dragonlady7

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lazaefair https://lazaefair.tumblr.com/ replied to your post “Hey is there anyway I can tempt you into The Old Guard fandom? I…” https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/626161632138166272/hey-is-there-anyway-i-can-tempt-you-into-the-old

mooooooood. Exact reason why I haven’t watched The Untamed or Guardian despite already reading fanfiction in both fandoms! I usually chalk up my resistance to knowing that I get hyper-identified with characters and it takes up emotional resources, and if I’m depleted on that, I can’t watch anything new. Sounds like your brain knows you just don’t have the spell slots for more parasocial friends.

Yes this is it exactly. I have never been one of those people that can bounce among different worldbuilding situations, and write in more than one fandom at once– I can write more than one story, but I can’t really do a whole separate fandom all at the same time. I have tried only a few times, and maybe I could grow into it, but.

I desperately, desperately want to write original shit. I am so desperately tired of trying to fit the things I care about into the cracks left by (usually) rich white men and committees and things, around the canons they created to sell, and it’s great to find places to expand into and fill and heave like ice to make room for the things I care about, that’s not what I want to do all the time.

So I’m not exactly looking for more fandoms to involve myself in. I get that’s not usual; most fannish people are generally fannish, and are always looking for new things to be fans of.

I’m generally not. I want fandoms because if I find something other people care about, then I can talk about the things I care about and people will listen, and if i do it with the faces and voices of characters people are invested in, then I can have an audience and not be alone in the dark with this horrifyingly overactive imagination.

But the point isn’t the source material, for me. I like characters, sure, and there’s nothing insincere about my fannishness– but I’m not looking for new places to catch my imagination. I just don’t want to be alone. If I can find something people are willing to talk about, I’ll stay there as long as people are still willing to talk about it.

ravenreyamidala https://ravenreyamidala.tumblr.com/ replied to your post “Hey is there anyway I can tempt you into The Old Guard fandom? I…” https://bomberqueen17.tumblr.com/post/626161632138166272/hey-is-there-anyway-i-can-tempt-you-into-the-old

There are very short comic books that the movie follows very closely if you want to read those instead and then spoilers!

Ah see the point isn’t that the box glows, the point is that the box has additional worlds and characters in it, and I don’t have room in my life for them. I’m afraid negotiating different methods for me to sneak around my own brain’s limits isn’t going to change this fairly major portion of my personality, alas.

I’m glad the fandom’s so cool, and I probably will someday watch it and be like ah yes this would’ve been just the thing, but I am really, really, really not looking for a different fandom to be a part of at the moment. I just don’t want to be alone, and the Witcher hasn’t gone off the rails into being insane yet, possibly because S2 is delayed– I don’t delude myself that’s going to go anywhere good, though I hold out hope it’ll do better than… what was my last big fandom? Ugh. Yeah.

Gods I’m just so tired of being reliant on other people’s canons. But I’m more tired of being alone. All I want is not to be alone.