ongoing

[dragonlady7]

via https://ift.tt/jVqLP9f

ok well so. the Subaru is declared a total loss. I’m just gonna witter on about that for a bit. But outside the cut I will ask for submissions and suggestions for Most Unhinged Bumper Stickers / Car Decorations, because this is how I’m getting through this, I’m making myself cry-laugh at all the incredibly unhinged bumper stickers out there on the Internet. I’ll start the ball rolling with this one:

True Patriots Brake For America’s Only Native Marsupial https://www.etsy.com/listing/1213726238/possum-sticker-i-brake-for-americas-only

I got irritated with the insurance company, because I was like ok, the sum total of information I have here is that you’ll give me $X for the car. But what’s actually wrong with it? You’re not mentioning it but I know in the past I have had a car declared a total loss, and have taken it as salvage and repaired it myself, I know that’s an option. Oh yeah, said the guy on the phone, you can do that. Want to do that instead? I can find out how much we’ll give you for that instead. Well, I said, it depends on what’s actually wrong with the car, don’t you think? And he was like… not understanding me. He put me on hold and came back and rattled off a different figure and was like “so you wanna do that?” and i was like no because i do not know what is wrong with the car please tell me what is wrong with the car and he was getting increasingly confused and I was getting increasingly frustrated so I said please can you email me both figures you quoted me plus the repair estimate for the car so I can make an informed decision and he was like oh yeah sure.

and emailed me two identical letters with two different figures, which I think did match the ones he’d quoted me earlier but there was no text anywhere within the letters to explain what the difference was. Most notably, nowhere did it tell me what it’s called when you take the total loss settlement, keep the vehicle, and repair it yourself, and I still don’t know what that’s called, so I sound fully idiotic when I try to describe it. There’s a like two- or three-word phrase that means that, but IDK what it is! Owner Maintenance Something, or Owner Management Something, or– I don’t know! It was never written down for me anywhere.

Anyway. I called the repair shop, and said ok, I need to see the repair estimate, and they were like legally we cannot tell you that. What. But when I dropped the car off they’d texted me a link to a website with status updates, so I went and looked at that. And the $$ amount of repairs was extremely similar to the $$ amount they’d give me for the car as salvage. So I’d break even if i just kept it and fixed it. But it would then be worthless in resale because it would be marked that it was salvage, and it’s likely those repairs aren’t the only work it’s gonna need. And I wasn’t expecting to get a ton for this car once I’d driven it into the ground, but– I also knew it had underlying problems and did not know if those problems were included in the repair estimate.

I emailed the insurance company and said, ok, I know we were not understanding one another at all on the phone, but what part of “i need to see the repair estimate so I can make an informed decision on this” was unclear? Please let me know so I can clarify. I don’t know how you expect me to decide whether to take the payment and let you scrap the car, or keep the car to fix it, if I do not understand how much it will cost to fix or what is broken about it. I genuinely do not understand what part of this desire of mine is unclear, and I don’t understand how other people make this decision without any of this information. Please can you send me the repair estimate, because I can’t actually proceed without it. Please let me know if you do not understand this request. I don’t know how else to ask it but I can try to explain further if it is still not clear.

So they sent me the repair estimate with a terse note, and I feel like some kind of jerk but I genuinely– do people not ask?? Does nobody ever want to know what’s broken??? HOW do other people make a choice about this without knowing ANYTHING????

The repair estimate was grim. Things I have zero doubt were actually broken– the right suspension arm, but not the left. The radiator supports, god damn it. A hood is cheaper than I thought, but painting it is not cheap. The fucking plastic bumper, I knew was going to cost a mint. The engine was fine, the radiator was fine, but like. nothing else was.

And the underlying defect with the steering that my buddy Chris at the shop had grimly diagnosed and told me he couldn’t fix without a warranty recall, which was in effect for every other model of this car but not this one– wasn’t on there, they hadn’t noticed it. And the transmission sticks sometimes in Park. And the wheel bearings were just replaced, but if the suspension is damaged on one side, how do I know it’s all right on the other after all….

The previous Subaru, a third-hand stick-shift Impreza, died at 125k miles, which is objectively reasonable but I thought was premature. The starter motor failed, along with something I can’t recollect now about the steering. It was driveable but I had to start it with a hammer. Coming on for winter, I gave up on it, and got this one, which was fantastic because that was the winter we suddenly had a bunch of Great Plains blizzards the Impreza absolutely would not have made it through.

This one was at 94k miles.

So, reluctantly, I figured, I’ve got to let it go. Someone who can turn a profit on the labor can rehab it and make it drivable for another 50k miles probably, but that someone isn’t me. I hope they sell it cheap and some college kid moves home and back another five times with it. I hope it has a lovely second life and someone actually uses that roof rack. But I had to let it go. I turned in the spare keys and cleared it out and cried.

I’m shopping for… something similar I guess. I can’t get by with less cargo space, I stuff that thing full on the reg. I don’t like a low-slung car, I need ground clearance just for my parking spot on the farm let alone anything else; ideally I want any vehicle of mine to be able to make it up the forest road and around the loop in reasonably dry conditions, so that if something happens to block the loop at the barnyard end I could still get out, and so if I need to haul something up to the compost I can make it there in my vehicle (or like if I want to collect woodchips or something).

I was hoping electric vehicles would have advanced enough for me to get one of those. But I need either a 300-mile, foolproof, not optimistic but will really do it in all weather conditions range, OR there to be reliable, available charge points at intervals halfway, and the Thruway rest stops are so torn up that there are many points at which there’s nowhere to get gasoline, let alone an electric charge. And all the articles I read were about the etiquette of waiting in line for a charge– oh my god. if I were a different person this would be fine, i would make it work, but I am not that person, I cannot cope with that kind of uncertainty, I would forget to plug it in or something, with my luck there’d only be one charge point on the whole westbound I90 and there’d be some jackass charging a dead truck on it for two hours– I can’t do it yet. Dude’s next car can be electric. But mine can’t be, not yet.

I might get a hybrid, even though they are an expensive, inefficient half-measure.

I have the incalculable privilege that I can get by without a car nearly indefinitely. It’s complicated and difficult, but I can borrow cars each end, and thank God, the Amtrak runs, and I’m on it now. It’s pricey but not that much more than the cost of gas, and it’s pretty direct and I have friends at each end who’ll pick me up, even though there’s no public transit to speak of either place. So I can wait for the check to come from the insurance company, and I can use it for a downpayment on something, and if what I want isn’t available I can order it and wait. I’m much more fortunate than most.

I’m just bummed, so please, send me the worst / best / most hilarious bumper stickers you can find. (Your picture was not posted)

Comments

[krait]

So sorry about your car! Mine was totaled just last year in a hit-and-run accident, so I've been there. Insurance companies apparently only believe that information should flow one way, from you to them, and not the reverse. :/

I wish you luck in finding another vehicle - that's a struggle, too. I paid significantly over my budget when replacing mine, but it does seem to be a good car thus far (incidentally, it's a Subaru - my first) so breaking the budget I'd set seems to have worked out okay.


The only bumper sticker coming to mind right now is one I spotted on a car ahead of me a couple years ago. It read, "My kid has more chromosomes than your kid!" and I had an immediate double-take reaction of 'what? that's incorrect!' before my genetics nerdery kicked in and I remembered there are several viable trisomies, and spent the rest of the drive speculating as to which one the sticker was for. A+ sticker, both funny and thought-provoking. :D

[buttonsbeadslace]

I searched for "farm bumper sticker" on Etsy and the very first result was wilder than I could have ever imagined. Or on a more intentionally funny note, this one.

My parents' Subaru that they handed down to me made it... I forget exactly, but over 110,000 miles before I sold it, and it was still in good condition except for the power steering pump. My parents are now on their third Subaru.

[harpers_child]

bumper stickers:
Keep honking I am also a goose https://www.etsy.com/listing/1483119989

rickroll qr code https://www.etsy.com/listing/1225083993