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dragonlady7via http://ift.tt/1TSQoWu:
deputychairman:
oscarisaacdaily:
+
“What do you do in your job anyway, Deputy?”
“Well some days I edit Google translate English into proper English, remove the collocation “inextricably intertwined” from all our corporate material and produce 5268 tweets with the hashtags #innovation and #startups in them, and then other days I just scroll through tumblr for hours and stare at Oscar Isaac’s face. Why, what do you do?”
@deputychairman #i’m sincerely interested in what you all do btw #please tell me #in terms that guard your secret real identity if you prefer! #oscar isaac
HA HA WHAT DO I DO at this very moment I have my laptop perched atop an aging, decrepit film-processing machine which I have just manually guided a card loaded with someone’s late-nineties APS film through even though the machine is designed to be automatic because BULLSHIT is SO BROKEN and there are NO PARTS to fix it.
It’s, for the record, I think, a Noritsu QSF-430L, but I’m not sure because most of the decals with the letters have flaked off. Oh, God, yes, that’s it, those stripes are decals which are flaking off, good Christ almighty. It is full of foul-smelling chemicals I am assured are no more hazardous than vinegar, in which I am occasionally immersed above my elbows as I go fucking spelunking for my missing film which is STUCK ON CROSSOVER 4 AGAIN FOR NO GODDAMN REASON WHAT THE FUCK.
*goes spelunking*
Mostly I’m stuck here watching the chain drive hitch and stutter and wondering where inside that lightproof metal corpse the plastic leader card has managed to get itself stuck. It is pulled along by sprocket teeth, how can it go adventuring? I don’t know, but it does. (The best part is that if one must go spelunking and is not certain all of the film has gotten past the stop bath phase, one must shut the lights off, and spelunk in the mostly-dark, which is awesome. I saved the film that way, the pictures will come out and not be light-struck, but it meant that I spent fifteen minutes immersed in 40C chemistry in the fucking dark.)
The consolation is that film that’s been exposed but not developed since the 90s is going to come out fogged as shit anyway, and so even if this machine were flawless, this film was going to look like a fuckin’ dog’s ass.
One of the last rolls I manhandled out of this fucker was clearly someone’s photos of a brand-new baby. A parade of relatives sitting in a hospital chair with a tiny bundled thing. That have sat, undeveloped, inside a plastic cartridge since at least 1995. That infant can vote, now, might have children of its own. My heroics have ensured that now that photo exists in digital form. (Well, not yet, I still have to flog it through the print machine, which is another beautiful Noritsu. Of slightly more recent vintage.)
Do I do this all day every day? No, I work in the Online Sales department. Mostly I sit and wait for the VPN to catch up. It’s fucking stupid. My entire position would be redundant if we’d updated our inventory control system since 2004. But I don’t want to talk about it. I’d rather rant about film developing.
Speaking of which the timer on my watch says the next leader card is probably stuck in the dryer now (I already fished it out of Crossover 4, so). Off I go.
deputychairman:
oscarisaacdaily:
+
“What do you do in your job anyway, Deputy?”
“Well some days I edit Google translate English into proper English, remove the collocation “inextricably intertwined” from all our corporate material and produce 5268 tweets with the hashtags #innovation and #startups in them, and then other days I just scroll through tumblr for hours and stare at Oscar Isaac’s face. Why, what do you do?”
@deputychairman #i’m sincerely interested in what you all do btw #please tell me #in terms that guard your secret real identity if you prefer! #oscar isaac
HA HA WHAT DO I DO at this very moment I have my laptop perched atop an aging, decrepit film-processing machine which I have just manually guided a card loaded with someone’s late-nineties APS film through even though the machine is designed to be automatic because BULLSHIT is SO BROKEN and there are NO PARTS to fix it.
It’s, for the record, I think, a Noritsu QSF-430L, but I’m not sure because most of the decals with the letters have flaked off. Oh, God, yes, that’s it, those stripes are decals which are flaking off, good Christ almighty. It is full of foul-smelling chemicals I am assured are no more hazardous than vinegar, in which I am occasionally immersed above my elbows as I go fucking spelunking for my missing film which is STUCK ON CROSSOVER 4 AGAIN FOR NO GODDAMN REASON WHAT THE FUCK.
*goes spelunking*
Mostly I’m stuck here watching the chain drive hitch and stutter and wondering where inside that lightproof metal corpse the plastic leader card has managed to get itself stuck. It is pulled along by sprocket teeth, how can it go adventuring? I don’t know, but it does. (The best part is that if one must go spelunking and is not certain all of the film has gotten past the stop bath phase, one must shut the lights off, and spelunk in the mostly-dark, which is awesome. I saved the film that way, the pictures will come out and not be light-struck, but it meant that I spent fifteen minutes immersed in 40C chemistry in the fucking dark.)
The consolation is that film that’s been exposed but not developed since the 90s is going to come out fogged as shit anyway, and so even if this machine were flawless, this film was going to look like a fuckin’ dog’s ass.
One of the last rolls I manhandled out of this fucker was clearly someone’s photos of a brand-new baby. A parade of relatives sitting in a hospital chair with a tiny bundled thing. That have sat, undeveloped, inside a plastic cartridge since at least 1995. That infant can vote, now, might have children of its own. My heroics have ensured that now that photo exists in digital form. (Well, not yet, I still have to flog it through the print machine, which is another beautiful Noritsu. Of slightly more recent vintage.)
Do I do this all day every day? No, I work in the Online Sales department. Mostly I sit and wait for the VPN to catch up. It’s fucking stupid. My entire position would be redundant if we’d updated our inventory control system since 2004. But I don’t want to talk about it. I’d rather rant about film developing.
Speaking of which the timer on my watch says the next leader card is probably stuck in the dryer now (I already fished it out of Crossover 4, so). Off I go.
