murder privileges
May. 22nd, 2021 05:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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We were driving out in the city the other night, on a road that had a bike lane, and as we came up on an intersection a wobbly bicyclist rounded the corner and swerved out of his lane slightly into ours. He corrected, and it was never a real danger, but Dude, who was driving, complained, to me, “Bike man, stay in your lane.”
“Because if we hit you,” I said, “you die, and then we go to jail for murder.”
“Jail for*ever*,” Dude complained, “and like, I mean–”
“If I’m gonna go to jail for murder,” I said, agreeing with what I knew he was goign to say, “I want it to be for someone I damn well meant to murder.”
“You’re not even on my list, buddy,” Dude said to the now long-behind-us bicyclist.
“You can’t cut the line like that,” I said. “I’m going down it’s going to be for someone who really deserved it.”
“Getting murdered by me is a rare privilege,” Dude filled in.
“IT IS AN HONOR TO DIE BY MY BLADE,” I bellowed, as we paused at a stop sign. A woman at the crosswalk looked briefly alarmed, and then we drove on. (Your picture was not posted)
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Date: 2021-05-22 05:04 pm (UTC)