overdramatic

[dragonlady7]

I feel like I'm being overdramatic, but things at work have been stressful lately. We've lost a bunch of staff and are looking to hire more. I was excited to discover that we're considering hiring a full-timer at my store so I won't be the only one.
The coworker I can't stand who throws me under busses, undercuts me, drives me crazy, and generally makes my life miserable works about 25-30 hours a week. (I spend most of that time cleaning up after her. She's the one I liveblog on Twitter so that I have something to distract me from murdering her. Last week or the week before with the lying-extravaganza-- that was her.) She asked if she could move to full-time. They're considering it.
My visceral gut reaction instantly upon hearing this was, if she becomes full-time, I'm quitting.
Which I feel, logically, is a juvenile reaction. It shouldn't be about getting along well with someone.
But I will actually go stark screaming mad if I have to deal with her any more than I already do. And if she's full-time, she'll feel she doesn't have to get bossed around by me, so she'll be even worse than she already is.
And you know what? This job is already kind of driving me more crazy than I'm comfortable with. I just started taking an antidepressant two days ago, after the dark hell that was this winter. I can't face another Christmas season in retail. Maybe it's a sign. If my visceral reaction is so strong I can't overcome it, maybe it's time to listen to it.

I feel a little bit like a drama hound for texting the manager and saying if they offer her the full-time position they can consider that my notice, but I really can't help it. That will be the end.

I need a job where I can have two days off in a row. I need a job where I can eat regularly, and at normal times. I need a job where I can talk to people, but not forty hours of talking a week. I don't know. I don't know where to look. It won't be hard to find a job where I make more than at this one-- I'm not even making $20k a year and that's kind of fucking ridiculous.
Mostly, though, I need a job that offers health insurance. That's the really, really tricky part, and the part I don't know what to do about. I can do everything else in this life without getting married; getting insurance I can't do. And Z's made it plain that's not on the table-- which I suppose makes sense, since the sole reason we'd bother is for insurance, and that's kind of mercenary. So I'm on my own in this. And if they do hire her and I don't leave, I'll probably lose my mind anyway, so I'd better follow through.
Ugh.

Comments

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

1) I have quit a job over such madnesses. No shame in that game.

2) Given the way you guys view marriage, I'm surprised the mercenary "for the insurance" way isn't how you'd end up doing it.

[buschibaby.livejournal.com]

Marriage of convenience! Ours is working out ok, if you want an example for him. We so wouldn't have got around to it if it hadn't been necessary to get parental responsibility for the kids for Sheila.

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

Heh. Well, it'd be for my convenience, not so much his, so it's hard to get him motivated. In the absence of plans for kids, it's hard to really draw any kind of line in the sand. And it's dumb and meaningless, and as I get older I feel more and more cross that it even matters anymore.