wrong chat window
May. 16th, 2020 05:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonlady7via https://ift.tt/2Ts0kKH
So I definitely got my texting windows mixed up and sent my family groupchat a status update on our Witcher 3 game, instead ofakilah12902– like a dumbass, I used her wallet name in my phone contacts, and her wallet name is very similar to that of one of my sisters who happens to be listed first in the family grouptext, and I was also trying to simultaneously sew a stuffed animal and watch the action onscreen and also I haven’t been sleeping much lately so. ANYHOW– I sent the text (which was innocuous, but nonsense, and contained the name Geralt), realized immediately, followed up with “oh whoops wrong convo!” and then replied to the on-topic convo with “I wish I could be there to help!” [re: Farmsister’s seedling sale and its social-distancing woes].
Older Sister wrote back, I wish I could be there to help too. His ability to communicate with grunts is amazing. He’s like the Shakespeare of grunting. Nice biceps too.
this was Extremely out of character for Older Sister. (Especially the double spaces after the periods, who does that??) My mom replied with a string of question marks, Farmsister laughed that we all must’ve watched the Witcher, Middle-Little was like it’s not just the biceps, and Older Sister finally clarified, Sorry, that was [Husband] responding to B’s reference to Geralt - a character in a show we actually both watched!
So, I then had to explain that yes, we’re getting through this by making DF play a game we like to watch. Everyone was amused by this, fortunately.
Today MM got a letter from her brother-in-law and he commented it’s so nice of you to humor DF by watching him play video games and she was like he does not realize that is not the dynamic here…
It is not– we didn’t really give him a choice; that’s the game we want to watch. If he wants to game on the TV in the family room while we’re all here, it’s gotta be that one, and we’re amused enough by it that we’ll forego watching TV or movies in order to watch it, so.
Anyhow. Last night we discovered a horrifying pulsating mass under a hillock, that talked, and gave Geralt a quest. We debated about whether to fight this pulsating mass, or to do what it wanted. And in the end, really, all options were bad, and it seemed novel, at least, to try this new terror instead of the one that had strings of human ears hanging all over the marsh.
Part of this quest involved catching a wild horse. “I need to Mount It,” DF said, with bizarre emphasis.
“Knock yourself out,” I said absently.
He did successfully Mount the horse, and then it behaved as if it were tame even after the Axii wore off, so like, ok, but also he never put a bridle on it and then it was just wearing a bit, and like. IDK, IDK. We debated about this demon thing, and like. What other options does this terrible village have?? The swamp witches with the strings of ears? This demon horse thing might be the best fucking option in this ‘verse.
At this point I should mention that before DF had even booted up the Xbox, MM had collected a basket of socks and a drawing of her son’s, and the two of us were preoccupied in attempting to design a stuffed animal based on her son’s Pokemon-inspired drawing of a theoretical new creature called a “drillworm”, about which he had been telling her each night at bedtime for a while now.
Now, we get that the word Drillworm is inherently funny. And to add to it, we’re making stuffed animals, so there was a lot of innuendo about stuffing, and mostly I kept saying it, and then not realizing how what I’d said sounded, and such.
Those are the finished Drillworms, by the way. Yes, there’s a baby one made out of a toe from a toe sock. The one I made has a thick fabric horn I embroidered lines down– that’s the maroon one.
So– this is ongoing, and I’m juggling several text convos, and well, anyway, I wasn’t entirely on form. MM made three Drillworms in the time it took me to make that one. And I complained a lot about the stuffing hole.
And I wasn’t entirely paying attention, and then I looked up just in time to see Geralt hand the silver dagger (IDK if it’s actually silver, I was just internally referencing the song [link is to joan baez 1965 performance of “Silver Dagger”]) to the village alderman and say the Crones had said he’d know about payment.
OK so like TW for gore: The guy kinda sighs, looks at the dagger, walks away. In a moment he CUTS OFF HIS OWN EAR and then comes back and hands it to Geralt. AAAAHHHHHHHH WTF.
I guess that’s where the strings of human ears all over the bog come from!!
So here’s the thing. I’m a sucker for a good monstrous triple goddess. I eat up that shit with the monstrous crone aspect etc, and the ruthlessness of nature (which incidentally the pulsating thing under the hill has talked about– Geralt calls it out about the bodies of presumable innocents nearby and it’s like “nature doesn’t care about innocence”)– like, I eat that up! That’s great! I had thought from the beginning that these crones were my jam.
But these crones are not my jam. Alas. They’re petty and sly and cruel and not my jam. A proper triple goddess, first off, should have a maiden and mother aspect, and should be ruthless like nature but also reliable like nature. Nature is inexorable. Nature is not sly. Nature is indifferent.
Anyway. Disappointing Crones, and they veered too close to just plain misogyny in their attempt at Monstrous Feminism (because there’s nothing grosser than an ugly woman who desires a man! yikes), and it was just sort of. Bleh. No, we’ll have to fight them, or go against them, at least.
We hit level 9, got two more brief Ciri playthrough sections (one where we died like four times beforeakilah12902 finally explained that you’re not actually supposed to fight, you’re supposed to run) , got to meet Uma who I know from playthrough videos is Plot-Significant but they hustle him right back off screen, and decided we were going to go follow a quest thing (It’s “Jenny O’ The Woods” but we’ve collectively decided it’s Jenny From The Block instead, and so there’s a lot of absent-minded singing as we go along) and go on foot instead of fast-traveling so we could hit up this alchemist’s shop that was showing up on the map.
We get to the alchemist’s shop and suddenly recognize it: it’s fucking Boobs McSassy, Kiera Metz. “Fuck,” said DF, and tried to turn and leave, but he’d gotten too close and triggered a cutscene.
Well… oh, it does give you the option to just. Buy stuff from her.
And boy she’s got great stuff. So we sold all our extra shit to her, and bought enough stuff that we ended up with a full suite, basically, of all the different kinds of oil. BEAST OIL YEAH! We are only bisongrass away from Enhanced Beast Oil, and from there it’s just a hop, skip, jump and some weird esoteric herbals to get the long-coveted Superior Beast Oil of legend and hilarity.
“Check out my Oil Collection,” DF said, enormously smug. “I have a full range of oils and lubricants.”
Including the specific oil you want to use fighting the Wild Hunt’s dogs, which are not, categorically, beasts, for the record.
(Got my Jenny from the woods, DF sang absently. I’m a dude in the woods. There’s a wolf in the woods. Gettin’ killed in the woods. )
A bit later, DF was like, “but we need Dude Oil,” as he fought with some bandits. I glanced up at the screen, saw a selection of large red objects lying on the ground, and said in horror “Are those human livers?”
“No,” DF said. (They were mushrooms.)
“Ah shit,” I said, remembering how much of his life is spent attending specifically liver transplant surgeries. “Too soon?” He sort of rolled his eyes at me.
Not long after that, the bandits got too annoying, and DF had to switch to the other game he likes, and we just finished up the drillworms and went to bed.
So I definitely got my texting windows mixed up and sent my family groupchat a status update on our Witcher 3 game, instead of
akilah12902– like a dumbass, I used her wallet name in my phone contacts, and her wallet name is very similar to that of one of my sisters who happens to be listed first in the family grouptext, and I was also trying to simultaneously sew a stuffed animal and watch the action onscreen and also I haven’t been sleeping much lately so. ANYHOW– I sent the text (which was innocuous, but nonsense, and contained the name Geralt), realized immediately, followed up with “oh whoops wrong convo!” and then replied to the on-topic convo with “I wish I could be there to help!” [re: Farmsister’s seedling sale and its social-distancing woes].Older Sister wrote back, I wish I could be there to help too. His ability to communicate with grunts is amazing. He’s like the Shakespeare of grunting. Nice biceps too.
this was Extremely out of character for Older Sister. (Especially the double spaces after the periods, who does that??) My mom replied with a string of question marks, Farmsister laughed that we all must’ve watched the Witcher, Middle-Little was like it’s not just the biceps, and Older Sister finally clarified, Sorry, that was [Husband] responding to B’s reference to Geralt - a character in a show we actually both watched!
So, I then had to explain that yes, we’re getting through this by making DF play a game we like to watch. Everyone was amused by this, fortunately.
Today MM got a letter from her brother-in-law and he commented it’s so nice of you to humor DF by watching him play video games and she was like he does not realize that is not the dynamic here…
It is not– we didn’t really give him a choice; that’s the game we want to watch. If he wants to game on the TV in the family room while we’re all here, it’s gotta be that one, and we’re amused enough by it that we’ll forego watching TV or movies in order to watch it, so.
Anyhow. Last night we discovered a horrifying pulsating mass under a hillock, that talked, and gave Geralt a quest. We debated about whether to fight this pulsating mass, or to do what it wanted. And in the end, really, all options were bad, and it seemed novel, at least, to try this new terror instead of the one that had strings of human ears hanging all over the marsh.
Part of this quest involved catching a wild horse. “I need to Mount It,” DF said, with bizarre emphasis.
“Knock yourself out,” I said absently.
He did successfully Mount the horse, and then it behaved as if it were tame even after the Axii wore off, so like, ok, but also he never put a bridle on it and then it was just wearing a bit, and like. IDK, IDK. We debated about this demon thing, and like. What other options does this terrible village have?? The swamp witches with the strings of ears? This demon horse thing might be the best fucking option in this ‘verse.
At this point I should mention that before DF had even booted up the Xbox, MM had collected a basket of socks and a drawing of her son’s, and the two of us were preoccupied in attempting to design a stuffed animal based on her son’s Pokemon-inspired drawing of a theoretical new creature called a “drillworm”, about which he had been telling her each night at bedtime for a while now.
Now, we get that the word Drillworm is inherently funny. And to add to it, we’re making stuffed animals, so there was a lot of innuendo about stuffing, and mostly I kept saying it, and then not realizing how what I’d said sounded, and such.
Those are the finished Drillworms, by the way. Yes, there’s a baby one made out of a toe from a toe sock. The one I made has a thick fabric horn I embroidered lines down– that’s the maroon one.
So– this is ongoing, and I’m juggling several text convos, and well, anyway, I wasn’t entirely on form. MM made three Drillworms in the time it took me to make that one. And I complained a lot about the stuffing hole.
And I wasn’t entirely paying attention, and then I looked up just in time to see Geralt hand the silver dagger (IDK if it’s actually silver, I was just internally referencing the song [link is to joan baez 1965 performance of “Silver Dagger”]) to the village alderman and say the Crones had said he’d know about payment.
OK so like TW for gore: The guy kinda sighs, looks at the dagger, walks away. In a moment he CUTS OFF HIS OWN EAR and then comes back and hands it to Geralt. AAAAHHHHHHHH WTF.
I guess that’s where the strings of human ears all over the bog come from!!
So here’s the thing. I’m a sucker for a good monstrous triple goddess. I eat up that shit with the monstrous crone aspect etc, and the ruthlessness of nature (which incidentally the pulsating thing under the hill has talked about– Geralt calls it out about the bodies of presumable innocents nearby and it’s like “nature doesn’t care about innocence”)– like, I eat that up! That’s great! I had thought from the beginning that these crones were my jam.
But these crones are not my jam. Alas. They’re petty and sly and cruel and not my jam. A proper triple goddess, first off, should have a maiden and mother aspect, and should be ruthless like nature but also reliable like nature. Nature is inexorable. Nature is not sly. Nature is indifferent.
Anyway. Disappointing Crones, and they veered too close to just plain misogyny in their attempt at Monstrous Feminism (because there’s nothing grosser than an ugly woman who desires a man! yikes), and it was just sort of. Bleh. No, we’ll have to fight them, or go against them, at least.
We hit level 9, got two more brief Ciri playthrough sections (one where we died like four times before
akilah12902 finally explained that you’re not actually supposed to fight, you’re supposed to run) , got to meet Uma who I know from playthrough videos is Plot-Significant but they hustle him right back off screen, and decided we were going to go follow a quest thing (It’s “Jenny O’ The Woods” but we’ve collectively decided it’s Jenny From The Block instead, and so there’s a lot of absent-minded singing as we go along) and go on foot instead of fast-traveling so we could hit up this alchemist’s shop that was showing up on the map.We get to the alchemist’s shop and suddenly recognize it: it’s fucking Boobs McSassy, Kiera Metz. “Fuck,” said DF, and tried to turn and leave, but he’d gotten too close and triggered a cutscene.
Well… oh, it does give you the option to just. Buy stuff from her.
And boy she’s got great stuff. So we sold all our extra shit to her, and bought enough stuff that we ended up with a full suite, basically, of all the different kinds of oil. BEAST OIL YEAH! We are only bisongrass away from Enhanced Beast Oil, and from there it’s just a hop, skip, jump and some weird esoteric herbals to get the long-coveted Superior Beast Oil of legend and hilarity.
“Check out my Oil Collection,” DF said, enormously smug. “I have a full range of oils and lubricants.”
Including the specific oil you want to use fighting the Wild Hunt’s dogs, which are not, categorically, beasts, for the record.
(Got my Jenny from the woods, DF sang absently. I’m a dude in the woods. There’s a wolf in the woods. Gettin’ killed in the woods. )
A bit later, DF was like, “but we need Dude Oil,” as he fought with some bandits. I glanced up at the screen, saw a selection of large red objects lying on the ground, and said in horror “Are those human livers?”
“No,” DF said. (They were mushrooms.)
“Ah shit,” I said, remembering how much of his life is spent attending specifically liver transplant surgeries. “Too soon?” He sort of rolled his eyes at me.
Not long after that, the bandits got too annoying, and DF had to switch to the other game he likes, and we just finished up the drillworms and went to bed.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-16 07:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 07:18 pm (UTC)