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Ugh, awake far too early. I was up late, and figured I’d have a bit of a lie-in this morning, because it’s saturday, but no! no. traitor body.
of course i’m fretting about how I can’t get to the farm. so, a quick farm update:
Normally by this time I’d’ve been out there twice. I go help on my sister’s farm every spring and summer and fall, and it was ostensibly to help with chicken processing but I always wind up doing childcare and household tasks.
This year they have more help than normal, but they also can’t quarantine. So Annie initially said no don’t come, and then said I could come if I wanted to but she wasn’t going to ask me to, and then last night said don’t, again. I’ve still been toying with the idea of joining them for the first chicken processing day, which is at the end of this month, but if I did, I’d have to isolate for two weeks afterward I think, so I couldn’t come back to MM and DF’s house to help with the kids for two weeks after whenever I finally manage to tear myself away from the farm.
If I still had my yurt I’d probably chance it– get out there, set it up, spend a while there– in fact I’d’ve gone before now. But, that burnt down in October, and I haven’t found a replacement, and there are no firm plans for a replacement, and I can’t live in my sister’s guest room indefinitely. Well, maybe I could, but. (I got the yurt because at the time they didn’t have a guest room, and I’ve kept it because they only have the one guestroom and BIL’s folks all live far away and love to show up basically unannounced on no notice, and also it is just really nice to have a place of one’s own to go and keep one’s things and keep one’s own hours. No, the yurt doesn’t have a bathroom, but there’s an outhouse and I was working on getting myself a little washing-up sink at least.)
They don’t need me at the farm. The way the labor market is, and the way they’ve been adaptively suddenly setting up the on-farm retail space, they’ve got income and also staff, and it’s not the usual needing more help than they can afford bind. They’ve got not the usual two interns, but three, and to boot they’ve got a livestock manager– an expansion they’d been working toward and planning on already, but. The crew seems super nice this year, and chatty and motivated.
And that’s good, but I’m sad to be missing it, and I have not seen or heard my Farmkid niece in months and I am so, so, so sad. I like the kids here, of course I do, I’ve known them since they were born and they’re basically niblings of mine at this point, sure– I expect I could just call them my godkids and it wouldn’t be incorrect except for how there’s no church stuff really involved– but I’ve always been there for Farmkid and now I’m not, and I miss her.
(I should probably Zoom or Skype or Hangouts them at some point. I am not so good at that sort of thing.)
Ah well. It’s getting on toward 6am, which is the hour at which the Boy of this house awakes. We made him several stuffed animals last night, while the Xboxing was going on– I’ll probably discuss those when I eventually write that recap– and have left them for him to find in the living room, and i am quite certain I will overhear him making the discovery. If I try to sleep now, that’ll put an end to it when it happens…
Sighhhhhhhhh
I had anxiety two Saturdays ago, too, and you know why? it’s my body completely misinterpreting my anticipation that Dude is going to visit, and warping me into complete garbage. It’s just my dude, he’s just going to come out and see me for the first time in two weeks, he’s just going to spend like, 24 hours here and then go back, and it’s not going to be that dramatic, but it’s been so nerve-wracking to be suspended in this nothingness that any stimuli at all = anxiety attack.
Also I got my documents from the DOL, and the determination is that since my social security number has been incorrect on my W-2s for some years because my employer is a dumbass, I therefore have zero income eligible for unemployment, and so I have to apply instead for pandemic assistance, but that’s stupid, and I don’t know how to fill out the form because there’s no part in there to be like “listen my employer’s fucking stupid and I have in fact been working for the last eleven years, I do have eligible income for this and you should give me money” but I don’t know how to get help and I don’t understand what to do with the forms, and I just. Might. Maybe. I don’t know what to do. So that sucks.
Yeahhhhh I’m not getting any more sleep this morning. Fuck.
Ugh, awake far too early. I was up late, and figured I’d have a bit of a lie-in this morning, because it’s saturday, but no! no. traitor body.
of course i’m fretting about how I can’t get to the farm. so, a quick farm update:
Normally by this time I’d’ve been out there twice. I go help on my sister’s farm every spring and summer and fall, and it was ostensibly to help with chicken processing but I always wind up doing childcare and household tasks.
This year they have more help than normal, but they also can’t quarantine. So Annie initially said no don’t come, and then said I could come if I wanted to but she wasn’t going to ask me to, and then last night said don’t, again. I’ve still been toying with the idea of joining them for the first chicken processing day, which is at the end of this month, but if I did, I’d have to isolate for two weeks afterward I think, so I couldn’t come back to MM and DF’s house to help with the kids for two weeks after whenever I finally manage to tear myself away from the farm.
If I still had my yurt I’d probably chance it– get out there, set it up, spend a while there– in fact I’d’ve gone before now. But, that burnt down in October, and I haven’t found a replacement, and there are no firm plans for a replacement, and I can’t live in my sister’s guest room indefinitely. Well, maybe I could, but. (I got the yurt because at the time they didn’t have a guest room, and I’ve kept it because they only have the one guestroom and BIL’s folks all live far away and love to show up basically unannounced on no notice, and also it is just really nice to have a place of one’s own to go and keep one’s things and keep one’s own hours. No, the yurt doesn’t have a bathroom, but there’s an outhouse and I was working on getting myself a little washing-up sink at least.)
They don’t need me at the farm. The way the labor market is, and the way they’ve been adaptively suddenly setting up the on-farm retail space, they’ve got income and also staff, and it’s not the usual needing more help than they can afford bind. They’ve got not the usual two interns, but three, and to boot they’ve got a livestock manager– an expansion they’d been working toward and planning on already, but. The crew seems super nice this year, and chatty and motivated.
And that’s good, but I’m sad to be missing it, and I have not seen or heard my Farmkid niece in months and I am so, so, so sad. I like the kids here, of course I do, I’ve known them since they were born and they’re basically niblings of mine at this point, sure– I expect I could just call them my godkids and it wouldn’t be incorrect except for how there’s no church stuff really involved– but I’ve always been there for Farmkid and now I’m not, and I miss her.
(I should probably Zoom or Skype or Hangouts them at some point. I am not so good at that sort of thing.)
Ah well. It’s getting on toward 6am, which is the hour at which the Boy of this house awakes. We made him several stuffed animals last night, while the Xboxing was going on– I’ll probably discuss those when I eventually write that recap– and have left them for him to find in the living room, and i am quite certain I will overhear him making the discovery. If I try to sleep now, that’ll put an end to it when it happens…
Sighhhhhhhhh
I had anxiety two Saturdays ago, too, and you know why? it’s my body completely misinterpreting my anticipation that Dude is going to visit, and warping me into complete garbage. It’s just my dude, he’s just going to come out and see me for the first time in two weeks, he’s just going to spend like, 24 hours here and then go back, and it’s not going to be that dramatic, but it’s been so nerve-wracking to be suspended in this nothingness that any stimuli at all = anxiety attack.
Also I got my documents from the DOL, and the determination is that since my social security number has been incorrect on my W-2s for some years because my employer is a dumbass, I therefore have zero income eligible for unemployment, and so I have to apply instead for pandemic assistance, but that’s stupid, and I don’t know how to fill out the form because there’s no part in there to be like “listen my employer’s fucking stupid and I have in fact been working for the last eleven years, I do have eligible income for this and you should give me money” but I don’t know how to get help and I don’t understand what to do with the forms, and I just. Might. Maybe. I don’t know what to do. So that sucks.
Yeahhhhh I’m not getting any more sleep this morning. Fuck.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-16 10:26 am (UTC)If it’s an outside payroll processor that they use, maybe start with them directly, and don’t be afraid to call and cry while on the phone about how this is causing you to have no income right now, and that you’re worried about all that lost retirement. Legally they are required to fix it, but it’s going to take them a few hours, so making it feel like they are saving you from ruin may help with motivation. If that fails, and telling your employer to get it fixed fails, contacting your local house representatives office sometimes is super helpful. From an employer perspective, this stuff sucks, but is part of having employees. There are potential penalties to the employer if they don’t fix it now that you are notifying them in the form of much higher unemployment insurance rates.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-16 10:39 am (UTC)