dragonlady7

start then want to file serial numbers off and then don't, so we'll see if i can scrape out a couple of ficlets and scratch the itch at least, but i'm overcommitted on other things, and also i'm burying my dad on saturday so i could use a fucking distraction, tw grief

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dsudis https://tmblr.co/mi4JURR6RANSHn-yhHvMOmA replied to your entry “Crack” https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/663208427155292160/crack and said:

Okay but what absolutely WILD hoodie is Roche wearing to ~blend in~ at the clubs that can match his chaperon????

hehhhhh oh no. Curses, I’m not writing this– but. Well so.

There’s got to be a scene at a stupid Renn Faire kind of thing expressly so there’s a reason to put Roche in a chaperon, because I can’t otherwise justify it. (He has a signature stupid hat though, he has to. Fuck, akilah12902 https://tmblr.co/mmG9gp3S698rFJImW-pcxgg is right, Foltest probably put him in a fedora or something, and he looks real good in it but mostly discards it when he becomes an international fugitive from justice.) Yeah they have to hire him for the event; Iorveth is too distinctive to accompany Saskia anywhere without it being a whole fucking production and he’s cranky about it but. Well. He helped frame Roche in the first place, he knows the guy’s good. And honestly Saskia can protect herself but.

Iorveth is furious when it turns out that Roche looks really good in a chaperon.

Then we can get into the clubwear.

Roche has to refuse anything that’ll expose any of his tattoos– too incriminating– but heh also, let’s get this delicious nonsexual noncon in here, he can’t turn down anything Saskia wants because he’s desperate for the job and she has him over a barrel and as far as he’s aware she’s a spoiled rich brat who’d hurt him for fun so that’s tasty. So she gets him into a stupidly cute dragon hoodie (oh maybe it’s got unicorns and rainbows https://coquetryclothing.com/collections/mens-tops/products/mens-unicorns-rainbows-dragon-hoodie) and a skin-tight holographic long-sleeved t-shirt and… okay has some mercy and lets him wear jeans so he can still hide his ridiculous array of weapons but they’re fitted jeans, and the eyeliner, oh no, the eyeliner– he is far too old for this, and grumbles that he looks ridiculous, and Iorveth agrees and seems weirdly angry about it? but then Iorveth only has two emotions as far as Roche can tell, and those are smug superiority and seething anger, so like fuck that guy.

When they get home at like 5am and Roche has successfully foiled some kind of Bad Shenanigans Plot Point by being really good at his job and the girls are delightedly devouring pancakes and Iorveth grudgingly drops a plate of them in front of him and stalks away he has no idea that what Iorveth is so mad about is that with his eyeliner all smudged and glitter all over him and the hood finally pulled down and that unmistakable sweat-sheened glow of competence and his ridiculous fucking jaw he looks really fucking good and Iorveth is so goddamned angry about it.

mm yes and in this AU Roche is still a recovering alcoholic and he can’t tell anybody because that’s a weakness, and this gives us both the delicious angst of someone spiking a drink and him having to white-knuckle through the various Medical Problems that gives him, but also can give us an opportunity for a lovely personal misunderstanding, wherein Iorveth’s first overt gesture of peacemaking is to pour him a glass of wine, which he has to, teeth gritted, refuse, even though he’s off-duty and there goes his easy excuse, and Iorveth is offended so they don’t reconcile that way. (no that has to come during some kind of action sequence and maybe they punch each other about it and then make out listen i don’t make the rules these things just happen)

Oh yeah VES Ves is with him. She’s a grubby refugee with him. Their last gig was that they were scapegoated for assassinating Radovid which they very much were involved in of course but Roche will never tell anyone that he actually was only involved because Radovid tried to have Adda committed and he’d do anything for her. (Adda tried to take Roche in after, to protect him, and he refused, as he’s political poison and she can’t afford it and he’s right but she’s mad.)

Ves takes to being Saskia’s bodyguard like, well, something that takes to things really well, it’s pretty much a match made in heaven. Her daily outfit is a shirt cut down to her navel, of course, but for clubwear she just wears an open vest and pasties https://coquetryclothing.com/collections/pasties-and-body-stickers/products/fleur-de-lis-pasties and all her incriminating tattoos are covered in vinyl body stickers and of course she’s wearing the booty shorts with the hip cutouts, and furry boots, and somehow she’s still the most heavily-armed person in this club and yeah she high-kicks a man to death probably, Saskia loves her immensely.

At some point when Ciri’s in town it’s Roche who notices that her erstwhile suitor and nuisance, Morvran, is not the idle socialite he pretends to be, he is not actually taking all the drugs he pretends to be taking, he’s actually far sharper than he ought to be and whoever trained this kid was good… anyway Morvran has to drop the act to help with the Plot Climax and it… turns out… he’s actually kind of a good dude…. in there somewhere.

a n y w a y

I’m not writing this but I’m not not writing this, you animals

there was art, i can’t resist art, god damn it (Your picture was not posted)