state of the me
Jun. 5th, 2020 07:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7via https://ift.tt/3eTQw47
well. i’m headed for the farm tomorrow.
currently the kids are crying over nothing, and i’m sitting in the guest room trying to figure out how to pack up my shit. I’ve been here so long I’ve like, silted in more and more shit on every trip home, and I’ve really been trying to like. Bring things home with me so this wouldn’t happen, but at this point I am not entirely sure I’ll be able to fit everything into my car. Yikes.
Things have been a bit stressful here; DF had a miserable week at work and there may be some kind of workplace upheaval, post-COVID, who knows, but there’s been a discussion floated that their little family may wind up relocating entirely; given his specialty, it’s possible they’d have to go as far as Cleveland or NYC to find a good job for him. It’s highly likely none of that would ever happen, of course, but even the slight chance of it is so upsetting– of course nothing’s been said to the kids, but it’s upsetting MM and it’s upset me to think about it. I don’t know what I’d do. I don’t visit them as much as I want as it is, and they’re between the two places I commute from. I don’t know what I’d do if they were like, twice-annual Destination distance away. Cry, perhaps.
There’s a very real chance I’ve sat in on my last Witcher 3 session, as well; we’ll see if DF’s up to playing it tonight, but I just don’t know whether I’ll be back here. I might! It depends on what’s opening up. But this is the end of this phase of isolation.
I’ll be seeing more of them this summer, but summer’s my busiest time of year, and normally I spend most of it at the farm but if the camera store is reopening I assume they’ll want me. I could use some money, but. It’s premature to discuss– I just don’t know.
And of course, it finally occurred to my folks to tell me that my niblings are coming up from Maryland in a couple of weeks; they’d made the plans with my older sister a week or so ago but then just hadn’t told anyone else. I’ve been running around like a fool trying to nail plans down and there’s little enough information to be had, so it kind of stings not to have access to what little there really is to know! Ugh. I don’t actually know if I’ll be able to see them or not, and I don’t know if we’re still isolating or if we’d be able to hang out, or what!
I have absolutely no idea what’s going on at the farm or how things are or what their plans are. Asking Farmsister hasn’t yielded much; I have to go in person. I don’t know, man, i just don’t.
Nobody knows anything, me least of all.
But I got my car registration renewed, at least. And I’ve had nothing to contribute to the protests but my anxious scrolling– not even donations, as I haven’t had any of my unemployment come through, so I’m feeling pretty useless about that– but none of this is about my feelings, so I’ve at least managed to shut up about that! I’ll figure it out later, and maybe by the time the struggle has been wearing on long enough for the people who leapt in at the beginning to get tired, I’ll have come up with something I can do. Meanwhile I’m going to go and help some food producers produce food, I guess; it’s what I can do.
Yesterday MM and I went out on an Expedition because shops are reopening, and we went to the estate jeweler’s where she has found much of the joy in her life these last couple of years. He was open for masked customers no more than three at a time, so we went in. I had found an old giftcard from work with an expiration date next month, so I used some of it to buy myself an extravagance– a vintage lapis necklace, to semi-replace the one I lost in the yurt fire last year. I know, I was just talking about how broke I am, so I feel guilty for doing it now, but in the moment it was like, The Only Thing I Had Ever Wanted, and it’s the only money I’ve spent the entire time I’ve been Unemployed Without Compensation, apart from about $20 of food and uh some gas, I dunno. My math on that is like, ridiculously thrown-off by the changing prices.
I’ll figure it all out. It’ll be fine.
Oh, the other good thing is that the threat of having to pack all my shit up made me really go through all the sewing shit I brought, and I have managed to convert five dresses from Needs Repair/Alterations to I Can Wear This Now. (One of them had nothing wrong with it at all… but listen, it still counts, it’s been moved to the right category.)
I didn’t make half the progress on any of that that I was hoping, but it was more than nothing and I’ll take it.
Instead of Witchering last night, we did a video chat with my dude, who I miss rather a lot. He had little to report, but his mom went to stay with his sister, so he doesn’t even have the once-a-week dinner with her that he’d been relying on for all of his human contact during all of this. (DF was so tired I doubt he’d’ve wanted to Witcher anyway; he played some glitter robots and then passed out on the couch, occasionally sitting up to contribute something to the video chat, but was mostly incoherent.)
Right, I need to figure out how to strategize all this shit into my car now. Ay yi yi.
well. i’m headed for the farm tomorrow.
currently the kids are crying over nothing, and i’m sitting in the guest room trying to figure out how to pack up my shit. I’ve been here so long I’ve like, silted in more and more shit on every trip home, and I’ve really been trying to like. Bring things home with me so this wouldn’t happen, but at this point I am not entirely sure I’ll be able to fit everything into my car. Yikes.
Things have been a bit stressful here; DF had a miserable week at work and there may be some kind of workplace upheaval, post-COVID, who knows, but there’s been a discussion floated that their little family may wind up relocating entirely; given his specialty, it’s possible they’d have to go as far as Cleveland or NYC to find a good job for him. It’s highly likely none of that would ever happen, of course, but even the slight chance of it is so upsetting– of course nothing’s been said to the kids, but it’s upsetting MM and it’s upset me to think about it. I don’t know what I’d do. I don’t visit them as much as I want as it is, and they’re between the two places I commute from. I don’t know what I’d do if they were like, twice-annual Destination distance away. Cry, perhaps.
There’s a very real chance I’ve sat in on my last Witcher 3 session, as well; we’ll see if DF’s up to playing it tonight, but I just don’t know whether I’ll be back here. I might! It depends on what’s opening up. But this is the end of this phase of isolation.
I’ll be seeing more of them this summer, but summer’s my busiest time of year, and normally I spend most of it at the farm but if the camera store is reopening I assume they’ll want me. I could use some money, but. It’s premature to discuss– I just don’t know.
And of course, it finally occurred to my folks to tell me that my niblings are coming up from Maryland in a couple of weeks; they’d made the plans with my older sister a week or so ago but then just hadn’t told anyone else. I’ve been running around like a fool trying to nail plans down and there’s little enough information to be had, so it kind of stings not to have access to what little there really is to know! Ugh. I don’t actually know if I’ll be able to see them or not, and I don’t know if we’re still isolating or if we’d be able to hang out, or what!
I have absolutely no idea what’s going on at the farm or how things are or what their plans are. Asking Farmsister hasn’t yielded much; I have to go in person. I don’t know, man, i just don’t.
Nobody knows anything, me least of all.
But I got my car registration renewed, at least. And I’ve had nothing to contribute to the protests but my anxious scrolling– not even donations, as I haven’t had any of my unemployment come through, so I’m feeling pretty useless about that– but none of this is about my feelings, so I’ve at least managed to shut up about that! I’ll figure it out later, and maybe by the time the struggle has been wearing on long enough for the people who leapt in at the beginning to get tired, I’ll have come up with something I can do. Meanwhile I’m going to go and help some food producers produce food, I guess; it’s what I can do.
Yesterday MM and I went out on an Expedition because shops are reopening, and we went to the estate jeweler’s where she has found much of the joy in her life these last couple of years. He was open for masked customers no more than three at a time, so we went in. I had found an old giftcard from work with an expiration date next month, so I used some of it to buy myself an extravagance– a vintage lapis necklace, to semi-replace the one I lost in the yurt fire last year. I know, I was just talking about how broke I am, so I feel guilty for doing it now, but in the moment it was like, The Only Thing I Had Ever Wanted, and it’s the only money I’ve spent the entire time I’ve been Unemployed Without Compensation, apart from about $20 of food and uh some gas, I dunno. My math on that is like, ridiculously thrown-off by the changing prices.
I’ll figure it all out. It’ll be fine.
Oh, the other good thing is that the threat of having to pack all my shit up made me really go through all the sewing shit I brought, and I have managed to convert five dresses from Needs Repair/Alterations to I Can Wear This Now. (One of them had nothing wrong with it at all… but listen, it still counts, it’s been moved to the right category.)
I didn’t make half the progress on any of that that I was hoping, but it was more than nothing and I’ll take it.
Instead of Witchering last night, we did a video chat with my dude, who I miss rather a lot. He had little to report, but his mom went to stay with his sister, so he doesn’t even have the once-a-week dinner with her that he’d been relying on for all of his human contact during all of this. (DF was so tired I doubt he’d’ve wanted to Witcher anyway; he played some glitter robots and then passed out on the couch, occasionally sitting up to contribute something to the video chat, but was mostly incoherent.)
Right, I need to figure out how to strategize all this shit into my car now. Ay yi yi.
