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roswell-newton-vargas:
coolberniebernie:
roswell-newton-vargas:
The last time I played Puck, the director was a huge freak about not letting us wear shoes on stage because it would “ruin the look”, but we all kept eating shit, and instead of just letting us wear skintone dance shoes or something with grip, motherfucker poured Pepsi on the floor so it’d be sticky and we had to schlorp around. I fucking hate you, David.
Why couldn’t this have been a one time I dreamt
Coking the stage (mopping it with diluted soda so it’s a little sticky) is a legitimate low-budget tactic for slick floors, but he just poured so much Pepsi on the floors that for about a whole week, it was audible.
Maybe the course of true love would run a little fucking smoother if we didn’t have to ford your Pepsi river, DAVID.
OH MY GOD I once skated in a ROLLER DERBY BOUT where they did the same thing. They had heard of coking a stage, and so instead of doing that, they slopped undiluted generic Coke flavor concentrate around with a mop until it was an eighth of an inch thick in a layer.
It was like skating through wet Elmer’s glue. We pulled the paint up from the floors. We could not use toe stops to start; you could not push off and roll because the tacky syrup would bog your wheels down and pull you to a stop in no time. We innovated a method of starting by jumping forward. It was a brutal slog, and it ruined all of our wheel bearings. I had a bottle of rubbing alcohol and we used the whole thing at halftime just trying to get the shit out of our jammers’ wheels. I was finding fragments of the paint from that floor in my bag YEARS later.
It was the most brutal thing I’ve ever had to cope with.
The afterparty was lit, though.
roswell-newton-vargas:
coolberniebernie:
roswell-newton-vargas:
The last time I played Puck, the director was a huge freak about not letting us wear shoes on stage because it would “ruin the look”, but we all kept eating shit, and instead of just letting us wear skintone dance shoes or something with grip, motherfucker poured Pepsi on the floor so it’d be sticky and we had to schlorp around. I fucking hate you, David.
Why couldn’t this have been a one time I dreamt
Coking the stage (mopping it with diluted soda so it’s a little sticky) is a legitimate low-budget tactic for slick floors, but he just poured so much Pepsi on the floors that for about a whole week, it was audible.
Maybe the course of true love would run a little fucking smoother if we didn’t have to ford your Pepsi river, DAVID.
OH MY GOD I once skated in a ROLLER DERBY BOUT where they did the same thing. They had heard of coking a stage, and so instead of doing that, they slopped undiluted generic Coke flavor concentrate around with a mop until it was an eighth of an inch thick in a layer.
It was like skating through wet Elmer’s glue. We pulled the paint up from the floors. We could not use toe stops to start; you could not push off and roll because the tacky syrup would bog your wheels down and pull you to a stop in no time. We innovated a method of starting by jumping forward. It was a brutal slog, and it ruined all of our wheel bearings. I had a bottle of rubbing alcohol and we used the whole thing at halftime just trying to get the shit out of our jammers’ wheels. I was finding fragments of the paint from that floor in my bag YEARS later.
It was the most brutal thing I’ve ever had to cope with.
The afterparty was lit, though.
no subject
Date: 2019-08-15 06:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-08-15 07:15 pm (UTC)At least the Sprite wouldn't stain everything shit-brown, that was maybe the worst part.
No, it wasn't the worst part, how absolutely bafflingly unskateable it was was really the worst part.
I also remember the announcers never mentioned it, and it was a new league so most of the spectators were new to the sport, so there was no explanation given of why all the participants skated like they were a newborn Bambi and it was an ice rink, only stickier. Like... don't you think you'd bring that up? "By the way, I watch these guys practice sometimes and they don't look like this, I think maybe the floor's surface is challenging somehow!" Nary a peep.