hm

[dragonlady7]

via https://ift.tt/3oyTlzR

i finally medicated myself with various things to a point that my left hip doesn’t hurt, and it’s actually disorienting.

like, it doesn’t always hurt acutely when it’s like this, and i had told myself it was only hurting intermittently, but now that it’s really not hurting at all (except odd little periodic twinges) i am realizing that even when it didn’t hurt to a point that i noticed it, it certainly was hurting, because the absence is glaring.

the combination of things i took (a normal dose of ibuprofen, a moderate dose of alcohol, and a quite small dose of a substance recently made legal in my state) isn’t like, a daily-use kind of thing, but. it’s also not numbing. it’s anti-inflammatory, anti-me-noticing, and uhh i’m not sure what the third thing actually does. so I can still feel stuff– in fact, my other hip still hurts noticeably with certain movements. But my bad hip, and the lower back muscles behind it that have been bothering me because I’ve been sleeping in such weird positions, are sort of hollowly not-painful.

it’s got to be largely muscle issues and i’m partly annoyed that i never noticed that before and partly in despair about how tf i’m supposed to fix that.

(no, i’ve never taken a muscle relaxant. you can’t just get those.)

(ohhh cbd is a muscle relaxant, on some level. hm that’s. shit that’s probably what worked. god damn it i don’t want to be one of those people.)

It’s sort of humbling because bitch why have you let it get this bad, but then also, life is fucking hard and I don’t have time to cope with things, nobody’s gone around handing out free cope, a bitch has to do what a bitch has to do and sometimes that is just nothing. (Your picture was not posted)

Comments

[harpers_child]

If it's a muscle thing, you might be able to get relief with a tennis ball. You catch the ball between your back and a wall of your house and then move around to massage your back.

[(Anonymous)]

it's mostly not my back, except where it hurts from sleeping funny-- i prop my leg up while lying on my side, and it usually works for a couple of minutes and then i move and it strains my back weirdly. it's the muscles that hold the hip in the socket, i think. i *think*. i dunno. self-massage hasn't seemed to help at all, it's the deep-down-in muscles i can't reach with fingers. just like when i subluxed my shoulder and it hurt for months.

[(Anonymous)]

someday i'll remember my password on this computer and log in successfully......