![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7via http://ift.tt/2cDAE8P:
jacquez45:
teapotsahoy:
survivablyso:
xparrot:
fluffmugger:
vmprsm:
darkseid:
freebismuth:
moonsandstarsandmagic:
vintagegalpal:
emilievitnux:
there-is-irony-everywhere:
jmenfoot:
scavengerridley:
Natalie Portman being confused by the fact that you have to say “hi” to someone before starting a conversation in France got me like ?????
“I feel there’s a lot of rules of politeness and codes of behavior there you have to follow. […] A friend of mine taught me that when you go in some place you have to say “bonjour” before you say anything else, then you have to wait two seconds before you say something else. So if you go into a store you can’t be like “do you have this in another size,” or they’ll think you’re super rude and then they’ll be rude to you.” [X]
#wait you don’t do this is other countries??
So that’s it guys. French are not rude, we just don’t like it when people don’t say “Hello” or “Hi” when they start a conversation.
Don’t everyone say “Hi” before they ask something to someone? What’s next? Saying please is also a french thing or others countries does that too?
Canada is similar. We say sorry and please. The Hello thing seems strange, but it actually makes sense.
Bro, this threw me for a loop when I moved up north. Like in the southern United States you say “Hi, how are you?” And then make a few seconds of small talk before you ask your question or order your food and when I went to Connecticut they were like “What do you want?” Without any hello or anything. In other places they just STARE at you waiting on you to place your order and gtfo.
I laid my hand over my chest the first time, and the only way to describe my look was “aghast” before I said “Good lord!” My husband said it’s the most southern thing he’s seen me do. He thought it was hilarious. But…. Like??? That’s rude as fuck??????? Don’t y'all say say “Hello” before throwing your demands at someone??
maybe this is why everyone thinks new yorkers are rude
this is absolutely why ppl think new englanders r rude. no one has any fucking manners
african culture, at least in ghana, demands you greet a person before you ask them something. if youre in an open market they may even ignore you if you dont.
We do this in Australia as well. If you just started straight off saying “yeah I want XXXX” we’d think you’re rude as all fuck. You say hi, then make your request. It’s basic acknowledgement of the other person as a person rather than some random request-filling machine.
Huh. Speaking as a New Englander, I usually go with “Excuse me,” but sometimes “hi” or “hey,” but with no pause – it’ll be, “Excuse me, hi, I was looking for X?” From my POV, it seems rude to get too chatty and waste some stranger’s time; I assume they have better things to do than make small talk with me, so I just get my request out there so they can answer me and get back to whatever needs doing. I always thank folks for their help afterwards, if that helps?
(The rules of etiquette are strange. People say New Englanders are rude and cold, but once during an unexpected snowstorm here in Seattle, my car got stuck and I was standing by the side of the road at a busy intersection in the snow for half an hour waiting for my housemate to come pick me up, and not a single person stopped. Back in Massachusetts, every other car on the road would’ve been pulling up to check to see if I was okay, if my phone was working, did I need a lift, etc.)
No but this was the first thing my cousin told me in France? you never ever ever start a conversation with anyone, not even like “Nice weather today, huh?” without saying Bonjour first. You HAVE to greet them or, just like Ghana, they’ll ignore the shit out of you, you rude little fucker
(And “excuse me” or “pardon me” doesn’t cut it. you still have to open with bonjour)
[and I can’t speak for New England but coming from Chicago and then moving Out West where the culture is VERY influenced by the South and DETERMINED to think of themselves as small town folk… I HATE when I have to make small talk before ordering food??? Like, if it’s a coffee shop that’s pretty much empty I’ll chit chat for a few seconds, but I’m still not going to make inane conversation about the weather unless the weather is extreme.
In a big city it is rude as fuck to waste my time making small talk with me when we are not even friends or neighbors??? I am here to get shit done. There are four other people in line behind me, and I don’t want to waste their time. I am here, I HAVE MY ORDER ALREADY DECIDED BY THE TIME I GET TO THE FRONT BECAUSE I AM NOT A CAVE WOMAN, and I am being polite by saying both Please and Thank You and not wasting other people’s daylight.]
I live in a small northern city, and I feel it would be rude to engage someone in more than maaaaaybe a sentence of small talk before placing my order. In addition to feeling I was wasting their time, I’d feel like I was demanding emotional labour (small-talk is emotional labour for *me*) that they weren’t being paid to give.
where I am there is MAYBE chit-chat if you’re checking out at a grocery store or somewhere where checking out takes a while. MAYBE. It’s more likely that it’s going to be this:
Cashier: Find everything you needed today?
Me: Yep.
[pause]
Cashier: You want plastic around the meat?
Me: Yep.
[pause]
Casher: Total is $X.
Me: Aiight.
[pause]
Cashier: Here’s your receipt. Have a nice day!
Me: Thanks. You too.
*Time* is much more valuable than *extra words*, around here. People are generally friendly but not chatty. But compared to the cashiers when I visit my in-laws in MA, we’re very chatty. And when I visit my sibs in the South I nearly go spare from the chatter and the, um, relaxed pace of things. (WHY DO YOU TAKE 10 MINUTES TO DO WHAT CAN BE DONE IN 2, THE ENTIRE GODDAMN SOUTH, WHAT THE FUCK?)
The absolute height of Northeastern manners is to stay out of the way, mind your business, and not waste time. If someone asks you for help, of course you help them, but if they’ve asked you for help they didn’t need, that’s rude.
As a clerk, I don’t want your story, I want to help you and get you on your way so I can help the next person. I just don’t have the time or emotion to get invested in your story, unless your story is really unusual, and maybe not even then. I have to be efficient, I just do, so I’m not trying to make you feel crappy, I just am not going to engage you in deep conversation beyond what’s needed to get the job done.
When I pick up the phone I don’t say hello. I state the business name and my name, and ask how I can help you, and I say it as quickly and clearly as possible so I don’t waste time.
I’m not rude, I was raised in a culture where you get in, do your business, get out, and make room for the next person. You don’t take up too much space, you don’t take up too much time. You don’t need to be best friends with your cashier.
Maybe you make conversation if you’re a repeat customer or something. Maybe you make conversation if something unexpected is happening (an accident outside, construction on the building, another customer behaving badly, extreme weather), but you keep it brief.
I make conversation on my own time, with people of my choosing, not on the clock with strangers.
I would preface most questions with “excuse me” or “um, hey, hi?”– unless I could make eye contact. In that case, I might just make eye contact and smile, and then ask my question.
I’m not gonna ask how your dog is before I take my turn going through the stop sign, okay?
jacquez45:
teapotsahoy:
survivablyso:
xparrot:
fluffmugger:
vmprsm:
darkseid:
freebismuth:
moonsandstarsandmagic:
vintagegalpal:
emilievitnux:
there-is-irony-everywhere:
jmenfoot:
scavengerridley:
Natalie Portman being confused by the fact that you have to say “hi” to someone before starting a conversation in France got me like ?????
“I feel there’s a lot of rules of politeness and codes of behavior there you have to follow. […] A friend of mine taught me that when you go in some place you have to say “bonjour” before you say anything else, then you have to wait two seconds before you say something else. So if you go into a store you can’t be like “do you have this in another size,” or they’ll think you’re super rude and then they’ll be rude to you.” [X]
#wait you don’t do this is other countries??
So that’s it guys. French are not rude, we just don’t like it when people don’t say “Hello” or “Hi” when they start a conversation.
Don’t everyone say “Hi” before they ask something to someone? What’s next? Saying please is also a french thing or others countries does that too?
Canada is similar. We say sorry and please. The Hello thing seems strange, but it actually makes sense.
Bro, this threw me for a loop when I moved up north. Like in the southern United States you say “Hi, how are you?” And then make a few seconds of small talk before you ask your question or order your food and when I went to Connecticut they were like “What do you want?” Without any hello or anything. In other places they just STARE at you waiting on you to place your order and gtfo.
I laid my hand over my chest the first time, and the only way to describe my look was “aghast” before I said “Good lord!” My husband said it’s the most southern thing he’s seen me do. He thought it was hilarious. But…. Like??? That’s rude as fuck??????? Don’t y'all say say “Hello” before throwing your demands at someone??
maybe this is why everyone thinks new yorkers are rude
this is absolutely why ppl think new englanders r rude. no one has any fucking manners
african culture, at least in ghana, demands you greet a person before you ask them something. if youre in an open market they may even ignore you if you dont.
We do this in Australia as well. If you just started straight off saying “yeah I want XXXX” we’d think you’re rude as all fuck. You say hi, then make your request. It’s basic acknowledgement of the other person as a person rather than some random request-filling machine.
Huh. Speaking as a New Englander, I usually go with “Excuse me,” but sometimes “hi” or “hey,” but with no pause – it’ll be, “Excuse me, hi, I was looking for X?” From my POV, it seems rude to get too chatty and waste some stranger’s time; I assume they have better things to do than make small talk with me, so I just get my request out there so they can answer me and get back to whatever needs doing. I always thank folks for their help afterwards, if that helps?
(The rules of etiquette are strange. People say New Englanders are rude and cold, but once during an unexpected snowstorm here in Seattle, my car got stuck and I was standing by the side of the road at a busy intersection in the snow for half an hour waiting for my housemate to come pick me up, and not a single person stopped. Back in Massachusetts, every other car on the road would’ve been pulling up to check to see if I was okay, if my phone was working, did I need a lift, etc.)
No but this was the first thing my cousin told me in France? you never ever ever start a conversation with anyone, not even like “Nice weather today, huh?” without saying Bonjour first. You HAVE to greet them or, just like Ghana, they’ll ignore the shit out of you, you rude little fucker
(And “excuse me” or “pardon me” doesn’t cut it. you still have to open with bonjour)
[and I can’t speak for New England but coming from Chicago and then moving Out West where the culture is VERY influenced by the South and DETERMINED to think of themselves as small town folk… I HATE when I have to make small talk before ordering food??? Like, if it’s a coffee shop that’s pretty much empty I’ll chit chat for a few seconds, but I’m still not going to make inane conversation about the weather unless the weather is extreme.
In a big city it is rude as fuck to waste my time making small talk with me when we are not even friends or neighbors??? I am here to get shit done. There are four other people in line behind me, and I don’t want to waste their time. I am here, I HAVE MY ORDER ALREADY DECIDED BY THE TIME I GET TO THE FRONT BECAUSE I AM NOT A CAVE WOMAN, and I am being polite by saying both Please and Thank You and not wasting other people’s daylight.]
I live in a small northern city, and I feel it would be rude to engage someone in more than maaaaaybe a sentence of small talk before placing my order. In addition to feeling I was wasting their time, I’d feel like I was demanding emotional labour (small-talk is emotional labour for *me*) that they weren’t being paid to give.
where I am there is MAYBE chit-chat if you’re checking out at a grocery store or somewhere where checking out takes a while. MAYBE. It’s more likely that it’s going to be this:
Cashier: Find everything you needed today?
Me: Yep.
[pause]
Cashier: You want plastic around the meat?
Me: Yep.
[pause]
Casher: Total is $X.
Me: Aiight.
[pause]
Cashier: Here’s your receipt. Have a nice day!
Me: Thanks. You too.
*Time* is much more valuable than *extra words*, around here. People are generally friendly but not chatty. But compared to the cashiers when I visit my in-laws in MA, we’re very chatty. And when I visit my sibs in the South I nearly go spare from the chatter and the, um, relaxed pace of things. (WHY DO YOU TAKE 10 MINUTES TO DO WHAT CAN BE DONE IN 2, THE ENTIRE GODDAMN SOUTH, WHAT THE FUCK?)
The absolute height of Northeastern manners is to stay out of the way, mind your business, and not waste time. If someone asks you for help, of course you help them, but if they’ve asked you for help they didn’t need, that’s rude.
As a clerk, I don’t want your story, I want to help you and get you on your way so I can help the next person. I just don’t have the time or emotion to get invested in your story, unless your story is really unusual, and maybe not even then. I have to be efficient, I just do, so I’m not trying to make you feel crappy, I just am not going to engage you in deep conversation beyond what’s needed to get the job done.
When I pick up the phone I don’t say hello. I state the business name and my name, and ask how I can help you, and I say it as quickly and clearly as possible so I don’t waste time.
I’m not rude, I was raised in a culture where you get in, do your business, get out, and make room for the next person. You don’t take up too much space, you don’t take up too much time. You don’t need to be best friends with your cashier.
Maybe you make conversation if you’re a repeat customer or something. Maybe you make conversation if something unexpected is happening (an accident outside, construction on the building, another customer behaving badly, extreme weather), but you keep it brief.
I make conversation on my own time, with people of my choosing, not on the clock with strangers.
I would preface most questions with “excuse me” or “um, hey, hi?”– unless I could make eye contact. In that case, I might just make eye contact and smile, and then ask my question.
I’m not gonna ask how your dog is before I take my turn going through the stop sign, okay?
