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dragonlady7via http://ift.tt/29QEEkh:galadhir replied to your post “Tepid tap water from a dirty coffee cup because I forgot my water…”
Sorry to hear about your day. Send the Hawkwind over here. Although they’re one of my favourites, I once heard them fairly described as sounding like a vacuum cleaner left on in the next room, and they’re distinctly depressing in large doses/
I’m gonna survive, I’m determined. I’m just going to be as grouchy about it as possible.
Vacuum cleaner left on in the next room = that is it exactly, I could not understand a word of any of the rants and they were all interminable. Through headphones, maybe not so bad, but on tinny computer speakers at the next desk over, it was just. It was. One album was fine but then there were like seven more. It was a Situation. I don’t mind them but I’m All Set Right Now Thanks.
The smallest of mercies was that my coworker was not whistling along, which is something he tends to do inappropriately. (Whistled-to Black Sabbath competes with whistled-to Kraftwerk as my top all-time unfavorite.)
The White Dress Lure did not work and now I’m completely convinced that I’ve somehow become the first person in history to get pregnant from sexting, which is the only act I participated in at the relevant time of my cycle.
What has most likely happened, as I look back at my now twenty-five-year history as a menstruating adult, is that somewhere I’ve become closely exposed to an alpha female who pulled my ovulation off-schedule to sync me to hers, which is Highly Inconvenient, but I am definitely not the alpha female in any given group so this has definitely happened before. Most memorably, with my roller derby team once, and it was awful because we all got our period on the day of an important match (somebody on that team was a Mega Alpha Female all right, some kind of Pheromone Queen, it was insane). Our team logo was brass knuckles, and we started up a chant of “BLOODY KNUCKLES” in the locker room (the uniform at that point had a logo on the rear of the skirt, for better or worse) and proceeded to lose horribly because none of us could stand up and we all kept rage-crying. Retrospectively, hilarious; at the time, terrifying and only slightly hilarious, mostly for the looks of absolute horror from everyone we told about it. God that was eight years ago. I am so old.
Actually, for that one, my period came *early*. But I think I’ve been unrelentingly regular since then. I’m totally Virtual-Pregnant From Sexting. Alert the Weekly World News. (Oh my god how long have they been shut down? I have issues on my shelf, I just saw one. I am So Old.)
The only Alpha Female suspect is my littlest sister and I am going to have Words With Her. But it stands to reason her system is mightier than mine, she’s actually hatched an ovum. (That’s what humans do, right?)
Once upon a time my three sisters and mother and I were all synched up and today I almost asked my boss SuperDad if that ever happened with his four daughters but I decided not to take our relationship to that level. Because that shit was unreal, but that was my normal, once.
Sorry to hear about your day. Send the Hawkwind over here. Although they’re one of my favourites, I once heard them fairly described as sounding like a vacuum cleaner left on in the next room, and they’re distinctly depressing in large doses/
I’m gonna survive, I’m determined. I’m just going to be as grouchy about it as possible.
Vacuum cleaner left on in the next room = that is it exactly, I could not understand a word of any of the rants and they were all interminable. Through headphones, maybe not so bad, but on tinny computer speakers at the next desk over, it was just. It was. One album was fine but then there were like seven more. It was a Situation. I don’t mind them but I’m All Set Right Now Thanks.
The smallest of mercies was that my coworker was not whistling along, which is something he tends to do inappropriately. (Whistled-to Black Sabbath competes with whistled-to Kraftwerk as my top all-time unfavorite.)
The White Dress Lure did not work and now I’m completely convinced that I’ve somehow become the first person in history to get pregnant from sexting, which is the only act I participated in at the relevant time of my cycle.
What has most likely happened, as I look back at my now twenty-five-year history as a menstruating adult, is that somewhere I’ve become closely exposed to an alpha female who pulled my ovulation off-schedule to sync me to hers, which is Highly Inconvenient, but I am definitely not the alpha female in any given group so this has definitely happened before. Most memorably, with my roller derby team once, and it was awful because we all got our period on the day of an important match (somebody on that team was a Mega Alpha Female all right, some kind of Pheromone Queen, it was insane). Our team logo was brass knuckles, and we started up a chant of “BLOODY KNUCKLES” in the locker room (the uniform at that point had a logo on the rear of the skirt, for better or worse) and proceeded to lose horribly because none of us could stand up and we all kept rage-crying. Retrospectively, hilarious; at the time, terrifying and only slightly hilarious, mostly for the looks of absolute horror from everyone we told about it. God that was eight years ago. I am so old.
Actually, for that one, my period came *early*. But I think I’ve been unrelentingly regular since then. I’m totally Virtual-Pregnant From Sexting. Alert the Weekly World News. (Oh my god how long have they been shut down? I have issues on my shelf, I just saw one. I am So Old.)
The only Alpha Female suspect is my littlest sister and I am going to have Words With Her. But it stands to reason her system is mightier than mine, she’s actually hatched an ovum. (That’s what humans do, right?)
Once upon a time my three sisters and mother and I were all synched up and today I almost asked my boss SuperDad if that ever happened with his four daughters but I decided not to take our relationship to that level. Because that shit was unreal, but that was my normal, once.
