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dragonlady7via http://ift.tt/2csJ4y1:
emilyenrose:
imindhowwelayinjune:
Dear @thelioninmybed, when I said ‘my Sauron ant meta’ what I really meant was ‘a joke I’ve been making for at least a year about what’s up Sauron’s butt’
I’m gonna meta it up for you, tho.
Let us start with the assertion that Maiar are spirit beings who can self-determine shape but do not appear to have a given shape of their own. Furthermore, one could posit that Maiar in their neutral form are naturally formless and insubstantial, things in essence but not in substance.
Sauron, née Mairon (lit. ‘Maiar Ronald’ [nb: this is fake]), is a Maia. Hence he and his brethren, like the Valar themselves, have the ability to take on shapes, and so he has. We observe that he tends to clothe himself in the standard meat suit: Two legs, two arms, single flaming eye two eyes, one butthole.
There has been much written - and excellently so - on the process of constructing a hröa for the hröa-less; the process of sculpting a being of essence into a creature with form; the accuracies and intricacies and implications thereof.
We have, as a community, more or less reached the conclusion that Maiar were pretty good at this. Good enough for things like speaking, and talking, and touch; maybe even breathing, eating and drinking, and sensation.
We have, as a community, largely decided you can fuck a Maia.
But being contrary of will and perverse of temperament, I wondered if such incarnations, these bodies inhabited by beings of light and spirit, were good, as it were, all the way down, or if the resemblance was only skin deep. Others have posited that yes, they were, and this could lead to excellent competitions amongst Maiar for most accurately replicated kidney, etc etc. I thoroughly approve of such speculation, and think that Eönwë’s liver totally took the gold at Alatar’s annual organ contest and kegstand competition.
But what if Sauron cut corners?
What if, having tied off the ear lobes and cinched up the butthole, he decided, welp, good enough?
What if, I said to my friends who were humoring me, what if he were just, like, okay,
hollow?
Okay, said my friends, so what happens when you fuck a hollow Maia? (As would happen, given the community-wide decision previously mentioned.) Would one’s dick just flap about in the void? This would be symbolic, and kind of amusing, I thought, but knowing Sauron, it might not be interesting enough.
So I filled him with ants.
June is both the Tolkien scholar we need and the Tolkien scholar we deserve.
emilyenrose:
imindhowwelayinjune:
Dear @thelioninmybed, when I said ‘my Sauron ant meta’ what I really meant was ‘a joke I’ve been making for at least a year about what’s up Sauron’s butt’
I’m gonna meta it up for you, tho.
Let us start with the assertion that Maiar are spirit beings who can self-determine shape but do not appear to have a given shape of their own. Furthermore, one could posit that Maiar in their neutral form are naturally formless and insubstantial, things in essence but not in substance.
Sauron, née Mairon (lit. ‘Maiar Ronald’ [nb: this is fake]), is a Maia. Hence he and his brethren, like the Valar themselves, have the ability to take on shapes, and so he has. We observe that he tends to clothe himself in the standard meat suit: Two legs, two arms, single flaming eye two eyes, one butthole.
There has been much written - and excellently so - on the process of constructing a hröa for the hröa-less; the process of sculpting a being of essence into a creature with form; the accuracies and intricacies and implications thereof.
We have, as a community, more or less reached the conclusion that Maiar were pretty good at this. Good enough for things like speaking, and talking, and touch; maybe even breathing, eating and drinking, and sensation.
We have, as a community, largely decided you can fuck a Maia.
But being contrary of will and perverse of temperament, I wondered if such incarnations, these bodies inhabited by beings of light and spirit, were good, as it were, all the way down, or if the resemblance was only skin deep. Others have posited that yes, they were, and this could lead to excellent competitions amongst Maiar for most accurately replicated kidney, etc etc. I thoroughly approve of such speculation, and think that Eönwë’s liver totally took the gold at Alatar’s annual organ contest and kegstand competition.
But what if Sauron cut corners?
What if, having tied off the ear lobes and cinched up the butthole, he decided, welp, good enough?
What if, I said to my friends who were humoring me, what if he were just, like, okay,
hollow?
Okay, said my friends, so what happens when you fuck a hollow Maia? (As would happen, given the community-wide decision previously mentioned.) Would one’s dick just flap about in the void? This would be symbolic, and kind of amusing, I thought, but knowing Sauron, it might not be interesting enough.
So I filled him with ants.
June is both the Tolkien scholar we need and the Tolkien scholar we deserve.
