retail therapy

[dragonlady7]

spending

via https://ift.tt/3Agfcy8

so. the pandemic unemployment fuckery broke my ability to spend money like a normal person. i had zero income from March through September of 2020, because my employer had been reporting my social security number incorrectly for years (and i’d asked them to fix it for years! and they never had! love it, bet I’ll get my tax form next year and they still won’t have!) and so there was no record of my having worked ever– anyway. it eventually got sorted out, and after most of the year being broke as a fucking joke, I got like. 27 deposits all at once. it was intense.

Anyway I forgot how to buy things, during that time. I was staying with people, dependent on other people for food, and I bought only gas during that whole time, to keep my car running, and I just. Forgot. How people. Interact. With the economy.

So this year I’ve been trying to remember how to people, and how to have a normal relationship with things, and it’s going uhhh eccenctrically. I have bought myself several pairs of shoes, including a pair of rose-gold metallic Birkenstocks I’m currently wearing. And I bought myself that ridiculous dragon hoodie. And then I went back and bought myself more glitter spandex shit– a pair of custom leggings with dragon scale side panels, for example. And then I impulse-purchased myself a little black dress from a sustainable fashion site with inclusive sizing https://loudbodies.com/.

What I need is new sweatpants, some socks, and a like basic normal-person lined hoodie for cold weather. But now I’m worried I’ll impulse-spend too much money. I’m definitely getting the endorphins-from-adding-things-to-shopping-carts that can wind up a kind of ADHD addiction.

I still did not buy myself exquisite custom lingerie; i’ve had tabs open since February about that. Didn’t do it though. Probably won’t.

But today I’m wearing green stretch velvet sleeves with an otherwise monochrome-black outfit, and I can’t stop admiring how shiny my arms are. Maybe I needed a few endorphins.

(The dragon hoodie is….. saved for special occasions or else I’d wear it literally constantly. Also I want to alter it and give it pockets and make it slightly less fitted and… on the one hand if I do that it’ll be out of commission while I sew it, but on the other hand if I do that it will be uh, all I ever wear.) (Your picture was not posted)