sigh

[dragonlady7]

authors earn money so it's not even like i'm turning down money, i couldn't sell it anyway, so i might as well feed into the prominence of some old white guy's media franchised property, i can't even make myself write fic for stuff that has no audience!, so how'm i gonna do original writing. alas

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tobermoriansass https://tobermoriansass.tumblr.com/ mentioned you on a post “I realize this is a completely irrational sentiment since I do not, in…” https://tobermoriansass.tumblr.com/post/625426428044967936/i-realize-this-is-a-completely-irrational

bomberqueen17 right! Everytime I open my origfic there’s a voice which goes “but what if I wrote this and got instant feedback instead” so I just don’t do it

Exactly. I leave the orig fic open for months at a time and tell myself I’m going to work on it, yes, I’m going to, and I’ll tab over to it and be like yeah, yeah today I’m gonna… hang on and then I refresh the tab and go through my other tabs and I’m like ooooooo the last Witcher chapter update got 16 comments and 75 kudos in a single day and two of the commenters mentioned a thing I wanted to write more about so I bet I could knock out another 5k words on that in a week and then I’d get more comments and I wouldn’t be so alone in this cold world…

and that’s why I have checks 107 works posted on AO3 and precisely 0 original novels published anywhere.

Sigh.

Comments

[tobermoriansass]

LOL yeah I feel this. And at least half the time the fun stuff is being able to yell about fic as you work on it with other people because they're also into the same characters, versus origfic where it just feels a bit like you're trying to force medicine down everyone's throats and they're smiling politely about it.

Which is completely irrational! But who said brains were rational creatures.

[dragonlady7]

oh my god i have so much psychic damage from writing workshops in high school and college. because most of the people you're exchanging concrit with, as fellow students, are just... not... good... writers... and so many writers' groups I've gone to, the others there are only there to wait their turn to talk and then go on and on and on and on about their OCs and about the world they're creating and many of them really shouldn't be in a writer's group they should be in a role-playing group or something because they don't really want to tell a story, they want to live in a world they've created, and that's all wonderful and valid and fine and all that but christ they're all terrible listeners, they're just there to make you listen to them talk about their weird fantasies, and I have become so scarred by that, that I can no longer stand to discuss my own writings with anyone IRL at all, and online I'm pretty shy about it too because oh my lord, I have Been There so many times when some fuckin nerd wants to go on and on about their thing which is either not super original and very clearly based closely on D&D, or is uh very original to the point of total incoherence, and
anyway
I
don't like to talk about my OCs with anybody because I can hear myself becoming That Overexcited Nerd
(like. the worst. the worst part. is when they're so clearly enamored of their own imagination. and they're super badly explaining something, and it's like. this is this totally unique concept, right, and it's so original and nobody's done this before so it's hard to explain, but... and after a while you realize it's actually something that super happened in a book you and everyone else read a couple of years back, and this person read it, internalized it, and now is reinventing the wheel, only it's square, and that makes it totally different and they don't get that their innovation now means the wheel won't work.)

(I am not a great person, infinitely, and I can't actually handle being polite through yet more of that kind of shit, and I inevitably depress myself into thinking my own stuff is probably like that considered through the lens of literally anyone else's perception. So it's a super good way to get myself to stop writing for three to five years, again...)