darkest before dawn etc

[dragonlady7]

someday i will be as put-together as the average twelve year old, someday

via https://ift.tt/3xYw0dt

god anyway so i loaded etsy in an incognito window and checked out as guest and even though it asked for my email address it still let me give it money. so i did the thing. i did. i had three separate people offer to help me and that made me feel very warm and fuzzy but also embarrassed. i love you guys, i was going to bully my sister to do it instead but i didn’t even have to do that.

i am a disaster today too but yesterday a coworker said something and it was only today as i looked at the video transfer desk where i was multitasking four different orders using an organizational system i had refined on my own that’s been foolproof for two years now that it struck me that, oh, I am actually exceptionally skilled at not only the physical aspects of this (it takes rather a lot of dexterity to thread the 8mm machine) and at handling the complicated software, but I’m really quite good at the workplace management stuff, the result being that I can multitask four entirely separate orders to maximize the work the expensive machines can do during open hours.

Like, I’m a fucking idiot who can’t count to 100 (and got in a fight with my supervisor about that on Tuesday, when I wanted to do an order for a qty:100 by weight, since we’d tared the scale for that exact purpose and I still had the weights written down, and he wanted them counted even though it takes longer because he, not having a numbers-related disability, thinks that’ll be more accurate), but I am also really fucking good at what I do.

So that realization has helped. The problem with staying in a job that sort of treats you like shit in exchange for maximal flexibility is that it really does wear down your self-esteem.

Also i just discovered that Maddy Prior (how did i not already know about her? i do not know she is not exactly obscure and YET somehow I’d mixed up Steely Dan and Steeleye Span my entire life) has not one but two recordings of Of All The Birds https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAqANRgfWi0, which I did not know was the title of that song my dad used to sing my niece. (It’s about an owl and we always called it The Owl but the first line is Of All The Brave Birds and apparently Roud categorized it as “Of All The Birds” so anyway. Whatever.)

(If you think this song isn’t going to make an appearance somewhere, likely related to mocking or alluding to Philippa, then think again.) (Your picture was not posted)