dragonlady7

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we reworded the obituary to say “Due to the pandemic” instead of “because of stupid COVID” at my suggestion, because I feared that the phrasing of “stupid Covid” would make it sound like we were maybe mad about the rules and not mad at the situation in general. Really don’t want to go on public record seeming to disagree with the controversial but necessary rules against public gatherings, by accident, instead of anger at the whole scenario.

Meanwhile my lovely mother-not-in-law offered to bring us takeout from a local restaurant for dinner, only the restaurant in question happened to be closed tonight. I instead requested pizza and wings, which i’d been wanting but had been saving to have with her because it’s more fun (and you can eat more with three people so you get to order both kinds of wings if you want), so I kind of invited myself over to her house, but. I had just fallen into despair at not having managed to get myself dressed like a people by 4pm, and that gave me the tiny impetus I needed to actually get dressed presentably, and it’s generally good.

I’m not good at like. Any of this. So. Anyway.

Mom doesn’t want me to come home for Christmas, she’d rather I stay and do my original plans, and IDK, I guess I should do that, but then I don’t really… know what to do with myself at the moment. Maybe I should go back to work, but my heart’s not in it and I can’t hold a thought in my head. I guess I’ll check in with them and see if there are any projects they need my input into. But it’s not really fair to go in and be useless.

I have mostly not reacted much to all of this but behind the cut I’m going to put a screenshot of a text message that made me bawl like a baby in the shower. Sorry I’m not putting an image transcript tho, I just can’t bear to write it down. Suffice to say, it was an extremely incisive and accurate observation by Farmkid.

😭

She’s right. Anyway. Going to go dress like a human and go eat pizza.

(I had too much pizza during the early part of the pandemic– it was the only non-home-cooked food I got for most of it. MM’s household has a Weekly Pizza Night, that then yields leftovers well into the week, and at the farm we would get pizza at least biweekly on chicken processing days, and so for a while there I was like ugh I don’t want pizza. But the best pizza is from Buffalo and comes with wings, and i haven’t had either, and I finally want them again, but I was making myself save it for a time when Dude’s mom would be there too. So.

Sigh. This is all just a bummer and irritating. (Your picture was not posted)