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witchernonsense:
Two really dumb ideas that I’ll never write:
AU where Jaskier asks Geralt out but Geralt is a total dad and has no idea about fashion whereas Jaskier is extremely well put together, so he panics and asks his daughter, Ciri, to take him outfit shopping (she’s 10 but girls are born knowing clothes right??) Anyway he turns up to the date in a nice pair of bootcut levis, some clean sneakers, and a muscle t-shirt from hot topic that says ‘I’m Your Daddy’ on it (because Ciri liked the font, and he is her daddy). Jaskier nearly faints.
Through some ridiculous circumstance, Roach ingests a potion that temporarily affords her speech. Geralt does not know about this. He’s wandering through the woods, sighs, and says “remember that troll near the mountains?” like he always does, chattin to his horsey, except she goes “the one that knocked you out and stole your pants? That was pretty funny” and Geralt SCREAMS
I mean.
Here is the playthrough of the quest in Witcher 3 where in order to solve a case of some hermit getting haunted, Geralt gets completely twisted on shrooms and can suddenly understand Roach when she talks.
The truly interesting thing about it is that while that makes it sound like Geralt’s hallucinating the talking, Roach genuinely contributes to solving the quest in concrete ways that wouldn’t be possible if she weren’t really talking. So it’s played entirely straight, and includes such gems as Geralt observing that while Roach is a mare, she sounds like she has a male human voice, and Roach saying “What are you an expert on how horses talk now?” and Geralt responds, “Fair point,” and abandons the question.
They also have an honest exchange of complaints with one another in the midst of a headlong chase scene.
So that’s… video game canon, at least, that Roach is sentient and does speak, but Geralt can only understand her when very specifically high.
witchernonsense:
Two really dumb ideas that I’ll never write:
AU where Jaskier asks Geralt out but Geralt is a total dad and has no idea about fashion whereas Jaskier is extremely well put together, so he panics and asks his daughter, Ciri, to take him outfit shopping (she’s 10 but girls are born knowing clothes right??) Anyway he turns up to the date in a nice pair of bootcut levis, some clean sneakers, and a muscle t-shirt from hot topic that says ‘I’m Your Daddy’ on it (because Ciri liked the font, and he is her daddy). Jaskier nearly faints.
Through some ridiculous circumstance, Roach ingests a potion that temporarily affords her speech. Geralt does not know about this. He’s wandering through the woods, sighs, and says “remember that troll near the mountains?” like he always does, chattin to his horsey, except she goes “the one that knocked you out and stole your pants? That was pretty funny” and Geralt SCREAMS
I mean.
Here is the playthrough of the quest in Witcher 3 where in order to solve a case of some hermit getting haunted, Geralt gets completely twisted on shrooms and can suddenly understand Roach when she talks.
The truly interesting thing about it is that while that makes it sound like Geralt’s hallucinating the talking, Roach genuinely contributes to solving the quest in concrete ways that wouldn’t be possible if she weren’t really talking. So it’s played entirely straight, and includes such gems as Geralt observing that while Roach is a mare, she sounds like she has a male human voice, and Roach saying “What are you an expert on how horses talk now?” and Geralt responds, “Fair point,” and abandons the question.
They also have an honest exchange of complaints with one another in the midst of a headlong chase scene.
So that’s… video game canon, at least, that Roach is sentient and does speak, but Geralt can only understand her when very specifically high.
