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dragonlady7via http://ift.tt/2ekaeqG:
magickedteacup:
@bomberqueen17 Wild turkeys are the best. There’s a family that collects around the yurt a lot. And I’m not familiar with the practice of chanting names but it sounds like a good idea!
I never thought I’d be endeared to wild turkeys, but it was like: awww, you guys came back for the dum-dum that fell behind; 83 that’s so; nice! :D
lol I keep thinking to myself I should clarify in my blogging that I’m not literally chanting names, but they’re like; prayers that describe the various qualities of the divine being/guru they’re about; the names I’m doing are in Sanskrit so that’s like, neat XD it’s supposed to be a powerful, focusing spiritual practice; but also it’s supposed to have the effect of purifying the physical space you’re in; and my aunt’s house needs all the purifying it can get :T
I thought about it afterwards, and it was like: hah, well that’s kind of weird thing to say, like ‘you make me so angry, I’m going to pray harder for you’ but it’s sort of like. When a person like that gets out of control, it doesn’t just affect her, it also affects other members in this family, like her son, soo :T praying harder it is then, I guess.
-
Tangentially, I also had this weird sequence of thoughts lately: like, with the medical school interviews, and practicing with medical ethical scenarios; and also being furious with Trump; I had the thought one day, if I was a doctor and Trump’s life was in my hands, that’d be a real quandary for me T.T like, maybe I don’t wanna
but I thought, no; I’d still be the right thing to do, eaughh :T
and then a few days later, after being at the ashram, I thought about it and: also, the reality of it is that getting rid of Trump actually isn’t the end of the political troubles, failing to treat him correctly could have worse side-effects; see his evil vice presidential nominee, and others; so in a situation like that, it probably really is actually better to do what feels morally correct; and also to take the opportunity to like; pray super hard over him; 1000 names on audio speakers while doing the surgery or whatever it is; I’m going to pray so hard at you, you self-centered man-child
…I know some people are skeptical of praying and stuff, I think to myself as I type; but you know; I think it’s a, everyone’s situation in that regard is going to be different, you have to figure out what works for you; and also I like, super respect when a guy like Dwayne the Rock Johnson can talk candidly about the traditions of say, his tattoos and other practices that he does, and how he considers them as old and powerful; so I guess I’m not going to feel like I need to keep quiet about my practices either, especially like in cases of mine and the Rock’s when it’s seen as a source of a lot of positivity and good.
Turkeys are… not exactly intelligent, I wouldn’t say that, but as a group they have a kind of shrewdness to them.
I had a vague notion the chanting was something like that– I took, like, half a semester of Zen History or somesuch, so I’m like, the vaguest bit familiar with the concept of Buddhism as a whole, kind of. I don’t know much, but I’m approximately aware that there is such a thing, you know? Not everyone is into the Abrahamic God, and I thought we all knew that, but it turns out that a lot of people don’t seem to. I’m not particularly well-educated in this, but I’m continually shocked by how much better-off I seem to be than many.
I feel you on the ethical quandary.
And I have a moment, here, where I’m going to, like, be That White Lady, but I’m super bitter about the total lack of separation of Church and State. And, I know, cry me a river, your religion is the dominant force in this culture, waahh, but– I mean, it does, on a level, suck. Because I was raised Catholic, and we have that same kind of thing with the Rosary, where that same concept exists– you do something extremely repetitive [the Rosary is just a sequence of beads that help guide you through a repetitive sequence of prayers] and you meditate on a series of concepts (like, there are variations where you meditate on the seven joys of Mary, or the seven virtues of Mary, or the seven sorrows of Mary, and then there are variants for other things and all)– and the same idea exists, that you’re praying not as, like, a request for a thing directly, but you’re trying to meditate and focus your spiritual energy on a thing, or on a space, or on a concept, or on a relationship or a person, and it’s a very old practice (i mean, relatively) and a very powerful concept. And its antiquity is so compelling– my father’s people have been Catholic since before there was an alternative, y’know, before they were called Catholic because there weren’t other kinds of Christians yet. it’s nearly two thousand years of continuous practice (and I know, there’s older religions, but that’s not nothing), and all kinds of Deep Mystical Shit that used to mean a lot to me when I was younger
and I can’t do it, can’t access any of it, because my church is so extremely bound up in extremely hateful and *extremely* secular politics that I can no longer attend Mass and I can no longer find any comfort in the rituals that were so important to me when I was a child and an adolescent.
I can’t go to Mass, I can’t consider myself a Catholic, I can’t say the Rosary or even sing the hymns, really, anymore, because the organized sects of Christianity have been so incredibly destructively involved in secular politics during the last couple of decades. You can’t go to a single service without it getting brought up, you can’t even just pray on your own without thinking about it, because it’s so inextricably wound through the entire fucking doctrine by now.
(Considering abortion a sin is a more recent concept than the Happy Meal. It is *not* a fundamental tenet of my religion, it is a very recent thing, and it is The Thing that most of the homilies and literature and, like, signs on posts outside the church, have become focused on.)
And so I have to either make shit up, appropriate a religion I have no right to, or just go without ritual in my life. And i know that’s a kind of bullshit-white-people thing to cry about, but it is so incredibly distressing to me and I am sorry for barfing that all over your post but I just don’t know how else to talk about it.
The separation of Church and State is absolutely crucial for the state to function, there’s no doubt about that.
But I can’t help but mourn, because the separation of Church and State is *also* absolutely necessary for the Church to function. And the damage is so profound I can’t go back. A religion my ancestors faced pretty serious persecution for is denied to me, because I am a woman with a conscience.
I need something, but I’m not quite to a point where I can just– look something up, go shopping, read a book, make up my own– that’s not really the same thing at all, and I’m so bitterly furiously angry at the ugly old white men who took the Church for themselves and cast me and mine out. I can’t do any good to the world like that, but I can’t reclaim it either.
And I feel like if the Church weren’t so horrible and secular and toxic, there wouldn’t be this feeling like we can’t talk about our spiritual practice. But it is, and there it is. It’s become distasteful to pray for someone now in our culture because of the aggressive and hostile way that a lot of the Christian sects do it; there’s no other reason. (For an example, the Mormons believe that they can convert and baptize long-dead people, and that’s completely disgusting to take over someone’s identity like that. That’s an act of aggression and erasure of that person’s agency. But they think it’s totally cool to do, and so they do. They’ve incidentally done a great deal of very valuable genealogical work, and historians are glad, but also skeeved, because that’s creepy as fuck to learn all about your ancestors just so you can baptize them into your faith against their will.)
Personally, I find it incredibly moving when someone offers to pray for me. Not when it’s a passive-aggressive “I’ll pray to change your heart because otherwise you’ll go to Hell according to my definition which is predicated on a complete misunderstanding of what you are” kind of thing. But when it’s like, “I have a sincere belief, and you seem sad or broken or Wrong, so I am going to use that belief to pray that positive energy finds you”– that’s really sweet. It doesn’t matter what faith that comes from, that kind of thing is pure and amazing and wonderful and powerful.
Praying over someone you find hateful and hoping to channel some kind of peace or reconciliation into them is not aggressive. Praying for your God to smite them and render them acceptable to you *is* aggressive. That’s the difference.
It makes me wish I could pray! But I feel like there’s no real open avenue for me to do that. Even if I avoid Mass, with the inevitable homily about secular politics (every time! i had express permission to ignore the homily if any secular political keywords popped up, when I was quite a young child, because my father also thought it was gross! but I can’t just ignore it anymore, there’s too much active political campaigning at stake that my presence gives tacit support to), all of the concepts and rituals are still so tainted. I can’t think about Jesus without thinking of all the absolutely horrible shit that has been done in his name. It’s a dead-end street, and I’m upset about it, and I don’t know what to do. I tried in distress a while back to just say a Hail Mary and I couldn’t even get through the words. It’s a prayer to be used in extremity– now and at the hour of our deaths– and I couldn’t use it. What kind of bullshit is this. What intolerable bullshit is this.
but the call is coming from inside the house, you know? Like a goddamn horror movie. It’s not like external forces did this damage. So I can’t blame that. All I can do is walk away from it.
magickedteacup:
@bomberqueen17 Wild turkeys are the best. There’s a family that collects around the yurt a lot. And I’m not familiar with the practice of chanting names but it sounds like a good idea!
I never thought I’d be endeared to wild turkeys, but it was like: awww, you guys came back for the dum-dum that fell behind; 83 that’s so; nice! :D
lol I keep thinking to myself I should clarify in my blogging that I’m not literally chanting names, but they’re like; prayers that describe the various qualities of the divine being/guru they’re about; the names I’m doing are in Sanskrit so that’s like, neat XD it’s supposed to be a powerful, focusing spiritual practice; but also it’s supposed to have the effect of purifying the physical space you’re in; and my aunt’s house needs all the purifying it can get :T
I thought about it afterwards, and it was like: hah, well that’s kind of weird thing to say, like ‘you make me so angry, I’m going to pray harder for you’ but it’s sort of like. When a person like that gets out of control, it doesn’t just affect her, it also affects other members in this family, like her son, soo :T praying harder it is then, I guess.
-
Tangentially, I also had this weird sequence of thoughts lately: like, with the medical school interviews, and practicing with medical ethical scenarios; and also being furious with Trump; I had the thought one day, if I was a doctor and Trump’s life was in my hands, that’d be a real quandary for me T.T like, maybe I don’t wanna
but I thought, no; I’d still be the right thing to do, eaughh :T
and then a few days later, after being at the ashram, I thought about it and: also, the reality of it is that getting rid of Trump actually isn’t the end of the political troubles, failing to treat him correctly could have worse side-effects; see his evil vice presidential nominee, and others; so in a situation like that, it probably really is actually better to do what feels morally correct; and also to take the opportunity to like; pray super hard over him; 1000 names on audio speakers while doing the surgery or whatever it is; I’m going to pray so hard at you, you self-centered man-child
…I know some people are skeptical of praying and stuff, I think to myself as I type; but you know; I think it’s a, everyone’s situation in that regard is going to be different, you have to figure out what works for you; and also I like, super respect when a guy like Dwayne the Rock Johnson can talk candidly about the traditions of say, his tattoos and other practices that he does, and how he considers them as old and powerful; so I guess I’m not going to feel like I need to keep quiet about my practices either, especially like in cases of mine and the Rock’s when it’s seen as a source of a lot of positivity and good.
Turkeys are… not exactly intelligent, I wouldn’t say that, but as a group they have a kind of shrewdness to them.
I had a vague notion the chanting was something like that– I took, like, half a semester of Zen History or somesuch, so I’m like, the vaguest bit familiar with the concept of Buddhism as a whole, kind of. I don’t know much, but I’m approximately aware that there is such a thing, you know? Not everyone is into the Abrahamic God, and I thought we all knew that, but it turns out that a lot of people don’t seem to. I’m not particularly well-educated in this, but I’m continually shocked by how much better-off I seem to be than many.
I feel you on the ethical quandary.
And I have a moment, here, where I’m going to, like, be That White Lady, but I’m super bitter about the total lack of separation of Church and State. And, I know, cry me a river, your religion is the dominant force in this culture, waahh, but– I mean, it does, on a level, suck. Because I was raised Catholic, and we have that same kind of thing with the Rosary, where that same concept exists– you do something extremely repetitive [the Rosary is just a sequence of beads that help guide you through a repetitive sequence of prayers] and you meditate on a series of concepts (like, there are variations where you meditate on the seven joys of Mary, or the seven virtues of Mary, or the seven sorrows of Mary, and then there are variants for other things and all)– and the same idea exists, that you’re praying not as, like, a request for a thing directly, but you’re trying to meditate and focus your spiritual energy on a thing, or on a space, or on a concept, or on a relationship or a person, and it’s a very old practice (i mean, relatively) and a very powerful concept. And its antiquity is so compelling– my father’s people have been Catholic since before there was an alternative, y’know, before they were called Catholic because there weren’t other kinds of Christians yet. it’s nearly two thousand years of continuous practice (and I know, there’s older religions, but that’s not nothing), and all kinds of Deep Mystical Shit that used to mean a lot to me when I was younger
and I can’t do it, can’t access any of it, because my church is so extremely bound up in extremely hateful and *extremely* secular politics that I can no longer attend Mass and I can no longer find any comfort in the rituals that were so important to me when I was a child and an adolescent.
I can’t go to Mass, I can’t consider myself a Catholic, I can’t say the Rosary or even sing the hymns, really, anymore, because the organized sects of Christianity have been so incredibly destructively involved in secular politics during the last couple of decades. You can’t go to a single service without it getting brought up, you can’t even just pray on your own without thinking about it, because it’s so inextricably wound through the entire fucking doctrine by now.
(Considering abortion a sin is a more recent concept than the Happy Meal. It is *not* a fundamental tenet of my religion, it is a very recent thing, and it is The Thing that most of the homilies and literature and, like, signs on posts outside the church, have become focused on.)
And so I have to either make shit up, appropriate a religion I have no right to, or just go without ritual in my life. And i know that’s a kind of bullshit-white-people thing to cry about, but it is so incredibly distressing to me and I am sorry for barfing that all over your post but I just don’t know how else to talk about it.
The separation of Church and State is absolutely crucial for the state to function, there’s no doubt about that.
But I can’t help but mourn, because the separation of Church and State is *also* absolutely necessary for the Church to function. And the damage is so profound I can’t go back. A religion my ancestors faced pretty serious persecution for is denied to me, because I am a woman with a conscience.
I need something, but I’m not quite to a point where I can just– look something up, go shopping, read a book, make up my own– that’s not really the same thing at all, and I’m so bitterly furiously angry at the ugly old white men who took the Church for themselves and cast me and mine out. I can’t do any good to the world like that, but I can’t reclaim it either.
And I feel like if the Church weren’t so horrible and secular and toxic, there wouldn’t be this feeling like we can’t talk about our spiritual practice. But it is, and there it is. It’s become distasteful to pray for someone now in our culture because of the aggressive and hostile way that a lot of the Christian sects do it; there’s no other reason. (For an example, the Mormons believe that they can convert and baptize long-dead people, and that’s completely disgusting to take over someone’s identity like that. That’s an act of aggression and erasure of that person’s agency. But they think it’s totally cool to do, and so they do. They’ve incidentally done a great deal of very valuable genealogical work, and historians are glad, but also skeeved, because that’s creepy as fuck to learn all about your ancestors just so you can baptize them into your faith against their will.)
Personally, I find it incredibly moving when someone offers to pray for me. Not when it’s a passive-aggressive “I’ll pray to change your heart because otherwise you’ll go to Hell according to my definition which is predicated on a complete misunderstanding of what you are” kind of thing. But when it’s like, “I have a sincere belief, and you seem sad or broken or Wrong, so I am going to use that belief to pray that positive energy finds you”– that’s really sweet. It doesn’t matter what faith that comes from, that kind of thing is pure and amazing and wonderful and powerful.
Praying over someone you find hateful and hoping to channel some kind of peace or reconciliation into them is not aggressive. Praying for your God to smite them and render them acceptable to you *is* aggressive. That’s the difference.
It makes me wish I could pray! But I feel like there’s no real open avenue for me to do that. Even if I avoid Mass, with the inevitable homily about secular politics (every time! i had express permission to ignore the homily if any secular political keywords popped up, when I was quite a young child, because my father also thought it was gross! but I can’t just ignore it anymore, there’s too much active political campaigning at stake that my presence gives tacit support to), all of the concepts and rituals are still so tainted. I can’t think about Jesus without thinking of all the absolutely horrible shit that has been done in his name. It’s a dead-end street, and I’m upset about it, and I don’t know what to do. I tried in distress a while back to just say a Hail Mary and I couldn’t even get through the words. It’s a prayer to be used in extremity– now and at the hour of our deaths– and I couldn’t use it. What kind of bullshit is this. What intolerable bullshit is this.
but the call is coming from inside the house, you know? Like a goddamn horror movie. It’s not like external forces did this damage. So I can’t blame that. All I can do is walk away from it.
