dragonlady7

horrible, it was fine, but it's, it's a thing, really tho, tw teeth, about the author

via https://ift.tt/32HjOiR

So I’ve been a big weirdo about teeth for like, ever, totally by accident, and my semi-debut in the Witcher fandom https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/190893344556/another-wip-excerpt was Jaskier and Yennefer bullshitting about Witcher teeth, and I just wrote another story to tie up the ends of the Witcher teeth thing https://archiveofourown.org/works/27436687

and I just got some weird RL payback for it, I guess?

Anyway

I got home from work yesterday and Dude was cooking dinner. Not unusual, always nice. (I bitch about his inability to do dishes but he manages to cook just fine anyway.) He and I are talking, and after a moment he’s like “Oh,” and gets a funny look on his face.

“Oh?” I say.

“I found something,” he said, and turned to pick up something small. He held his hand out. “Hold out your hand,” he said, when I just sat there staring at him in sudden worry.

Gingerly, I put out my hand, palm-upward, and into my hand, he dropped

a human tooth, a molar, intact but with one of the roots snapped off about halfway down

“That was in the basement, on the floor,” he said.

(Let’s pause for a moment, and reflect on what a fucked-up thing that is to do. You’re with me here, right? Well, scratch that and reverse it, because:)

“Oh!” I said. “Yeah, that’s mine.” I recognized it.

I never had my wisdom teeth out because I have a weird genetic flaw, that Farmsister shares with me: some of our adult molars never came in. In my case, one of my 2-year molars had to be forcibly extracted when I was a teenager, because it was fusing to my jawbone. When they took it out, they broke one of the roots, or maybe it was dissolved, or maybe it’s still attached to my jawbone. Hard to say.

I now have a gap in my teeth, but it’s way back; I used to just not really have much on that side but then my wisdom tooth came in and filled in a lot, but it still doesn’t touch the tooth in front of it and there’s just a hole so I can’t eat almonds, it’s annoying.

“It goes here,” I said, and gestured.

“Why was it on the basement floor?” Dude asked, unreasonably.

“I mean,” I said, “they let me keep it, so I did, and it was in a little envelope in one of the boxes down there, and probably the envelope got damp and it fell out.”

So anyway. Warning for an image of an extracted human tooth! (no gore. i mean, if there was it’d be a neat trick, this thing came out of my head in probably 1992?)

there he is! my lil guy!

the dentist was like “don’t worry by the time she’s an adult dental implant technology will be so advanced she’ll just be able to get a new one put in and it’ll be no big deal” and little did he know that i wouldn’t ever see a dentist again once i was off my parents’ insurance because we live in a fucking hellscape third world country HA HA HA anyway

I am going to make a necklace out of it I think