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dragonlady7via http://ift.tt/29UhqwA:
This anon has made up their mind, Norasol is an abusive character and I should have employed a sensitivity beta to look for that and what I intended for her doesn’t matter and it doesn’t matter that she has no actual/direct lines in the entire story and all of her behavior is reported secondhand by POV characters of questionable reliability, it’s just clearly a “toxic swamp” and there’s just no other way to read it and ?????
I understand the whole concept of like, authorial intent doesn’t matter and the text must stand alone but that’s not the text standing alone, that person is coming to this from a place, and that’s regrettable but it’s not really anything to do with the actual text.
I should cut this because I’m clearly just too upset to be rational but it’s really got under my skin and I don’t know how else to process it.
I know it’s perfectly possible to convey messages in fiction the author didn’t intend to. Maybe I’m letting this person’s interpretation upset me too much. But I’ve had long conversations in comments on both of the Kes/Shara stories I’ve published where I’ve slowly worked on explaining and persuading and so on, I’ve been super-nuanced about it, and I’ve made sure to reread the stories to make sure there’s no actual line-crossing behavior described, and apparently none of that matters?
I guess I’m just wrong about everything, but I don’t really understand what the point is of reading a story if you don’t care what story the author’s trying to tell? I don’t know? In the cases where I’ve discovered that my understanding of what’s going on is clearly not what the author thinks the story’s about, I’ve usually just back-buttoned, because it’s obviously not working for me. Why would you double down on insisting that the story’s about something else?
I don’t know, and I’m really upset and really tired and I write fanfic so I can escape, you know? and of course I do it for feedback and attention, and I guess that makes me the sort of beggar who can’t be choosy, but I’m just so upset. I had been looking forward all day to working some more on the next installment as a kind of treat since I worked so hard on the other thing, and now it’s just all turned to ashes in my mouth, I don’t want to look at it, because it doesn’t matter what story I want to tell, I should have done better and known how people would interpret it.
Of course I should always try harder, of course, I just– I can’t forsee every interpretation. And I’m not a professional, I’m an obscure and fairly mediocre amateur.
Just– why bother asking me for clarification if you’re going to eventually reject that clarification and then make a point to tell me so????
And I get it, I do, people can convey stuff they don’t mean to, sure! But there’s also a level of trusting the author. And I get that, some authors don’t deserve trust. Some authors are careless about stuff, some authors don’t think implications through, etc. I really really try to think through motivations for characters, I try to make sure I’m not normalizing abuse or other awful things in the narrative without question; I try not to present a problematic situation without at least making it clear somehow that the thing is a problem, etc. (and if I don’t, I try to warn for it). And I’m not saying everyone has to do that, just– if you don’t, and someone points it out, you don’t get to be super upset about it. If you write noncon and try to sell it as a romantic dinner for two you are going to get called on your shit and deserve it. (Not that you don’t have the right to do whatever damn thing you want, but that’s the price of admission; people will point it out when they see it, and warn others, and that’s just how it is.) But like. If I write noncon, I’m going to tag it. And the general narrative is going to be aware that’s what it is. If a character thinks it’s a romantic dinner for two, it’s going to be made plain one way or another that that character is not correct.
It’s just responsible storytelling. Which, again, isn’t mandatory. But it’s what I like to do. It’s what I try to do. It’s what I feel compelled to do. If I weren’t trying, this wouldn’t bug me, and I could just shrug and walk away, but I am, and I can’t bear that it doesn’t matter.
If I were going to make Norasol cross the line from being an overbearing relative into being an actual abuser, I would not leave that unchallenged in the text. I would not present her as a sympathetic character to the extent I do. I wouldn’t give her the periodic redemptions that I do, in the form of her demonstrating appropriate behavior or being beloved of characters she’s being overbearing to.
No, she’s not right all the time, and she’s not completely appropriate all the time, but I would not have made her the de facto hero of The Lost Kings if she were really an abuser. I would not have Kes still living with her and listening to her thirty-two years later in Home out in the Wind. I will do a lot of things to torture Kes Dameron, but not that.
Surely, surely, my authorial intent matters, somewhere in there.
Or am I completely nuts? Should I not be so invested in the stories I tell? Should I make checklists or something? Should I try again to get beta readers even though it doesn’t really work with my style?
I just feel really alone and stupid and isolated and ridiculous, and I’m sure I’m mostly just crazy, but I’m just so upset about this and I don’t know how not to be.
Someone will inevitably tell me that I’m just being crazy about this and should get over it but you know, I honestly don’t think I’d find that very helpful at this juncture.
This anon has made up their mind, Norasol is an abusive character and I should have employed a sensitivity beta to look for that and what I intended for her doesn’t matter and it doesn’t matter that she has no actual/direct lines in the entire story and all of her behavior is reported secondhand by POV characters of questionable reliability, it’s just clearly a “toxic swamp” and there’s just no other way to read it and ?????
I understand the whole concept of like, authorial intent doesn’t matter and the text must stand alone but that’s not the text standing alone, that person is coming to this from a place, and that’s regrettable but it’s not really anything to do with the actual text.
I should cut this because I’m clearly just too upset to be rational but it’s really got under my skin and I don’t know how else to process it.
I know it’s perfectly possible to convey messages in fiction the author didn’t intend to. Maybe I’m letting this person’s interpretation upset me too much. But I’ve had long conversations in comments on both of the Kes/Shara stories I’ve published where I’ve slowly worked on explaining and persuading and so on, I’ve been super-nuanced about it, and I’ve made sure to reread the stories to make sure there’s no actual line-crossing behavior described, and apparently none of that matters?
I guess I’m just wrong about everything, but I don’t really understand what the point is of reading a story if you don’t care what story the author’s trying to tell? I don’t know? In the cases where I’ve discovered that my understanding of what’s going on is clearly not what the author thinks the story’s about, I’ve usually just back-buttoned, because it’s obviously not working for me. Why would you double down on insisting that the story’s about something else?
I don’t know, and I’m really upset and really tired and I write fanfic so I can escape, you know? and of course I do it for feedback and attention, and I guess that makes me the sort of beggar who can’t be choosy, but I’m just so upset. I had been looking forward all day to working some more on the next installment as a kind of treat since I worked so hard on the other thing, and now it’s just all turned to ashes in my mouth, I don’t want to look at it, because it doesn’t matter what story I want to tell, I should have done better and known how people would interpret it.
Of course I should always try harder, of course, I just– I can’t forsee every interpretation. And I’m not a professional, I’m an obscure and fairly mediocre amateur.
Just– why bother asking me for clarification if you’re going to eventually reject that clarification and then make a point to tell me so????
And I get it, I do, people can convey stuff they don’t mean to, sure! But there’s also a level of trusting the author. And I get that, some authors don’t deserve trust. Some authors are careless about stuff, some authors don’t think implications through, etc. I really really try to think through motivations for characters, I try to make sure I’m not normalizing abuse or other awful things in the narrative without question; I try not to present a problematic situation without at least making it clear somehow that the thing is a problem, etc. (and if I don’t, I try to warn for it). And I’m not saying everyone has to do that, just– if you don’t, and someone points it out, you don’t get to be super upset about it. If you write noncon and try to sell it as a romantic dinner for two you are going to get called on your shit and deserve it. (Not that you don’t have the right to do whatever damn thing you want, but that’s the price of admission; people will point it out when they see it, and warn others, and that’s just how it is.) But like. If I write noncon, I’m going to tag it. And the general narrative is going to be aware that’s what it is. If a character thinks it’s a romantic dinner for two, it’s going to be made plain one way or another that that character is not correct.
It’s just responsible storytelling. Which, again, isn’t mandatory. But it’s what I like to do. It’s what I try to do. It’s what I feel compelled to do. If I weren’t trying, this wouldn’t bug me, and I could just shrug and walk away, but I am, and I can’t bear that it doesn’t matter.
If I were going to make Norasol cross the line from being an overbearing relative into being an actual abuser, I would not leave that unchallenged in the text. I would not present her as a sympathetic character to the extent I do. I wouldn’t give her the periodic redemptions that I do, in the form of her demonstrating appropriate behavior or being beloved of characters she’s being overbearing to.
No, she’s not right all the time, and she’s not completely appropriate all the time, but I would not have made her the de facto hero of The Lost Kings if she were really an abuser. I would not have Kes still living with her and listening to her thirty-two years later in Home out in the Wind. I will do a lot of things to torture Kes Dameron, but not that.
Surely, surely, my authorial intent matters, somewhere in there.
Or am I completely nuts? Should I not be so invested in the stories I tell? Should I make checklists or something? Should I try again to get beta readers even though it doesn’t really work with my style?
I just feel really alone and stupid and isolated and ridiculous, and I’m sure I’m mostly just crazy, but I’m just so upset about this and I don’t know how not to be.
Someone will inevitably tell me that I’m just being crazy about this and should get over it but you know, I honestly don’t think I’d find that very helpful at this juncture.
