, a pathetic amount of steps in a day. it’s like. Three thousand or something. Out here if I don’t make ten thousand steps it’s because I was standing in one place working all day and it didn’t count my shifts from foot to foot.
I’ll have to write a separate post about making wreaths, I think. This’ll do for today.
I’m just journaling now, sorry to anyone who thought I was going to be super interesting. Oh, the other thing that happened today was castrating the baby boars, I’ll definitely have to tell that story too. Some other time.
