akilah12902:swordsandsoftwords:Headcanon time, because projecting on fictional characters is better.

[dragonlady7]

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akilah12902 https://akilah12902.tumblr.com/post/636632505017057280:

swordsandsoftwords https://swordsandsoftwords.tumblr.com/post/636576377283477504:

Headcanon time, because projecting on fictional characters is better than therapy:

Lambert strikes me as the exact kind of asshole that will master any one skill, and then goes and does his absolute worst at it.

Lambert, trained fighter and superhuman strenght and agility, tosses a bomb at a monster and calls it a day.

Lambert, who learned how to cook anything palatably enough to survive in the woods, burns a pot of water when asked to make dinner.

Lambert, who’s been alive for longer than all our great-grandparents combined, pretends he’s never even heard of this soap thing you’re talking about.

Lambert, who’s read half the Kaer Morhen library, pretends he can’t read or write.

So basically, my little pisspot is a dumbass idiot, but he’s a dumbass idiot who could absolutely do the thing he’s been asked to do. He just chooses not to. Because he’s a contrary little pisspot and if you’re going to hate him anyway, he’s going to give you a good reason for it (by pissing on your cat).

Lambert will pretend to be unable to read to better assess people https://she-who-drank-vodka-with-cats.tumblr.com/tagged/Lambert-will-pretend-to-be-unable-to-read-to-better-assess-people, will they read the textro him? Will they show their annoyance? Will they repeat the contents truthfully? https://she-who-drank-vodka-with-cats.tumblr.com/tagged/will-they-read-the-textro-him%3F-Will-they-show-their-annoyance%3F-Will-they-repeat-the-contents-truthfully%3F, once an adviser told him that a contract paid only haf the amount of what the lord had written down in hopes that he could keep the rest https://she-who-drank-vodka-with-cats.tumblr.com/tagged/once-an-adviser-told-him-that-a-contract-paid-only-haf-the-amount-of-what-the-lord-had-written-down-in-hopes-that-he-could-keep-the-rest, Lambert stole the books and proofed to the Lord that the advisor had stolen money before https://she-who-drank-vodka-with-cats.tumblr.com/tagged/Lambert-stole-the-books-and-proofed-to-the-Lord-that-the-advisor-had-stolen-money-before, he earned double that day; for killing the monster and for going through the county’s tax revenue https://she-who-drank-vodka-with-cats.tumblr.com/tagged/he-earned-double-that-day%3B-for-killing-the-monster-and-for-going-through-the-county%27s-tax-revenue .

[Bad username or unknown identity: she-who-drank-vodka-with-cats]​ oh dang i like this idea

personally i think he has a bit of a hard time with reading and

writing#since in my hc he learned so late#and overcompensates by being a perfectionist about it#but i really like the assessment method thing https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/personally+i+think+he+has+a+bit+of+a+hard+time+with+reading+and+writing via akilah12902

well porque no los dos, no? he’s good at pretending not to be able to read because he clearly remembers being illiterate, and remembers how people treat the illiterate, and has noticed how useful it is as a metric of what kind of person someone is.

but he totally has extremely weird handwriting semi-on-purpose and it varies by how mad he is at you