dragonlady7

things that really resonate with nonbinary peeps, i have that same sort of feeling, anyway, also these songs are a bop if not my style, i have enjoyed them, so that's a rec, I'M FREE IDIOTS, a very lambert feel

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oofta!!! you know, a few people have said to me that “never been much of a good good woman” was something that resonated with them re: Gender Stuff, and honestly, i’m really happy that it does, for a host of reasons. i’m cis, but i’m lazy about it, insofar as like … Performing Womanhood goes. that’s never dipped its toe into any gender identity questions, because actually i do really love all the accoutrements of being a woman and i’m thrilled to be one, but i there is something so tiring, i think, about expectations of womanhood, sometimes. (i assume it’s also very tiring to be a man, or to be nonbinary; having never been either of those things, i couldn’t say.)

all that being said: what makes me so happy about people telling me that this line has resonated them with regard to being or not being cisgendered is that – hoo boy i hope this is not unwoke, give me a little grace here team – it makes me feel really, like, unified? in a weird way? whether you are comfortable in your gender, or newly recognizing it, or realizing that what was assigned isn’t you at all, we’re all kind of … in a boat together.

like. is anybody good at being their gender. what does that even mean. you can be a good woman and still be kind of bad at being a woman; you can be a good man and still kind of bad at being a man. (you can be a bad man or bad woman and still “good” at “being a man or a woman.”) (…..& then i guess nonbinary people really just out there being like i’M FREE, IDIOTS, which i gotta say: i admire.)

i think gender is always a process, of being, of becoming, of changing; i’m a woman because i’m a woman, and how i act out being a woman is specific to who and how i am at any given time.

it’s like how my favorite thing in all the world is bowling. i LOVE bowling. i have my own bowling shoes. but i am … guys. i am BAD at bowling. i am NOT good at it, but i AM enthusiastic, and honestly, isn’t that what being a gender should be about???? just having a good time and turning on the disco lights???