though they're so cute, saskia and ciri mayhem twins, the witcher, idek what else to tag this, clubwear au, ciri gets to be a rave bunny and the chosen one, why the fuck not, roche/iorveth

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laurelnose https://laurelnose.tumblr.com/post/663173684959297536/crack:

bomberqueen17 https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/663167353820954624/crack:

So this– I don’t even know where to start with this, but. Someone linked to this clothing site for some other reason. It’s like a rave/burner/stilter/EDM festival fashion site, and I was like “oh there’s nothing here I’d ever–” but I had clicked to see what it was, and there were some really cute glitter spandex things and like, listen I own a large collection of spandex glitter booty shorts due to my decade-long sojourn in roller derby.

And I discovered this https://coquetryclothing.com/collections/dragons/products/new-build-your-own-dragon-crop?variant=29434077118551, which like, I… don’t know… if any of y’all know my email address… it contains the word “dragon” in it because of an old obsession…. and like…. oh no I. I need this.

(Yes, I have ordered myself one. I’ll share photos when it arrives. No, I don’t look like that mannequin. It doesn’t matter. This fucking thing is going to be shiny.)

Anyway I. As I was deciding on what colors I wanted this thing to be, I was of course thinking of Saskia, the current dragon-maiden of popular imagination. So uh.

Keep reading https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/663167353820954624/crack

hmm… yes. cosigned

i’ve misread the brief this isn’t a romper

no it doesn’t have to be. She can be in any of just an array of perfectly wild legwear https://coquetryclothing.com/collections/shorts, if that’s what Her Highness prefers. (Several of the skirts have tails and spikes https://coquetryclothing.com/products/build-your-own-dragon-tail-skirt?variant=29434077577303 built in, you can’t go wrong.)

ciri’s lil blep i love her

Ha I can’t stop looking at this. Oh no now I have ideas for this A/U.

Hear me out, modern times but still Continent, still has a mix of monarchies and assorted old-fashioned things mixed in, plus of course magic. Ciri is the long-lost recovered heiress and has been formally adopted as a Crown Princess. Saskia’s the heiress of some small obscure duchy or whatever. (And yes she’s actually a dragon, I really just like that for her, you know? maybe her lowkey ability to hypnotize people has helped with her rise from obscurity. maybe the nobility of this lil place has always been dragons and is occasionally sort of reclusive to cover up that fact. who can say. maybe the free state was just carved out of aedirn after the terrible last war and saskia surfaced out of the depths of history to give the place some respectability so they could hang with the other states.)

Iorveth is her head of security, a bit controversial. (But he and Geralt have similar enough circumstances that they’re quite good friends– Geralt adopted Ciri when she was missing, and raised her as a daughter. Iorveth didn’t quite do that, but Saskia spent the last war as a partisan in the countryside, and he took her under his protection and whether he kept her alive or she kept him alive is really a toss-up.)

And Roche is the disgraced former bodyguard of the assassinated Foltest whose death more or less kicked off the last war, and he’s out of a job and after the last war he’s more or less poison, but as he was made into a scapegoat no one actually wants to kill him because that might make someone look harder at what actually went down, so he’s kicking around in increasing desperation. Saskia turns him up somehow and drags him back to Iorveth, wanting to hire him as a bodyguard.

Roche knows fine fucking well Iorveth was involved in the conspiracy to assassinate Foltest. So does Iorveth. He in turn knows fine well Roche did nothing wrong and in fact nearly foiled the entire thing. He knows Roche is quite good at what he does. He also doesn’t want Roche anywhere near his precious princess.

But his precious princess insists.

Anyway— shenanigans ensue and there’s got to be at least one action scene involving the two young ladies in clubwear, if only for the stunning image of Ciri in metallic short-chaps https://coquetryclothing.com/collections/chaps/products/build-your-own-short-chaps-with-side-pockets?variant=39297233649751 wielding a forty-four-inch sword without her unicorn-horn hood falling down, but. Roche gets redeemed and also gets to bone Iorveth, and political stability is restored to the Continent one way or another.

But, yes, Roche for a while has to be the bodyguard that has to go with them to the clubs and he hates it. And in the morning when they get home all rumpled and exhausted and Iorveth makes them pancakes he gives Roche some and Roche really doesn’t know what to do about that.

Except eat the pancakes. They’re good pancakes. (Your picture was not posted)